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I scan over the website, opting for the more ornate hotel of the two offered via the travel company. Le Meurice hotel is a mile or so outside of the city and from what I can see, I know Jess will love it.
Once I’ve chosen our flights, I email the hotel and ask them to upgrade our room.
“Go get your passport,” I nudge her, letting her finally break free of our cocoon.
By the time we’ve finished, we’re both yawning. Nora snuck off to bed earlier, taking one of her many books and crossword puzzles with her.
“Time for bed, lover boy.” Jess pecks my lips; it is the sort of kiss that shows me she is happy. Those moments where she unconsciously holds my hand, strokes my head, kisses me quickly; those are the moments I want to keep forever.
“Damn, I didn’t bring a suit for work tomorrow. I don’t know why, but I didn’t think about staying here. I just wanted to get to you.”
“That’s okay,” she hums, “I understand if you have to go.”
I shift my body to get more comfortable on the sofa. Lying flat on my side, I stretch my legs out and Jess sits up slightly, so her body is higher than mine. It just so happens that it’s the perfect height for me to rest my head in between her boobs. So that’s exactly what I do.
I mumble something I know sounds completely incoherent to Jess. She pulls my head back and says, “I got none of that. One more time for the back row.”
I grumble because she moved my head out of my favourite place. “If I have to die, I want to die right here.” I bury my head between her boobs again and she chuckles.
“Okay, I’ll be sure to make sure it says you died between my boobs on your headstone.” She pats me, and I know she’s joking, but I’m not.
“Oh, add a picture too, you know, for the heaven spank bank,” I say, lifting my head.
Her laugh rumbles in her chest and my head shakes because I’m still buried between her beautifully soft bosom.Yeah, I could definitely go out this way.
“It’s cute that you think you’ll be going to heaven. You’re far too naughty to be walking around with the angels.”
I look up at her and grin widely. “Yet here you are, with me.”
She rolls her eyes with a smile. “Okay, Casanova, let’s get you home.”
When I make no motion to move, Jess continues stroking my hair. Her breath hitches for a second as she says. “Hey, can I talk to you about something?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“I want to apologise for the other day. I'm sorry.”
“Listen, you don’t have to—”
“I do. I’m not used to being open and honest with people. It feels… weird. But you’ve been so open and honest with me, and I want to give you that, too. When Grayson said about marriage and kids, I panicked. Forever just felt like a big word, but it’s not, especially when I think about spending it with you.”
“Scotty…” I say, willing the emotion to stay out of my voice.
“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that this feels right between us, and I don’t want to lose it again.”
I feel the moment that my heart stutters and stumbles into the palm of her delicate hands. The realisation hits me full force. I’m falling for her all over again. Maybe I never actually stopped. She remained in my heart even though it broke for her; it healed the moment I saw her again. It feels right being with her too. It always has, even if we spent ten years apart. None of that matters now that I have her again.
“This feels right to me, too. And that scares the shit out of me. I want you. I’d like to keep you, Scotty. Foreverisa big word. But I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it.” I admit, giving her a snippet of how I’m feeling.
Her eyes shine. “You feel like family. Like home. I need that.”
Another wave of emotion ripples through me. I’m getting everything I’ve ever wanted. Jess is opening up to me and now I’m keeping secrets from her because of my dad.
I need to tell her about her mum. I want to tell her.
I grab her wrist and pull her towards me. “You know I came to your office to tell you something?”
She nods her head.
