AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No, Harrison. Please don’t be nice to me. I don’t deserve it. You wouldn’t have chosen me if it weren’t for circumstances. Our arrangement was a lie and now everything is so fucked, I…” She buries her head in her hands on another howl that pierces the silent night.
Emotions pool in my gut and I can’t pinpoint one that sticks before it shifts to another. She does deserve to be treated right and everything she’s feeling now is because of her parents’ poor treatment of her. The one emotion that sticks in my throat is rage for her parents. “Fuck the arrangement and fuck your father too. If he can’t see how amazing you are, then it’s his loss,” I rush out, unable to tame the sneer in my tone when I mention her dad.
She pauses, raising her head slightly. “I-I’ll never be enough for him,” she whispers into the sleeve of her jumper, covering her mouth.
The fury that was stuck in my throat dies a death when I see the pure destruction on her face from her admission. Everything in me screams to comfort her, so I do.
“You’re enough for me.”
I hold her tighter, needing the material of her jumper in my palms because if I can be the one thing she needs in this moment, then I’ll do it. I’d give her the world if she asked me. This strong woman deserves so much more than being treated second best. She deserves everything and I want to help her get that. I don’t need to be her purpose, but I want to help her find it again because seeing her so defeated like this is destroying me as much as it is her.
My lips meet her forehead as I take a deep breath against her soft skin.
“Zoey, I’m so sorry that someone has made you feel like you aren’t worth all the love you deserve. But sweetheart, let me tell you,” I say, lifting her chin so our eyes meet. “Not all of us want to hurt you. Some of us just want to love you.”
Chapter 44
Zoey
Andinthemiddleof it all, he stood with me, unwavering.
Choosing me.
His love roared louder than my chaos.
Chapter 45
Zoey
It’sbeenaweek.One week of moping, one week of eating ice cream, like it’s my main food group.
Harrison tried to take me to see the animals a couple of days ago to cheer me up, but I couldn’t. Not yet. I will, but for now, I know they’re safe and being looked after, so I need to take a minute. Or a week, it seems.
Unsurprisingly, I haven’t heard a thing from my parents. Either of them.
I'm not sure what I expected, but the silence tells me I’ve done the right thing. They’ll never be a part of my life again. Even admitting that to myself hurts. It feels like a million tiny knife wounds against my heart because aren’t they the ones who should love me unconditionally? It shouldn’t matter if I was the ‘surprise baby’, I should’ve never been treated differently to my brothers and I see that now. Letting go has been harder than I thought it would be but I’m processing slowly.
Hence the wallowing. I’ve binged every TVshow and movie ever made, my favourite beingRed, White and Royal Blue,and if I don’t move soon, I’m going to become delusional and start thinking that I’m the Kings’ son and I’m in love with the president’s son. My Instagram is full of fan made reels of Alex and Prince Henry and it makes me cry every time I see the clips. Why couldn’t I be a fictional gay man in another life?Fuck, maybe I’m already losing it. I need to get out of this bed.
My brothers have been blowing up my phone. Nora and Jess came over and force fed me a salad two days ago, but I’ve ruined their hard work with more ice cream. A lot more. In fact, I might never eat it again after today.
Aside from encouraging me to shower, eat and drink water, Harrison has mostly just sat with me and held me. He’s even worked from home all week. He’s been here for me and listened to me when I’ve been ready to talk, but also been silent with me and never once expected me to do anything other than justbe.
Wallowing is good for the soul, especially when you shun your parents, lose your trust fund and realise that even with the renovations paid for, running that shelter isn’t a long-term thing I can do without that money. To be honest, I’ve probably grieved that more than my parents. I need a plan to make sure I don’t lose that place, which is why today is the day I’m done with wallowing. I’m making a plan, I’m talking fundraisers, organising family days.
Today, I’malive.
I’m showered, which is a blessing, believe me. My week old hair was not the one. But now, it’s sleek clean, and so am I. Determination fuels my steps as I walk out of the room I’ve been holed up in and step out into the fresher parts of the house.
“Harrison?” I call, scanning the hallway, waiting for him to respond.
“In the kitchen,” he replies. I pad my bare feet to the place where he is and when I see him bare chested, sun glowing behind him as he chops strawberries, my chest fills with a warmth that only he gives me.
When he looks up, his expression falters. “Wow,” he breathes, heat sparking in his big brown eyes.
I brush my fingers through the tips of my hair. “I know. I’m unrecognisable and clean. Come here and smell me. I no longer smell like despair and sorrow,” I say, trying to hide the pain in my voice, but when he rounds the corner and pulls me into his strong arms, lifting me from the floor with such ease, my throat burns with that release that comes from crying your eyes out.Damn it, I’ve done enough crying.
“You always look beautiful, sweetheart. But you do smell incredible.” He groans into my neck and squeezes me tighter. “A lot less like stale ice cream now, more like you,” he says, inhaling deeply again. Something awakens in me that’s been dead all week, a tingling, an awareness of him and how fucking much I want him.
