AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No! Where’s the pink?” I say, spinning her around.
She chuckles in my arms. “Pink!” she shouts again, pointing everywhere. Harrison ambles up next to us and Poppy all but leaps into his arms.
“Hi, Popster. How does it feel to be two?” he asks, kissing her cheek.
Poppy grins and wraps her little arms around his neck as she screams, “Aa-pane, Aa-pane!” She wants him to swoosh her around like a little aeroplane. It’s something he’s always done since she was tiny and… watching him with her, I suddenly feel that same feeling in the pit of my tummy. It happens every time he’s with his nieces, too.
And I think it might be guilt.
We’ve hardly talked about having a family and now I feel this weight settling uncomfortably in my belly for not talking about it sooner. It’s not that I don’t want kids, it’s just that I’ve always considered myself the fun aunt, not the Mama. But watching how effortless Harrison is with kids, I’m wondering if he feels the same or if he wants a whole brood of Clarke kids.
Truthfully, if he told me he wanted children. I’d have one in a heartbeat, but I just never imagined having one. But then I never imagined having a fake husband who turns out to be my real husband, either.
Poppy squeals as he sets her down and we watch her run towards the pink bouncy castle and catapult her tiny self onto it.
He takes my hand and kisses the back of it, breaking my trance I’ve managed to put myself into watching little Poppy. When I look at him, his eyes are slightly squinted in question. “What’s that look?”
I shake my head lightly. “What look? I don’t have a look.”
Harrison eclipses my view of the room by stepping in front of me. “I know you, sweetheart. What’s going on?” His voice is so soft and gentle andGod,he’ll make the perfect dad. But I just, I just…
“Do you want kids one day?” I blurt in the most uncouth way imaginable.
Harrison chuckles, and I can’t figure out if he’s smiling because I brought the subject up or if he’s going to tell me he wants to get me pregnant right now. Either way, I’m sweating.
“Doyouwant kids?” he counters.
“I asked you first,” I say pointedly, incredibly aware of the fact that I’m acting like a child myself.
“Sweetheart.” He holds my chin between his thumb and forefinger, something he knows makes me so weak for him. “I want what you want. Mostly, I want you. But I’m not scared about any version of our future.” He guides my face to his and softly kisses my forehead.
I feel my heart tumbling down to my feet and then swooshing right back into my chest. “How are you real?” I mumble, pulling him into a kiss that probably isn’t that appropriate for a kid’s party. I pull back and peck him once more, looking into his big brown eyes, I get lost so easily. “Would you be mad if I said I’m happy as we are?”
His smile doesn’t falter, as he keeps me in his arms. “I’m happy too. We have some amazing family around us and cute tiny humans that we get to spoil. I’m really fucking happy.”
The weight somewhat dissipates from my belly, and I let out a sigh. “Me too.” I settle my chin on his chest, looking up at him. “Promise me something?” I ask, and he nods in response. “If you ever feel differently, you’ll talk to me.”
A big hand comes up to stroke a strand of hair from my face, dipping to kiss my forehead. “Likewise.”
And for the millionth time since being married to my husband, I wonder how I got so damn lucky that the person who owns all of my heart is him.
