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I didn’t want to, but I was in debt to her. A secret for a secret. I think what made me so angry was thatSasanever said a word about it. He could rarely keep something from me, or so I thought.
“Fine. I’ll let it go. Like you said, it’s in the past. And I have a whole future to focus on.”
A future where I had no right to question who tried to sleep with Salvatore Fiori. There will be other women and I’d know. Palermo was not as big of a city as some thought.People talk, rumors spread. One day they’d tell me he had someone new on his arm and then I’d have to learn to bite my tongue and move on.
Chapter 10
After ten days I’ve become numb to the throbbing ache in my chest. It wasn’t better, but at least I could function. I kept myself busy with dance, going with Rebecca and Ruby – one of my other sisters in law – to some charity events, and kill time with Pina.
Rosa Vitale and I had some serious talks last week when she tried to persuade me again to summon up the courage and audition for a ballet academy, so we compromised, and I agreed to go visitLa Scala. My father was ok with me traveling to Milano as long as I agreed to take Garon with me. I had no problems with that.
Miss Rosa called in some favors for me to be allowed to attend some classes while there which would keep me busy anyway and besides that, Garon was not the type of brother to breathe down my neck. He said he’ll come to watch over me, but we both know he was more excited for the clubs, the booze, and the women.
I walked down the stairs of my house, ready to leave and meet the Bernoulli sisters, but I didn’t make it to the door because I heard my father’s voice calling for me from his home office. I found him on the couch, looking over the new issue ofIl Giornale[20]with a cup of espresso in his hand.
“You called,Babbo?”
“Come sit with me for a second, my dear.”
When I got close, he took my hand and kissed it. My father, the one and only Fabiano Caputo, was a man made of steel. He was knocking on seventy and people still feared him on every corner of the peninsula. He wasDonfirst and father second, and I was used to things being like that. I respected my father, loved him, but didn’t get to see him as much as I got to see Fabiano theDon.
“Is everything ok?”
“Yes, Grazia. I just wanted to check on you. Something’s not right.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Just becauseyou thinkI don’t pay attention, doesn’t mean I don’t, daughter. You’ve not been yourself lately.”
I wasn’t so sure he was the one who paid attention to me. Guido slept here at the house a couple of nights last week and he tried to put on a movie night for us, but I just wasn’t in the mood. If I’d have to guess, I’d say that either him or Delfina brought this to my father’s attention. It was ok, I was used to it. We were eight kids andBabbowas a busy man, looking over an entirefamiglia. Most of the time, all his attention was focused on Giovani, for he was the heir of the family.
“I’m ok.” I lied, blinking at him.
“Are you? Because I don’t hear your laugh anymore. The house is too quiet without it.”
“I’m just tired, that’s all. Miss Rosa really put me to work lately.”
“I don’t want you to exhaust yourself for those damn dance lessons. I’m happy to pay for your hobby, my dear girl, but don’t let it become too much. I brought Rosa Vitale here to take care of you.”
“She is,Babbo, you don’t have to worry. And it’s not just a hobby, you know that.”
“Yes, yes.” He dismissed me with a wave of his hand. “If you think it’s important to spin around on a stage, then I’ll be happy to make it happen. Have you sorted things out for your trip to Milano?”
“Garon is taking care of everything. We’re leaving at the end of the month.”
“Good. Your brother will take care of you.”
“I know he will.” I said, even if I wanted to tell him –again– that I didn’t need anyone to take care of me. I could watch my own back and win my own battles, but my father never agreed with that. In his eyes, I was the only one of his eight kids that was born with a disadvantage – I was a woman.
“So this school? Rosa Vitale tells me it’s a big deal.”
“It’sScala,Babbo. One of the best in the world. You’ve been there.” My mother was a lover of the fine arts and she dragged him along all the time.
“Yes, yes. Is this visit like a test? To see if they want you?”
“No. I’ll just go and see how things work, take some classes. They don’t hold auditions for a few months and maybe I’ll try out then.”
“If you want to go, I can make it happen. I don’t like thinking about my little girl leaving me, but if it makes you happy, just say the word. I’ll buy you a spot.” He wasn’t saying it to sound like a jerk, but for once I’d like him to believe in me a little more.
