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Booker:I’m scared.
McCall:Of what?
Booker:That she’ll read my reason for leaving and think it wasn’t good enough. That my excuse was weak and that I hurt her for nothing. I’m scared she won’t choose me in the end.
McCall:Cuz, it’s time to be brave. That girl loves you, she never stopped. She wants to see you so bad I bet she can damn near taste it. But she needs all the answers first.
Booker:Give her the last one then.
Last Letter
Macie Girl,
I guess since you aren’t getting these, I can be honest. Not that I’ve been lying in the other ones. All the words I wrote are true. But it’s time you know why I left. It’s time you understood what happened that last perfect night we were together.
There are a lot of reasons I didn’t tell you, none of them right. None of them wrong either. I was trying to protect you. I was trying to save the future I always imagined for us. I hope you see it that way. I really hope you see it that way.
The week before I left, we hooked up in my truck down by the tank, remember that? We were fogging up the windows and I was afraid my momma would hear your screams all the way back at the house. Fuck, that night was everything, baby.
But then the condom broke. I was scared, you were scared. We were two kids in a small town. I spent the next few weeks picturing what would happen if you were pregnant. What our life would look like, and how you wouldn't go to school.
I worried how I’d afford a house for us. I didn’t want to put much stock in your parents helping us. They would've disowned you. All that money between them, and I knew they wouldn’t have given us a dime.
Even after we knew everything was okay, I couldn’t shake my fears. I wanted more for you than what I was able to give. I started to really examine my life, and our future.
I was in a community college in the middle of nowhere Texas. Was it enough? I didn’t know. I’d already started looking into the military. I was planning on talking to you about it. I wanted to know what you thought. I wanted us to decide together.
But then your daddy caught me sneaking out of your window. The sun was starting to rise, and as soon as I landed on my feet he knocked me on my ass. He was pissed. And I couldn’t blame him. If I caught some guy coming out of our daughter’s room, I’d have done the same.
But it wasn’t the blow to the face that broke me. It was the threat delivered after it. I was nineteen, you were seventeen. It was during those few months where our age gap seemed bigger than it was.
I’d already graduated. He told me he was going to call the cops. That you were underage. He said I’d never amount to anything and it was time for us to end. It was time for you to start your real life.
He told me if I didn’t leave, he’d file charges and that they would follow me around forever. I didn’t care about me, baby. But my life would always be connected to yours, and I didn’t want that for you. For our kids.
I told him I’d go.
I knew you’d be angry, but I thought I'd get to tell you the truth. I was going to call you as soon as I got back to my house, but when I tried, my calls weren’t going through.
I was going to try to catch you at school, but there were cops stationed outside. I snuck into your house one last time. I left you a letter. Hell, I hid it under your pillow. But I know now that they got to that too.
Your parents had thought of everything. They wouldn’t even let McCall near you until I was gone.
I never intended for you to think I left without saying a word. I would never do that to you. Never. So I wrote the letters. And they intercepted them. Every which way was blocked. I didn’t even know until it was too late.
I know this is hard to hear. But I did all this for us. Our endgame was always the only thing that mattered to me.
You're the love of my life, Macie girl. And that will never change.
Please forgive me.
All my love,
Booker
Macie + Booker
Macie:I got your last letter.
