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She hesitates before completely relaxing. “I want to warn you, I do not sleep well with someone in my bed.”
I know it’s stupid, but jealousy whips through me. Jesus, one of my exes showed up here, and Avery was cool as a cucumber and got the woman to leave. But, no, I lay here upset she had a life before me. Mature, Jon. Real mature.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Why?”
“Your fist is clenched.”
Sure enough, I look down and notice my fist clenched against her shoulder. “Sorry. I was just jealous.”
She rises up off my chest to look down at me. Even in the dim light, I can see her. Her hair is a mess of curls, and her face is still flushed from our lovemaking. “Of what? Sienna finding someone else?”
I frown at her. “Why would I care about that?”
She shrugs. “She’s gorgeous.”
She doesn’t sound jealous. It’s as if she’s just stating a fact. One thing about Avery is she doesn’t lie. Sure, she might cloud the truth by not telling someone what is precisely going on, but I’m learning that she does that because she thinks she’s protecting the other person. Avery isn’t meeting my eyes, and that’s weird. Another thing about Avery is that she believes in eye contact, even in uncomfortable situations.
“She is, but I don’t care who she ends up with.”
Her gaze finally touches mine, and a small smile curves her lips. “Sorry. It’s not like I have a right to be upset with you. It’s just that I’ve had a bad track record back to my first boyfriend.”
I open my mouth to ask her about him, but then she makes a rude noise.
“God, I’m lying in bed with the man who gave me the best sex of my life, complete with multiple orgasms, and I’m talking about my first boyfriend. This is why everyone calls me awkward.”
It takes me a second to work through that sentence.
“First, part of your awkwardness is what makes you attractive.”
She rolls her eyes. “Sure.”
Irritation moves through me. “Stop that.”
“What?”
“Stop doubting yourself.”
She opens her mouth to argue with me, but I stop her.
“I get that everyone sees you as this brash, funny genius. And you are that. But I’ve been here the last week. I’ve seen you up at night, not able to sleep.”
“I sleep during the day.”
She sounds defensive, and now I understand what is happening with her. She does show the world she’s a funny, smart girl. But there is that part of her that’s hurting.
“Having insomnia doesn’t mean that you’re a failure. Dealing with depression isn’t easy.”
She might not move away from me, but she’s building a wall. If this was a normal relationship, I would let it go. This time, though, I don’t want that.
“I am not depressed.”
Each word is drenched in anger, but I hear the fear beneath the comments. I realize that pushing this issue would push her way. For the first time in a long time, I don’t want space. I want to crawl inside of her and know every bit of her. Alarm bells sound in my head, but I ignore them.
“So, tell me about this Chet dude.”
I remember that her sister mentioned his name the other night. She hesitates for just long enough to make me think I might have ruined any chances of a second round. But, at that last second, I feel her relax against me.
