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Fuck, and sheshouldunderstand. Maybe if she did, she might see why he couldn’t let her near it. Maybe he should… “I can show you what I do.”
“Really? Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
“I think…you need to know.”
She nodded against his chest. “I agree. I can’t really know how to help if I don’t know what you’re up against. But no rush, whenever you’re ready.”
“Now,” he said quietly.
“Now?”
“Yes.”
She angled her head on his chest, peering up at him. “Are you sure?”
“I’ll tell you what I am, Cat. I’m desperate out of my mind to have it again. And if I do this, I’m opening that door. And even if I don’t do it, the door is open in my mind, beckoning me. It will never stop.”
“We’ll do this together. We’ll find a way, that’s all there is to it. I am not about to let this thing push you around, that’s my place.”
“Fuck, you know what that does to me? You talking about pushing me around?”
“I do know. And I’m ready to become what you need. But…I do think I need to see what that looks like.”
CHAPTER TEN
Cat forced her mouth shut after entering through a heavy door made of black metal. She squeezed Ethan’s hand, glad he’d taken it in his. “Don’t need to worry about anybody breaking in here,” she muttered as lights flickered on along the walls, revealing a sight that set her pulse racing. Black walls, black floor, black ceiling.
“It’s uh…fully black,” she said, her stomach knotting at spotting the single bed looking chair in the middle of the room. Also black. Stuff hung from the ceiling right above it and rose from the floor beneath. Not at all like a hospital horror movie.
He suddenly pulled her to him and kissed her. His tongue drove and lashed, telling her what being in there did to him. Enough to make her weak-kneed. He suddenly pulled away and walked over to the chair. He stood next to a small table and the lights dimmed and the walls all around changed into a scene. Of a dungeon. She looked up as the ceiling filled with the same cavernous décor. She looked all around in utter, creeped out astonishment. The audacity to have this kind of brilliance in a swamp of all places.
Her gaze snapped back to him now removing his clothes. Was he starting? Was she supposed to stand where she was? And just watch?
He suddenly turned and reached his hand out toward her.
She made her way to him and put her hand in his. “So, I lay in this chair,” he said softly, showing her. “And hook myself up to the all these wires and undergo a session.”
Undergo. Like a painful medical procedure. “A session?”
“A Dungeon scene.”
She nodded, looking at the chair, not understanding.
“You have two ways of understanding this process. Either you get in the chair and let me show you. Or you put on a second headset and watch me go through a session.”
Oh God. “W-what…exactly would you do in a session?”
He eyed her, making her nervous with his intense gaze. Clearly the hard part for her to hear. “I’m bound on a stone slab face down. A sadist enters and whips me with a flogger while…my cock is imprisoned in something like a cage that tightens until orgasm.”
She swallowed. “H-how long is…the session?”
“As long as it takes to orgasm.”
“Which is…usually…”
“An hour. Sometimes less. Or more. Depending on my state of mind.”
She nodded, looking at the bed, ready to be sick at the idea of seeing him endure such a thing. “But…it’s not real.” She regarded him. “Right?”
