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“I’ve called an Uber. Go home, Grayson.”
Really? Fuck.
I want to tell her that she’s being petty. It was just a kiss. I was just trying to calm her down. I want to explain that I was only trying to help. But instead, I sneer, “fine, suit yourself,” and instantly regret it as soon as the words leave my mouth.
And then I walk off. Boner and all.
Chapter 9
Nora
Hemutterssomethingmyway as he stomps off. As though he didn’t just kiss me in the lift and now, he’s annoyed at me for what just happened, when he was the one who did the kissing…. mostly.
Grayson kissed me. Again.
And I liked it far too much. Yet again.
Memories of our last kisses flood my brain. I remember pretty much everything about that night because apparently, I like to torture myself, whenever I let myself think about it. How he—No, Nora, don’t do it.
Pretty sure I stumbled into some sort of alternate universe because months ago, before we slept together, I never would’ve entertained him at all. So why did I kiss him back? I don’t understand how I’ve gone from strangers to one night stand, to this weird non-friend thing to now… what? My head is spinning, a complete merry-go-round.
In my defence, I was on the brink of a panic attack. My world was foggy and confusing. Anyone could’ve kissed me, and I wouldn’t have questioned it because hello? Panic attack?! He asked me if I was okay before we got in the lift and the truth was, I wanted to prove something to myself. It’s an irrational fear that I have from when I was eight and I got stuck in a lift with my mum on a shopping trip. We were stuck for hours, I had two panic attacks. and I’ve not been able to kick that fear since, despite knowing all the techniques I tell my clients.
The kiss was the first thing to ever calm me down, which is something I absolutely refuse to admit to Grayson.
Last week, Grayson said that he thinks I want a kiss that would rewrite my DNA, and as much as I hate to admit it, that was some fucking kiss.
Stupid boys and their stupid lips confusing my brain.
My body sags at my internal battle and I’m so exhausted after the whole lift situation that I just want to sleep. Dragging my hand over my face, I realise that my heart is still in some perpetual state of shock because there’s a metaphorical lump that I can’t seem to shift from my chest.
My Uber arrives and I get in, not even trying to attempt small talk with the driver because my brain is awash with confusion, and he happily ignores me.
When I arrive back home, the house is empty, and I thank my lucky stars that I don’t have to hide anything from Jess and Liam. It’s near enough impossible to hide things from them both. They know me too well. I managed to sneak out tonight because they were out, but I won’t be so lucky if I had to try to explain why I look so flustered and confused right now. Jess would have a field day if she found out anything had happened with Grayson, and she would demand to know if we’re getting together. But that is not happening. Kissing Grayson again was a mistake. A very good… no, bad mistake.
I empty my handbag on the kitchen worktop and my phone lights up with a text.
Grayson:I’m sorry.
Two words that should mean that I start to feel better about what happened, but for some reason, I don’t. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want his apology or that it feels like he’s just saying it to placate me. I type a reply and delete it and then do it again and again until I settle on:
Nora:Are you sorry that you kissed me?
The typing bubbles pop up immediately.
Grayson:Would you be mad if I wasn’t?
I feel my face blanche. Would I be mad if he wasn’t sorry for kissing me? I don’t know, no? Yes? Maybe?
Nora:That feels like a loaded question. One that my brain can’t handle right now. Let’s just forget it happened.
There. I don’t want him; he doesn’t want me. It was just the ‘moves’ from our fake date. It was just him doing whatever he does to be the playboy he is.
Grayson:I kissed you because you were freaking out, and I don’t know how to handle women who freak out. I maybe panicked a little too, so I guess I’m sorry for jumping you. Can we still be friends?
Surely, he didn’t just apologise to me again. I’m in the twilight zone; kisses and apologies from Grayson in one night are too much for anyone. I think about the way he asks if we can still be friends and something tugs at my heartstrings, making me realise that I don’t want to push him away.
Nora:We can still be friends who don’t kiss. I’m grateful for your help, but all this apologising is freaking me out. Did someone steal your phone, because I don’t believe it’s you.
