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I let myself get lost in her, slowly moving in and back out again, leaving her pieces of me each time I retreat. Being with Nora has always been electric. I’ve never been able to get enough of her, but tonight, right now, I never want to leave. I want her to stay with me and be mine. But I also haven’t ever felt this way about anyone, and I don’t know what the fuck to do about these feelings.What if I’m not good enough for her? What if she hates me in a few months’ time? I won’t want to let her go. Fuck, my mind is on a carousel.
A groan leaves my chest, fear slipping into my mind as I roll my hips into hers, pushing myself deeper into her, trying to drown myself in her body and not my own thoughts. Arching underneath me, Nora’s hands drift all over my upper body and around the back of my neck, searching for more from me. She licks her full lips, gasping out that she’s close, and it’s all the permission I need. Burying my face in the curve of her neck, letting her have all that I can offer right now, I come hard. Spilling inside her at the same time her orgasm chases her to her highest peak, her walls spasming around me, making me come harder and longer than I’ve ever done before.
We lay entwined together, both panting. My heart echoes loudly in my chest, my throat, fucking everywhere in slow motion as time stands still. Nora’s hands stroke my back as she sighs tenderly in my ear. I’m no expert, because I’ve never actually done it, but that felt a whole lot like making love, not just fucking. And fuck… my head’s even more of a mess. I feel like I’m torn in two. I want so badly to tell her how I feel, but I can’t bring myself to say the words to her.
What the fuck is wrong with me? She deserves so much more. I’ll never be able to give her it all.
I push myself up slightly, my now semi-hard cock still inside her. Her eyes are hooded with a look of bliss and her lips are swollen from my kisses. Her hand cups my face, her thumb rolls over my bottom lip and I catch sight of her tattoo, the one thatIwrote for her. I lower my head and kiss her wrist, right over the word yes. An unfamiliar emotion floods my body, I feel like I’m drowning on dry land, all the air has been stolen from my lungs.What the fuck is going on?The weight of my feelings crushes me as I slip out from inside her, turn onto my back and stare at the ceiling. Immediately, she snuggles into me humming with satisfaction, placing her head on my chest. Even though we’ve cuddled a thousand times, my body suddenly feels weighted and stiff. My vision blurs as I force a swallow, managing to take a few slow breaths.
After a while Nora’s breathing becomes rhythmic against my chest. I try to fall asleep too, but sleep evades me. My whirling thoughts keeping me wide awake. Eventually, with my eyes burning from no sleep I decide to slip out from underneath her. When she grumbles and moves to her side, I stroke her hair and look at my dark haired beauty with my heart in my throat.
She deserves someone who can give her the world and I don’t know if I’m that person for her.
So, before the sun comes up, I leave.
Chapter 27
Nora
ThankGodIhaveZoey. She knows about Grayson and is the only person I can talk to about him. I think I would’ve driven myself mad by this point if I didn’t talk to someone. I want to tell Jess, but we really haven’t seen each other since she’s moved out and I don’t want to do it over the phone.
“So, tell me all the juicy, saucy, delicious gossip with you and your man.”
“He’s notmyman,” I say emptily, ignoring that little possessive voice that seems to be getting louder lately. “But we’ve spent almost every night together the last few weeks. I swear he knows every single pleasure point in my body, and he memorises them so he can go back later and explore them again and again.” I sigh, resigning myself to the fact that I’m ruined for any other man now.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re catching feelings for him.” She bites into her sandwich and acts like she didn’t just tell me I liked Grayson more than I’ll admit.
“No, we agreed—no feelings. It’s casual, we’re casual. That’s all there is to it. He’s helping me with the list and I’m helping him… with orgasms,” I say, questioning what he’s actually getting out of this besides sex. I’m not convincing anyone of the truth of the matter here, which is I am definitely catching feelings.
“You’d be really bad at poker, you know.” She waves her coffee in my direction.
I roll my eyes. “I don’t have feelings.” Saying that out loud feels wrong though.
“Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that, princess,” she muses.
I shift my eyes around the busy coffee shop. The same people come here often, just like Zoey and me. Sometimes Jess joins us too, but weddings and events at the hotel she works at often take up a lot of her time during working hours and Liam takes up the rest.
“Maybe I do care about him. There is something between us, but I think it’s just because of the sex. It’s intimate, and he’s sweet and kind...” I trail off, not really sure where I was going with this. “We know exactly what we’re doing.”Even though I don’t think we do.
“Intimacy is a good foundation for love, babe. I hate to tell you, but you are already in deep with feelings even if you won’t admit it,” she says around a bite of her sandwich.
She’s possibly right, but I’m living in denial, eating denial for all my meals and sipping on it every day. I know I’m not kidding anyone, though. I have feelings for Grayson King. I just need to figure them out before I blurt out something embarrassing.
“Does Jess know?”
I shake my head as my throat grows thick. “I haven’t told her yet, but it’s because I haven’t seen her.”
Zoey nods. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact you’re scared to admit it?”
My eyes narrow as I take a big bite of my own sandwich, loving the burst of tomatoes on my tongue. I wipe away any crumbs with a napkin before I speak again. “I thought I was meant to be the therapist.”
My mind wanders as I chew on my sandwich. I think about the last few weeks with Grayson.
“Did you know I’m afraid of lifts?”
Zoey shakes her head. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in a lift with you.”
“It’s silly, but when I was younger, probably around eight, my mum and I got stuck in a lift. We were there for about an hour, but it felt longer. I had my first panic attacks whilst we were waiting. I still hate them now.”
