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Liam must remember where we are and composes himself slightly, but his fists still clench, so I keep myself on high alert, just in case. “You said you’ve messed it up already?” he snarls as he picks up a rugby ball and bowls it into my body much harder than he usually would, which fucking hurts.
“Yeah…” I wince, then cough, trying to clear the winded feeling in my stomach.
“So, tell me how you messed up. If Jess knows, you might want to watch your arse in my house because she’ll kill you.”Yeah, I know.“Second thought. I might kill you first.”
I take a few measured steps away from him, not wanting to get another ball to the ribs. “I may have panicked about my feelings for her. I got caught up and fast, and I couldn’t rationalise what I felt for her. I kept thinking about my parents and how fucked up they were and how my dad would tell me ‘never get married’. Logically, I know we weren’t getting married, but it didn’t stop the panic. I was terrified, and I left her when she was asleep. Then after work on Friday, I…” I stop myself, feeling like a complete arsehole.
“Spit it out, will you?” His jaw ticks and I briefly fear for the next words out of my mouth.
“Two women started talking to me and I didn’t stop it. At some point, even though I hated it, I just figured it would be easier, and she deserved more than me, but… everything was wrong. I couldn’t get Nora out of my head. Then she was in the bar, and she saw me with them. Nothing… and I mean nothing happened, I realised I couldn’t do that. But fuck… I’ve messed up.” I deflate, the image of her crying still haunting me.
Liam’s nose flares, and he exhales two heavy breaths. “Dude, Nora is like a sister to me and frankly, I don’t ever want to see her hurt, and I kind of want to punch you right now.” He twists his neck in frustration that he can’t do just that.
“I’d like it if you didn’t,” I say honestly, hoping he won’t.
Liam assesses me for a minute and places his hand on my shoulder, which makes me flinch. “What the fuck, though, man? Nora is good people, why?” His hazel eyes burn into mine.
“I don’t fucking know. Like I said, I’m a fuck up. I fucked up. But I’m done using excuses. Help me. I want her more than anything.” Desperation clings to my words, but I’m being honest because I finally realise this is how it needs to be.
He stares at the ground for what feels like an age. When he looks up, his mouth is set in a thin line. “You want to work things out with her?”
“I do.”So much.
“My advice? And the only reason I’m giving it to you and not punching you right now is because I’ve never seen you hung up on anyone. But like I said—”
“If I hurt her again, I’m a dead man. Message received loud and clear, big guy.”
Liam nods. “So, my advice. Women like being bothered by us. We think about them nonstop, so why not let them know? Jess eats it up every time I text her telling her I’m thinking about her, especially in the mornings after I leave for work so maybe try that to start with.” Liam shrugs and I realise in that moment neither of us have a damn clue about women.
“Just text her?” I ask confused, feeling like this isn’t enough.
“Well, text her yeah, but let her know that you’re working on being better. Build her trust back in you.”
Build her trust back. That seems like something I can do. But I know I’ve got to work through some things too. I don’t want her to think that I’m just claiming her back and not listening to what she said. She was right. This is deeper than her. I have a fear of commitment that stems from my parents. But I want to be better, for her and for myself.
Liam points at me firmly. “But fuck up again and I will kill you and Jess will help me hide your body. M’kay pumpkin?” I’m slightly terrified by his wide, crazy smile right now.
“Did you just call me pumpkin?” I laugh, tossing him the rugby ball he threw at me.
“Go coach your team, dickhead.” He points out to the kids still running laps.
“Okay, pumpkin,” I retort, dodging yet another ball hurling my way while ideas begin to spill into my head.
I’m getting my girl back.
Chapter 31
Nora
Grayson:Nora, I know you asked for space, and I want to give you that. But I also want you to know that I will fight for you. There’s no excuse for my actions the other night so I’ll continue to tell you how sorry I am because it’s genuine. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to talk to me xx
This message is one of many. Grayson has been messaging me morning, noon, and night since last Friday. Sometimes, they’re long messages, other times it’s a simple, ‘Good morning, shorty,’ and my stupid, treacherous heart always leaps when I read that bloody nickname he gave me.
I’ve been a zombie, going through my usual daily routine. Work has been busy, thankfully, but it doesn’t stop the ache in my chest when I come home to an empty house. He’s everywhere; in my kitchen, my bed, sitting at the side of my bathtub. Today is my last office day for the week, and I’m just about ready to collapse into a heap of exhaustion. It’s been a hell of a week. After Jess and Zoey left me last Friday, I bolted the front door, and all but locked myself in my room with no sunlight, too much tequila and junk food, which wasn’t my best way to set up a busy work week.
As I step outside my front door and feel a crunch under my trainer. Looking down, I see a single white sweet pea and I know immediately who left it there. My heart squeezes and my pulse hammers at the thought of him being so close.
Leaning down to pick up the flower, I bring it to my nose and inhale the sweet, earthy scent. I want to text him, I want to call him, but I refuse. I can’t just give in because he’s the first man to get me flowers. Where are my morals if I do? Plus, I have a new plan, a plan to get over my man—asMonica Gellaronce said. Thankfully, I won’t be making millions of jars of jam though.
