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“Yes, well, the days of regular nymph manicures are in the past. Get over it.”
“Why can’t I redeem myself by working at something I’m good at?” Eros closed the Divine Dues app with a petulant swipe. “I could work at a matchmaking agency. Or, like bartend at a singles bar.” He scowled at his phone. “Although these stupiddatingapps are encroaching on my turf. It’s like people don’t evenneedme anymore.”
“Newsflash, Eros. We didn’t need you before.”
He looked up and his expression morphed from sullen to smug. “Oh really?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Valentine’s Day!”
“What?”
“I’mcelebrated. There aresongsabout me.” His face scrunched up. “Although they use that ridiculous Roman name. Cupid.Pfaugh. But it’s still me. Ongreeting cards.”
“Most of those greeting card pics are of a chubby naked baby with wings.”
He sniffed. “Artistic license.”
“Uh huh. Now seriously. Why are you here?”
“I told you. I need to pay my dues, likenow, and this?” He gestured to his T-shirt. “This is not gonna get me there before that bastard Hermes.” His perfect jaw firmed. “I should be doing what I’m best at. Helping people fall in love.”
“You didn’thelppeople. Youforcedthem.”
“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.”
“Not po-tay-to. Not po-tah-to. No spuds of any kind. You’re supposed to belearningfrom this, Eros.” Gany pointed at the phone. “If the only reason you’re trying to do good is because you want to beat somebody else to the finish line, then you’re missing the whole point.”
“I can do good and still be me.” Eros brightened and jerked his head toward the swinging door. “That guy out there, the one who was moping into his tea? I could make him a project. I bet he’d cheer up if he got a little nookie.”
“No,” Gany barked. “Absolutely not. You leave him alone completely. No manipulating humans.”And definitely no manipulating Finn.
Eros’s smile turned sly. “But if I didn’t manipulate ahuman—”
“If you manipulate his tea into his lap or a dog into his path or a… a… I don’t know,banana peelthat he slips on and falls into somebody’s arms, it still counts as interference. Eros, you’renot allowed.”
“Oh, come on, Gany. There are more dating apps than I can count. These mortals aredesperateto find love, and who better than me to help them? But if Iengage, I’ll move the boulder and leave Hestia in the dust!”
“Eros, don’t make me contact the Fates.”
“Come on, Gany,” he whined. “At this rate, Zeus will show up to take you home before I’m even halfway there.”
“Home?” Gany blinked at him. “Iamhome.”
“You mean here?” Eros glanced around the bakery, Gany’s pride and joy. “But… but you live on Olympus.”
“No. Iexistedon Olympus. Because I wasabducted. But here, I’mhome.” Gany shook a finger under Eros’s nose. “And if Zeus gets any bright ideas about carrying me off again, remind him that the Fates don’tcarethat he was the king. He can’t go back to the old ways. None of you can. Let us go, Eros. Give us our lives back and leave us alone.”
“You need us.” He waved his phone. “The apps don’t lie.”
“No, what we need is self-determination.”
“We’re gods,” he said, his tone bewildered. “Obviously we know what’s best for you.”
“Seriously?” Gany threw up his hands. “Consent is a thing. It’simportant. It’scritical, something you all need to understand.”
“But—”
“Did Zeusaskif I wanted to get hauled up to Olympus on the wings of an eagle to spend eternity bussing the gods’ table? No, he did not. Did HadesaskPersephone if she wanted to forsake the sun for half the year to play house with the dead? No, he did not. Did DaphneaskApollo to chase her through the woods until her father had the brilliant notion of turning her into a tree? No, she did not.” Gany narrowed his eyes. “As a matter of fact, that last one was your fault anyway. Another instance of the collateral damage of your petty godlet one-upmanship.”
Eros scrunched up his face. “Okay, that’s fair, I guess. I didn’t really think that one through, but Apollo totally deserved—”
