AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Right,rightat me.
And there is no anger in them. No distance either.
The rest of him looks like hell, though…like he’s been going through all the same things as Rae and I.
After several moments, he clears his throat a little, and I realize he’s probably just been missing her. I shouldn’t have waited so long to answer him about the dance. I know how much he cares about her; I’m sure he’s been going crazy wondering if I intended to stomp on their special night.
I step back from the door, not knowing what to say. I ultimately decide on nothing because he doesn’t speak, either, as he comes in.
After I lead him to Rae’s room, I nod for him to go in and wake her up.
He gives me a long look, still not angry, still not distant, and then leaves me in the hallway.
I don’t follow him. I don’t even stand in view of the two of them. I put my back to the wall outside her door, listen to him murmur, “Rae? It’s Landon. Wake up a minute, darlin’. Annie said I could come visit you.”
Hearing his voice has my vision blurring.
Hearing him say my name has me covering my mouth with both hands.
And hearing her gasp joyfully and then eagerly say, “Landon! Landon!” and then start crying…
…hearing him say, “Oh, angel,” with sudden thickness in his tone…
…hearing them say how much they missed each other…
…it all heals my heart and then breaks it again.
I dissolve into tears, too, mere feet from the two people I care most about in this world, because I feel like they’re on the other side of the worldfromme.
But at least they’re together.
I hurry into the kitchen, needing a bit of water and a lot less of Landon’s voice.
I don’t really think I deserve to hear it.
*
On Sunday morning, Rae’s footsteps lead her across the kitchen to where I’m sluggishly preparing cereal for us. Before I can try to determine her level of anger, her arms are around my legs.
It’s the first hug I’ve gotten in forever.
The stuff in my hands gets dropped unceremoniously onto the counter so I can kneel and hug her back as desperately as I dare to.
I haven’t cried so far this morning. I’ve just thought about how well her visit with Landon went—and how he still didn’t look frustrated with me as he left, although he remained silent, too. I’ve also been wondering if she’ll ever get over my stupidity or if I’ve left a permanent mark on her.
But when I burst out, “I love you,” my voice is weak like I’ve been on the verge of tears since I woke up. “I love you so much, Rae, and I’m so sorry—I’msosorry I messed everything up. I know Landon is so special to you and I’m sorry you went so long without seeing him.”
Her sweet voice meets my ears. “I love you, too, Annie. I’m sorry I said I hate you. Are you mad at me?”
That has me just bawling.
“No,” I sob. “N-no, baby. I’ll al-alwayshappilyloveyou. No matter w-what.”
Not wanting to unload all of my heartache on her, I pull myself together and end our hug so I can gently take hold of her arms.
“You are the most perfect thing in my life and I just wanted to keep you safe. I should’ve realized sooner that Landonhelpskeep you safe.” I hiccup. “I’m just so sorry, Rae. I wish I could go back and change what I said to make him stay away from us. I realized too late that I really, really don’t want him to stay away from us.”
She wipes at my cheeks with clumsy fingers. “Can I tell you a secret?”
