AllFreeNovel
Share Us
When he pivots around and strides off before we can, I remember he didn’t like being walked away from back at Quiet Springs. His woman follows, shooting us weak glares. I wave that bitch off and then tune in to the questions exploding from Landon’s friends, most of whom need a quick explanation of what just happened.
He obliges them, but after maybe five minutes, it’s decided that everyone is ready to head home.
Robbie, Tyler, Matt, and his wife hug Landon—and me, to my surprise—before they leave.
Bill and Shannon are going to take Rae home with them so she can have two nights’ worth of sleepovers with Abby before Christmas. Sweet as she is, she needs a break from our sad home, and the Kinleys want to give Landon and me some time alone to really relax and grieve without a kid around.
We all walk to the parking area so we can get Rae’s stuff.
“I love you,” I tell her as I give her a cozy hug in the chilly air. “We’ll call and check on you, okay? And we’ll see you on Christmas Eve.”
She isn’t scared to go have lots of fun with Abby, though. She’s been excited since Shannon mentioned the idea to me yesterday. “Okay. I love you, too. Will you call me before I go to sleep every night?”
“Of course.”
“Okay.” She kisses my cheek.
I kiss hers back, then kiss her forehead. “Have fun, but behave, too.”
“I will!”
After she exchanges hugs and goodbyes with Landon, she leaves with Bill and Shannon.
I reach up and comb at Landon’s hair with my fingers, then ask softly, “Want to go back over for a minute, or are you ready to leave?”
His weary grief is in place again. “I’d like to go back.”
I made sure to give him some time alone with Lolly both earlier today and at yesterday’s visitation, but I offer it to him again now. “Should I go with you or get the heater going in the car?”
I can see his eyes are already brimming with more tears, but he brushes my windblown hair back from my temples and then presses his cold lips tenderly to mine. “The heater sounds great, Liv. I won’t be long.”
In a weakened whisper, I encourage him, “Take your time.”
He kisses me again, then exhales shakily and starts heading back to Lolly’s final resting place.
I watch him go, my love and sadness for him pounding through me with so much breath-stealing power it’s like my heart is suddenly too big to fit in my chest.
Then I get in the car, turn on the heat, and cry to myself for everything that extraordinary man has been through.
|| 22 || Landon
I open my eyes to dim sunlight coming in through the bedroom window.
The apartment is silent except for my breathing and Liv’s; I roll onto my back, away from the window, and find her still sleeping peacefully beside me. I get comfortable facing her and just look at her while I wake up all the way.
I don’t know what I’d do without her.
That’s not me being romantic. That’s me being honest. I don’t knowwhatI’d be doing or what my mind would be like right now if she wasn’t in my life.
I’m not sure if she knows it or not, but she’s kept me going these last several days.
Every minute has been painful, but because she’s stayed beside me through all of them, they haven’t been unbearable. No matter how weak or upset or preoccupied I’ve been, she’s been right there with one hand on me and the other taking care of meals or chores or details or questions or whatever, anything,everything.
She hasn’t minded my crying, didn’t mind yesterday’s twenty-minute tirade after the funeral, even though IknowI got too loud—every foul thing I said about Quiet Springs and my dad was met with agreement, and so were my words of frustration about Lolly. I was deeply angry earlier this week, too, about her passing plus who she was when she went, and Liv was warm and steady then as well. Comfort, nods, hugs, her own words of frustration, support through the tears whether they were from anguish or from rage…that’s all she’s given me. No judgements, no exasperation, no requests that I calm down. She has just let me work through everything.
I didn’t sleep particularly well last night, but I slept better than I have since Sunday. Her unwavering solace plus my being able to say goodbye to Lolly have helped quiet the tempest that’s been tearing through me.
Looking at her now, warm with her in our bed in the utter silence, I feel closer to peace than I have since I got the call from Quiet Springs that day.
