Page 211 of Feels Like Forever


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“Ready?” he whispers.

I nod. “Yeah, I am. Are you?”

He nods, too. “Yeah.”

With that, we dive in.

“Rae?” I say, turning to look at where she’s still trying to choose a movie by the TV. “Can we talk to you for a minute?”

She looks at me, too, and nods, but worry touches her cute face. “Am I in trouble?” Her eyes flick to Landon, then back to me, and her bottom lip curls into her mouth.

“Not at all, darlin’,” he assures her. His hand on the small of my back guides me to the couch as he heads that way. “This is a good talk.”

Now she smiles. “Oh, agoodtalk!”

She comes over as he and I sit, and I ease her to stand in front of us. She tangles her hands together and looks at us with mild excitement, not knowing what this could be about.

As I study her, too, an ache spikes up my throat.

I remember again when she was the tiniest human I’d ever seen. Remember her being bundled up in a hospital blanket in my arms, not crying, just blinking up at me like she knew even then that she’d be safe with me.

Tears have come to my eyes, and I fight the urge to let them get the best of me.

Okay, Liv, breathe,I tell myself.Calm down. She’s waiting.

She’s waited long enough.

Landon’s hand on my thigh. A new breath in my lungs. Enough composure settling on me that I can ask her, “Do you know what adoption is, Rae?”

Her expression is now a mess of her former excitement, concerned confusion over my emotion, and deliberation of my question.

“Um….” After a few seconds, she shakes her head. “I don’t think so. But I think I’ve heard that word before.”

I nod, and in the corner of my eye, I see Landon doing the same as he says, “I’m sure you have.” His thumb strokes at my leg.

I knot my fingers with his, then reach my other hand out for her thin wrist. “Well, all kids have parents, right?”

As usual, the mention of such things brings a certain sadness to her eyes. “Yeah.”

I sniffle. “Okay. If those parents aren’t good to their kids…” I give her wrist a light squeeze, “…like your mama wasn’t good to you…then someone else can get permission to take care of them.”

Her eyes lighten a little. “Yeah, like us. You’re my aunt, but you take care of me because my mama is mean and scary.” More sadness now, though, at the thought of my sister, whoever her dad is, and how neither of them care about her.

My chest aches for her. “That’s right. I’ve taken care of you almost your whole life. And since Landon started living with us, he’s been taking care of you, too.”

She gives him one of her sweet smiles. I glance over and catch him returning it with equally sweet eyes.

“We both love you, Rae,” I say earnestly. “Do you know that? Landon and Ilove you.”

She nods, her eyes now sweet on me. “I know, Annie. You are both the very best and my most favorite and I love you, too.”

A couple of tears skip down my cheeks. I let go of Landon’s fingers so I can wipe at my face.

“You’re our most favorite, too,” I tell her in a tremble.

The look I exchange with him conveys that I need him now. He wraps his arm around me, breathes in, and turns his expressive gaze to Rae.

“Because we love you so much,” he says, voice gentle, “and because we do such a good job of taking care of you in your mom’s place, we can get a new kind of permission…” his next breath shakes, but his voice remains steady, “…forAnnieto be your mom andmeto be your dad.”

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