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She’s just having a little nightmare.
I brush her hair back from her face and whisper, “You’re okay, babe.”
Her mumbling stops after a moment, and I wait for several more to see if she needs me. But she has quieted back down, I think, so I leave the room. I listen while I turn off the hall light and head to the kitchen, but I hear nothing else from her.
I’d like to be in bed, too, I realize. I didn’t finish the laundry I was working on, though, and Landon is still here. I should send him on his way if he’s feeling better now.
I find him right where I left him. He’s staring into space while absently rubbing his throat, clearly lost in thought.
He snaps out of it when I come into his line of sight, and I prepare to ask how he’s doing.
Before I can, a concerned look is on his face and he’s saying, “Hey, is she okay? I have no idea what that noise she made was. I heard it again while you were in there and I still couldn’t figure it out.”
I can tell he’s honestly nervous that something might be wrong with her, so I assure him, “Yeah, she’s okay. Having a bad dream.”
His concern turns to sympathy. “Oh. Well, that’s no fun.” After a pause, he smiles and asks, “So she’s your niece? Is that what you said earlier?”
“Yeah.” I glance at the clock on the microwave.Ugh,10:30.
“You babysit her a lot, huh? I see you guys around all the time.” He laughs a little before he adds, “You know that, of course.”
I nod and then shake my head. “Yeah, of course we’ve seen you before. But, no, I don’t babysit her. I have guardianship of her.”
He stares at me for a few seconds, seeming surprised. “What? Really?”
I start to ask why I would joke about that, but he’s already talking again.
“That. Is.Awesome.”
I blink.
Enthusiasm illuminates his face, complete with a grin. He gestures at me and gives a heartier laugh than before. “Man! Did I or did I not tell you you’re the best?” Now he points in the direction of Rae’s room. “That little blonde girl—she’s yours? I mean, notyours-yours, but she lives with you? You have full responsibility of her?”
I blink again and nod. His delight confuses me. I mean, I love Rae forever and ever and I’m beyond thankful to have her, but…well, it’s not glamorous to be the sole provider for a small child. It’s a lot to have on my plate, and it would be even without her slight physical deformities and the problems we have with Kelle.
Yet Landonisdelighted. His smile is big and his eyes are sweet.
“Why do you have her?” he wants to know. “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking, I mean.”
Okay, no, we’re not going there. You need to leave. You can’t stay and chat, not even about Rae.
I don’t know how I can think that even as I prepare to answer him, but it’s happening.
I guess I just can’t help talking about my favorite person in the world.
“Her mom—my sister—is an alcoholic and a drug addict,” I explain. “She’s also addicted to foul men and selfish behavior. I got my niece when she was three, after I went to their house one day and found her home alone, screaming and crying in a dirty diaper.”
My throat tightens with the memory, causing my voice to soften.
“All she could say was that she was hungry and my sister was gone. As if that wasn’t bad enough, it all went straight to hell when Kelle didn’t pop up for two more days. We didn’t even figure out when she left in the first place.”
God, it still horrifies me to think about what could’ve happened to Rae if I hadn’t stopped by when I did. How long would it have taken someone else to discover her? What would she have looked like? She was already in poor shape when I got there. Would she have survived much longer?
I can barely stand to imagine it.
“Christ.” Landon looks heartbroken by the story.
He also looks for all the world like I’ve fascinated him.
