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“Sounds perfect.”
He was perfect. Life was perfect. And it seemed as if good things did happen after a lifetime of pain. I had found my happiness, and I truly believed that I deserved it.
10
THE BEAK
My reason for killing those men was simple: They abused and hurt their women, and I didn’t think they deserved to be alive. It wasn’t a reason many would understand, and everything I heard on TV and online about me made me look like a fucking maniac. I wasn’t. I cared about the women in my society. Maybe a little too much. Also, what the fuck was up with that name, The Beak? Couldn’t they have come up with something more creative? Shit, I didn’t really care. I wanted those women to live a life without suffering, and most of them did because of a fucking asshole who thought it was a good idea to let their anger out on the women they were supposed to love and support. But because they didn’t, I made sure to let them suffer too. They all died a slow death even though I was quick with the killing.
This all started when a woman I admired all my life had been treated badly. My stepfather used my mother as a punching bag and showed me just how cruel people could get. He didn’t care if we were watching. All he cared about was making sure we knew he was the boss in the house, and no one was allowed to correct him on his cruel behavior.
So, one night after he came home drunk, Iaccidentallyput rat poison into his drinks. Enough to kill him, of course, because who the fuck wanted to live with an alcoholic abusive motherfucker? Not me.
I knew exactly what I was doing back then. I was ten, and now at a ripe age of almost thirty, I didn’t know better than to stay away from killing people. I didn’t just do it for fun. I was cleaning up around me. Men like my stepfather bothered me like dust on my coffee table. It shouldn’t be there but it appeared over and over again.
I was a watcher, and from observing people, I quickly figured out which men were treating their women badly in this town. It wasn’t easy, but once I made my list, I went on a fun little spree. It ended about three weeks later, and the last woman I got out of her misery one was I had yet to get out of my mind. I knew she dreamed of me. I felt it. There was a connection between us no one could ever explain.
Hadley was a pure soul that got ruined by a person who never should’ve gotten the privilege to meet her in the first place. Hadley wouldn’t hurt a fly, yet she lived through hell. She deserved only the best in life, and I out of everyone would’ve never want to her to hurt anymore.
I was able to keep my identity hidden from the world and I would continue to. Mostly because I managed to not leave traces at the murder scenes, and also because the police couldn’t have given any fucks about abusers getting killed. I did all the work for them. Hell, if they did ever find me, they should thank me for it.
While I enjoyed my anonymity, Hadley was the one person I wanted to face. I knew she wouldn’t be scared. She hadn’t been scared that night I went to her apartment. The way she had looked at me said enough. She saw me as a hero, and though I made her see what I had done to her ex, I knew the gruesome scene only helped her understand that her suffering was finally over. So, the next thing I needed to do was tell her the truth and come clean, but before I got the chance to grab my mask and cape, Hadley was standing in the middle of the living room, holding the mask by the beak.
We stood there, frozen, staring at each other while every possible scenario played in my head. I had managed to hide that mask for months but ever since Hadley had moved in with me, I had to be careful where I stored it. We shared one closet, and the last time I was in there, I risked for her to find it by leaving itat the top shelf above our jackets and coats. After that, I thought about hiding it in my car, but that was too risky as well, and so I left it behind the books in my bookshelf which I thought she’d never touch. She wasn’t much of a reader, and my old Lord of the Rings copies weren’t items I thought she’d ever touch. Guess I was wrong.
I lifted my gaze from the mask to her face, watching her closely as her teary eyes searched for answers. She looked calm and collected, but she could’ve erupted with emotions and terror any second. I didn’t imagine this to be easy, but her not saying a word made it so much harder to explain why I hid this from her for so long. The other thing I was worried about was her trust in me. How could she keep on trusting me after finding out that I had killed Ricky? I did it for her.
“Baby,” I whispered, trying to find the right words to speak about this. But my brain wasn’t working right. I needed her to speak. I needed her to tell me what she was thinking. But I couldn’t let her leave. I needed her to stay and talk to me.
A single tear rolled down her face as she dropped her gaze to the mask again. Her bottom lip was trembling. She wasn’t scared. Not of me. Otherwise she wouldn’t have confronted me by standing there with the mask in hand. She would’ve run. But she wanted to understand.
When her eyes met mine again, I was finally ready to speak but I kept my mouth shut when she took a few steps toward me. I watched her come closer until she stood right in front of me. Inches away, with the mask still in her hands. I could hear her heartbeat racing in her chest. She looked defeated yet relieved, which gave me the slightest bit of hope that this would end well.
She studied the mask again, then she dropped it to the floor and surprised me completely as she threw herself against me. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and I stumbled back but steadied myself, and to make sure she wouldn’t change hermind and run, I put my arms around her waist and held her tightly. Hadley started crying, her sobs soft, and her tears falling onto my shirt.
She was overwhelmed and so was I but I kept holding her in my arms. I sat down on the couch with her, letting her curl up into my lap as she continued to cry, then she started to calm down after a few minutes. I pressed a kiss to her forehead, brushing back her hair to look at her face. “Let me explain,” I begged, but she shook her head. She wiped away her tears and moved off my lap to sit next to me. I grabbed her hand to keep her next to me, but she still had no intentions on running from me.
“No, I don’t want to hear your explanation.” Her words surprised me. I kept my eyes on her the whole time, trying my hardest to understand what was going on in her head. But maybe I didn’t have to figure it out. Maybe I had the answers right there in front of me already. She was still here. She wasn’t scared of me, and she wasn’t running either. She wanted to be here and she wouldn’t leave me.
“I…” A sob escaped her as her eyes finally met mine again. “I don’t know if this makes me a horrible person or not, but I don’t care if you killed him. Or anyone. I love you, and I know why you did it. I don’t know what made you do it, what pushed you so far to end someone’s life, but I know you did it for a reason.”
She understood, and while I had been the one who should’ve been begging for mercy, it sounded almost as if Hadley was asking for forgiveness. This whole situation was fucking messed up, but I was glad it wasn’t going to end our relationship. I had never loved a person so much, and I knew Hadley felt the same about me. I continued to listen to her, my eyes wide with wonder, and my heart so full it might’ve exploded in my chest.
“I just need you to promise me never to do it again, okay? It’ll be hard enough to act like you haven’t murdered people, but I will try. For you.”
There was a lot we both had to wrap our heads around. Both in different ways and for different reasons, but I was starting to understand that in Hadley’s eyes, I couldn’t do anything wrong. She loved and admired me, just like I loved and admired her. I had always treated her like a queen. Even when we weren’t together, I had kept my distance. It had been fucking hard knowing she was trapped in that apartment with a man who abused her, but I had to find the right time to go through with my plans. In the end, it worked out perfectly.
“Fuck, I don’t deserve you. But, baby, I have never cherished anything or anyone in my life as much as I cherish you, and I will continue to until I take my last breath.” I held her hands in mine, gripping them tightly. I wanted to hold her, but I needed for her to come to me again.
More tears streamed down her cheeks as her eyes searched for something in my face. She wanted me to say more.
“I promise I won’t ever put that mask on again. I promise I won’t ever kill again. I stopped when I ended Ricky’s life. Baby, I love you so fucking much. Just know I did it to protect you. To keep you safe. And I will continue to protect you forever. I love you. I love you! Fuck, baby, I love you!”
That’s when she fell into my arms again. She let me hold her, whispering over and over again that she loved me too. Our situation surely wasn’t easy to understand and I didn’t expect anyone to. Not that anyone would ever find out about what I did. All I knew was I had my girl and I would forever love her.
I caressed her hair, kissing her neck repeatedly, then I whispered, “I will burn that mask. Today.”
“No.” She moved back and looked at me, her eyes filled with determination as she shook her head.
I frowned. “But I thought…”
She moved closer, straddling my lap, and placing her hands on either side of my face. “Don’t burn it.”
I needed a moment to realize why she wanted me to keep the mask. Her eyes said it all. Hell, I had her naked the night of Ricky’s murder, and she had touched my dick. She made me fucking hard even with that damn mask on, and now she was asking me to keep it because it fucking turned her on.
I stared at her, admiring her. Fuck, she was incredible. I couldn’t help myself. I grabbed her face and claimed her mouth to kiss her deeply. My sweet Hadley wasn’t as pure after all. There was a dark side about her which she only let The Beak see, and now, she showed it to me too.
I knew then that our love was eternal, and with this desire of hers, we both could play out our deepest and darkest fantasies. The Beak, the serial killer, would stay alive but only in the secret of our bedroom.
Or maybe not…
