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With my heart racing, I’m overcome with a fervor I don’t understand, and my arms have begun to shake as I hold myself up. I have to force myself to remember to be gentle, when gentle is the last thing I want to be. I want to devour this girl and drink her in until we become one.
Licking her bottom lip, a groan escapes me at the fullness and flavor of her. Needing more, I sink my tongue into the deep recesses of her mouth and savor what has to be the best damn thing I have ever tasted in my entire life.
I knew kissing her would be something else, but I never imagined this. Damn, it’s perfect.She’sperfect.
MY MIND, MY body, and my heart are all at war with each other as I feel the magnetic pull between us. My mind is saying, “If you do this, he’s going to touch you. Are you ready for the reaction this might cause?” My body is saying, “If you don’t do this, I will hate you forever,” as it’s vibrating for him. And my heart is saying, “If you do this, there’s no going back. He will mark you indefinitely.” But as he stares down into my eyes and the battle plays out, the voices quiet, and I feel the body winning.
I had wondered if he would kiss me before I left for home. A girl would have to be blind not to see some of the glances that he’s given me, not that they were suggestive in any way, but the attraction was evident. Had I been someone else—say, someone like Cora—I might have even initiated it, but there’s no way I could have. It’s just not in me, even though I’ve thought about it endlessly.
Ash’s eyes are penetrating mine, and as he leans in closer to me, an invisible weight pushes me flatter onto the blanket. I swear I’m not trying to move away from him, I’m certain I want this just as much as he does, but it’s been so long. Doubt creeps in and mixes with the butterflies. The muscles around his eyes tighten, and his eyes move away from mine and search my face. What does he see when he looks at me? Can he see the apprehension? Does he think it’s just nerves? What if I’m not any good at kissing and he’s disappointed? My heart is racing, and I will it to calm. I don’t want to ruin this moment.
Time suspends between the two of us as he thinks this through. Looking up into his handsome face, I memorize every detail from the curve of his jawline to the length of his eyelashes—which are so long and dark they brush the top of his cheeks when he blinks. I want to remember everything, and I see in his eyes the moment he makes the decision. It’s like there were greyish blue clouds lingering and instantly they’ve cleared, leaving them as blue as the afternoon sky. His eyes flicker from mine to my mouth, he licks his lips, and that’s it.
No more time wasted.
My hand, which is tangled in the back of his shirt, pulls as he moves. I’m not even sure which hits me first, the heat from his breath or the heat from his lips. Not that it matters, I welcome them both, and flames race throughout my entire body as his lips press to mine.
Oh my God.
His lips . . .
On mine.
I’ve died and gone to heaven. Every bit of nerves evaporates and in their wake, a sense of rightness settles in that I haven’t felt in a long time. A sigh escapes me and my bottom lip falls between his.
His lips . . .
Feel like everything.
They are warm, full, and right this second . . . mine.
He runs his tongue over my bottom lip, tasting me, and coaxing my lips further apart. I groan into his mouth at the sensation and his breath mixes with mine. I want him to deepen this kiss. I want to lose myself in him and drown in a passion that’s so absolute it makes my insides tighten and leaves me sweltering for more. I want this with him—no, I need this with him—because it has tobehim. These feelings areonlyfor him, and I’ve never wanted it more.
Sliding my hand around his back, I pull him tighter against me, and his chest brushes against mine. He pauses for just a second to catch his breath and the sound of his breathing combined with the beat of my heart hits my ears. The cadence of the two together creates the perfect harmony. It’s sexy and intimate, causing the heat from the flames to radiate off my skin. It’s a sound I never want to forget, and knowing what’s coming next, my eyes squeeze tighter in anticipation . . . then he gives us what we both so desperately want. He claims me completely.
Shock charges surge through my heart as his tongue caresses mine. In and around, he takes what he wants, giving me something so beautiful in return tears burn in the back of my eyes. He’s gentle, but commanding, and there’s a hunger lingering just beneath the surface that’s just begging to be let free. I desperately want him to set it free, but I know he won’t. Instead, his lips, his tongue, and his breath all tangle with mine and in the most delicious way.
He tastes like apple from the cider we were drinking earlier, and fall. Why he tastes like fall, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I now associate this time of year with him, or maybe it’s that his mouth is warm while cool air hits my skin. Either way he tastes like fall, which has instantly become my favorite season, and it tastes so good.
Surrendering myself over to him, he explores my mouth with such devotion, he’s stealing a piece of my heart and he doesn’t even know it. This kiss is beyond amazing and clarity sinks in as I realize I haveneverbeen kissed before. Yes, I know that Chris is the only person I’ve kissed so my experience is limited, but it never occurred to me how completely different it can be from one person to the next.
Kisses like this can’t be normal, right? Then again, movies, books, songs, and poems have all been written about longing for and experiencing the perfect kiss, and I know without a doubt I’m having mine. This kiss is going to devastate me and revive me all at the same time.
Pulling back, he rests his forehead against mine and takes in a few breaths, each one falling across my face as he exhales.
“Wow,” he murmurs, his eyes still closed.
Breezes from the tree blow over us, and I hear laughter in the distance. My heart slows as we both lie here, neither moving, just breathing each other in.
“It’s been so long since I’ve been kissed,” I whisper into his mouth.
His ocean blue eyes open and find mine. Silence stretches between us as he searches for answers. He knows asking questions will break the rules, and I hope he does break them. I think I’m ready to tell him more. He shifts his weight so he’s lying on his side, and he props his head up on his hand.
“How long?” His other hand moves to cup my face and his thumb runs over my cheekbone. The move is tender, affectionate, and my skin burns from his touch.
“Seven years,” I mutter, a blush warming my cheeks.
His eyes widen in shock. “How is that possible? You’re the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” He shakes his head in confusion.
