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“What literature are you looking for today?”
Another wave of nausea rocks me, leaving Essos in charge of answering. “We’re seeking information about the creation of the Underworld.”
“I presume you don’t mean your layers of the Afterlife?”
“You would presume correctly. I want information dating back to the first souls to ever be sent there, and I want information regarding its formation.”
“Much of what you’re seeking will be contained in books about the God and Goddess Supreme, and we do not have many of those here. Your family home likely has most of them.”
I lift my head to look at Essos, then glance at Gisella. “I take it you don’t mean our home—you mean Essos’s childhood home?”
His childhood home, if you can even call it that, is the one that Xavier and Posey lived in together. That is, until she held a coup and kicked him out. Feeling just a little better, I sink into the large comfy reading chair in the corner.
“That would be correct. You can also ask Sybil or Estelle if either of them can answer your questions.”
I rub my stomach as I sip the ginger drink. Another great source of information would be the Goddess Supreme herself, but she’s made it clear she’ll help for one reason and one reason only, so she’s not an option. Thinking of her brings the conversation Essos and I have to have regarding the gates to the forefront of my mind.
Essos’s head snaps in my direction, like he’s gone down the same thought path as me. A plate of plain toast and a bowl of smashed avocado appear in front of me, and my husband sets to making me avocado toast. He could have just conjured it that way, but I think he likes being able to take care of me and needs something to keep his hands busy.
“We appreciate your assistance, Gisella,” Essos says, effectively dismissing her. She takes the hint and slips from the room.
I enjoy the silence briefly, thinking about Posey and all that she had to say in Zara’s hometown.
“You know why the dead won’t stay in the Underworld?” Essos asks, drawing my attention back to him.
“Yeah, actually I forgot about it, but your mom told me while we were in that cavern. She said that the gates to the Underworld were closed.”
“Closed,” Essos echoes to himself quietly.
“Closed. I would assumed it was more like they were open, and the souls were free to leave.”
Essos has stopped what he’s doing as he goes over the information in his mind. I can see his eyes darting back and forth like he’s reading a book. “This gives us a great jumping-off point. Now we know where to start in these books.”
I hum my confirmation before letting my mind wander back to where it was before thoughts of his mother came up. “Do you ever think Posey created a self-fulfilling prophecy? Or really, the opposite?”
Essos finishes preparing the food before dropping into his own chair, the full weight of his attention on me. “Explain, my love.”
“Like, she did all this, made us puppets meant to dance to her tune so she could be the biggest baddie on the block, only, the prince she manipulated into marrying her rejected her every time he could. They never seemed well-suited, but it all happened so fast, we just went with it. Xavier was never faithful and never wanted any of the responsibility of being King of the Gods. It got me wondering how much our lives—ourdestinies—happen because of the Fates or fate itself. Posey made comments about choosing the wrong brother, and I just wonder… If she had chosen you, would we have found our way to one another at some point anyway?”
“Of course, we would have. You’re my whole heart. There is only ever you.”
I cup his cheek with one hand. “You’re sweet. Truly. But what I mean is, what if she did to us what she did to Cat and Xavier?”
“She didn’t, and maybe that’s been part of their problem. Posey was never meant to be with Xavier. He was supposed to be with Cat. Posey might be a Fate, but she isn’t an absolute power. We still have a level of free will. If we didn’t, I doubt there’s anything I could have done to not wind up with her, if that’s what she wanted. Which I guess brings us back to your earlier point.”
“That’s correct,” I agree, munching gladly as my stomach settles.
“I don’t know if we have any way of knowing, but I for one am very proud of Xavier for taking charge just now.”
I set my plate aside and interlock my fingers with Essos’s. “Are you okay?”
His lips tug down at the corners. “No. I’m not okay about what I did. I don’t ever want to be in a situation where I have to do that again.” He stares into the distance. “I could feel each soul. Their thoughts, their dreams, who they wanted to be. But the worst part was that they knew to an extent what was happening. They knew that they were hurting people, and they had no way of stopping it. They wanted their torture to end, but I just…it feels wrong to have taken everything from them so thoroughly. We need a plan for after we fix the Underworld and bring these broken souls back where they belong, because they know what’s happening, and they’ll remember, and that’s not fair to any of them.”
I release his hand and climb onto his lap. He welcomes me and buries his head in the crook of my neck.
“Maybe we can do something once we get the souls back to the underworld, like how Helene and Kai are wiping the memories of the humans who saw us today. I know it’s easy for them to do it to mortals on such a small scale, but souls are different. I would think once they’re part of the Underworld, their minds are not as easy to manipulate the way mortals are.” It’s a general suggestion, and I’m not sure where I’m going with it.
“We would need to come up with a broader-scale distribution system then going house-to-house. That would take too long. There’ll be too many souls affected.”
