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Cat looks down at the pit bull at her feet. “What do you think? Is that bed big enough for all of us?”
Shadow takes this as her command and sprints to the bed, trying to secure a suitable spot. She’s mindful of not stepping on me as she clamors over to lick my face. Dave lets out a plaintive howl that Shadow echoes. I have no doubt they’re missing their brother.
“So, Essos has you on babysitting duty now?” I sit up in bed as she climbs into Essos’s spot. I summon two breakfast trays for us, but mine is sparse; I don’t have much of an appetite. I can’t decide if that’s the pregnancy, or if it’s nerves. This time, the baby doesn’t fight me on the food. There’s a pomegranate and some blessedly plain toast on my plate.
“He mentioned to me he wasn’t going to be around and thought maybe we could use the time to talk.” Cat lifts a few pieces of bacon and drops them on my plate. I fight my scowl but lift a piece of toast and take a bite.
“I thought I was giving you space?” I point out. Cat takes a big bite of sausage while she mulls over how to answer me.
“You were giving me space, but I’m pretty tired of the space, especially since Xavier is also staying in the house while Essos is away. I miss my best friend too much for all this space.”
“Was there an email that I missed?”
“It was actually on the news last night, a breaking-news special report.” She grants me a smile.
“I missed you too,” I confess. “But I am a capable adult. Everyone doesn’t have to baby me.” I mull it over. “I would actually prefer that you all didn’t baby me.”
Cat bumps me with her shoulder. “I’m sure you wish that, but it’s simply not happening, so it’s time to put on your big girl panties. Finn’s taking me out for some training with my powers.”
“Why? Want to see if you can get him pregnant too?” I snark before biting my toast.
Cat scowls and lifts a pillow from a chair across the room, then tries to hit me with it. She’s getting better at control, but since I can see it coming, it explodes into petals around us.
I don’t expect how exhausted that one move makes me feel. I was warned that my pregnancy would use more and more of my energy as it went on, that my body is working itself to protect the baby without my needing to direct energy to it. It’s still worlds better than when I found out Ellie was trying to bind my powers. Another plot that Posey was probably behind.
“You’re getting better!” I exclaim, squeezing her hand. Cat looks sheepish and gives a halfhearted shrug.
“I have been practicing. Honestly, though, Rafferty did help. Having him box up my past life memories or whatever has helped me keep a clear head.”
“Good,” I tell her.
“Was he able to get your memories back?”
“No. I’m going to get dressed so we can go make things explode.” My lost memories are something else I haven’t let myself think about. I like to think Rafferty would have helped me if he could have, but I can’t—no, Iwon’t—let him dig through my mind at his leisure. I’ll make do.
I nudge Dave out of the bed so I can get changed. No use showering if I’m just going to work up a sweat. I pull my hair into a high ponytail and put on comfortable loungewear, which I notice is getting a little tight around the middle. Even my shirt is tight around my belly, so I grab one from Essos’s drawer instead. Before I emerge from our dressing room, I take a moment to admire the swell of my belly. Until now, I’ve tried not to look too closely at it. That kernel of fear has always stuck with me. Looking at it now makes it feel very real.
Cat grins at me from the bed before rising and looping her arm with mine. “So, why can’t he help you?”
I lead us from the room, not able to look her in the eye as I explain. “Because like all things Posey does, she didn’t block my memories right. I probably wasn’t even supposed to remember what I did during the Calling. Anyway, Rafferty said he can only do something about it by digging around in my brain and targeting specific memories. I said no thanks.”
“Why do you think he could work his magic on me?”
“Probably because it was an actual block. When Posey pulled you from the tapestry, she didn’t remove your memories, she just made it so you didn’t exist to begin with. Rafferty just blocked what was there from your past lives.”
“I don’t get it. The whole thing is a disaster all around.”
“A Posey specialty.” I hold her gaze. “This conversation about memories is all fine and good, but you know you’re going to have to talk to me about Xavier sometime soon. And how you feel about the fact that you were supposed to be Queen of the Gods.”
Cat’s steps falter. “What is with that? Why is it just Queen of the Gods? Why isn’t Queen of GodsandGoddesses? Seems sexist.”
“Queen of the Pantheon?” I offer.
Cat pauses like she’s mulling it over. “I can support that.”
I chuckle, feeling light for the first time in months. Just the sensation of the warmth of the sun on my face gives me a dose of energy I didn’t realize I needed.
Finn is ahead of us on the beach, pulling weapons from thin air the way Galen pulled the blade that he ran through Cat’s heart.
