AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I hate to spoil the ending, but we’ve already passed that part of the book. We’re at the part where the hero and the heroine defeat the bad guy and live happily ever after, and you can’t tell me otherwise.”
“Bringing back the villain of our story doesn’t feel like we’re entering the happily ever after part.”
Essos draws me toward the bench I sit on when putting on my shoes. He sits first and pulls me onto his lap. “Can I tell you something?”
“Anything,” I swear to him, twisting so I can look him in the face.
“I’m trying really hard to be as brave as humanly possible for you, but I’m terrified of everything that’s going to happen next.” I open my mouth to cut him off, but he silences me with a quick kiss. “I’m terrified, but I’ll be damned if I let anything happen. I’m trying to anticipate every move Posey’s going to make, and I don’t think she expects you to actually go through with letting Galen come back. I think she underestimates your strength, and she will expect you to be too traumatized to do it. I think you’re going to prove her so wrong, she’s not going to know what to do with herself.
“I want to show you something that I hope will help you with the coming days.”
His hands touch my temples, and he closes his eyes, instructing me to do the same. I comply, my eyes drifting shut.
I’m looking downat myself…and that’s when I realize what Essos is doing. This memory is his, from shortly after we moved back into this house. It’s been a few days since I killed Galen, and I’ve been restless when sleeping. I can feel Essos’s feelings, and the impact the past few days have had on him. I can hear his thoughts, so I quiet my own and just listen.
My thrashing in bed has stilled, and my face looks serene in sleep, the worry lines that started to form between my brows smoothed away. Essos’s hand reaches out and his thumb gently rubs the tense spot between my eyebrows the way I’ve done for him. I let out a contended sigh, my body giving the illusion of sinking deeper into the bed. Flowers bloom along the headboard, an indication of my mood. He’s watched them shrivel at night, a physical manifestation grown from my nightmares. Essos has seen wolfsbane grow and for a brief moment, a corpse flower bloom, its scent so strong, he woke immediately. That night it was more difficult to chase the bad thoughts away.
It’s comforting to see that my mind can ‘find such beautiful things, like the tiny plumeria that dot the bedposts. It’s a testament to my strength that I’m able to keep going. When all was bleak and he lost me, it was months before he was able to get out of bed, before Helene had to stop actually spoon-feeding him just to force him to eat. My own mind clings in sorrow to this thought of his and how miserable he was before, and there is nothing and was nothing that I could do to alleviate that pain.
His head dips closer to mine, and he breathes in deeply, the scent of magnolias and clementines fresh and clean and romantically sweet. He banned the flower and the fruit while I was gone; the scent of it was overwhelming and undid all the progress that Helene and Finn were able to manage.
Now, though, he yearns to smell it. Even just a whiff of it settles Essos in a way that he never expected to feel again. It’s a reminder that his wife and his life are back the way they’re supposed to be. Mostly, anyway.
He wonders how he got so lucky to be on the receiving end of a smile, even in my sleep. I can feel a small amount of self-hatred that I’ve repeatedly been in danger, that my life has been lost or at risk, so, selfishly, he wants to enjoy this time and not share me, even if it means earning my ire or that of anyone else.
I snuggle closer to him, one hand falling to my stomach protectively. Essos wonders if I’m dreaming of the baby, or if it was an unconscious move for comfort and he’s reading too closely into something that isn’t there. What does matter is how our lives are growing and his determination to protect us, regardless of the cost. He failed once. He won’t fail again.
My breathing changes, and I start to wake up. I can feel his lips tugging wide, smiling at the knowledge that I belong with him and that I am right where I need to be. He’s lucky that he gets these moments, waking before me so he can admire everything that we have together without the outside world invading his thoughts.
My eyes blink furiously,and then I’m looking into the eyes of my husband. Those blue eyes are full of that same love and awe I’ve seen from him before, but now I understand. There is something magical about being able to see myself through his eyes. I wasn’t something that needed to be protected. He sees a strength in me that I’ve never seen in myself.
“Why did you show me that?” My voice cracks.
“Because I think you’re forgetting again how strong you are. You keep having these amazon moments where you conquer the world, and you’ll cut down anyone who tries to take what we have. But then your fear digs its claws in and drags you down. I don’t blame you for that.”
There isn’t anything I can say back that will change anything at all, so I wrap my arms around him. His firm body softens around mine as if trying to absorb my burden, all of my stress, like, if he could let himself soften enough, he could allow his body to enfold me entirely.
“I think we should get married. I think there are a lot of feelings here between us and I think we have a solid foundation for exactly that–an amazing marriage,” I tell him through choked tears. My words are muffled by his shirt, but he just threads his fingers into my hair and keeps my head close to him, where I can listen to the beat of his heart.
“I think that’s a great idea. Are you free this afternoon?”
My heart is beating in time with his, but I pull away to meet his gaze. “Today is looking good.”
“Then what do you think, love? Should we go do this?”
My anxiety was so high that I didn’t even realize Essos was already in his tuxedo, complete with tails. He offered to get this dressed up for our first wedding, but I’d told him the more casual the better—Octavia had already taken charge and made it into something I didn’t want it to be.
My husband takes me in, seeing what is left to do. My hair is still untouched and my makeup isn’t done. I twist two clumps of waves back and away from my face so my hair otherwise hangs free. No makeup for today.
Essos gets up. Once he has my shoes in his hand, he tugs his pants at the thighs and drops into a squat before me. He helps slide my heels on, probably the last time I’ll be wearing them, if I have anything to say about it. They’re almost like glass slippers, formed from a clear shell with diamonds all along it. His fingers deftly snap the closures around my ankles.
He rises and holds his hands out to me, and I take them, knowing that he has always been the best decision I could make. Essos keeps hold of one hand as we walk downstairs to where everyone is waiting for us.
I don’t know where Cat planned for the ceremony to be held, but Essos must, because he leads me outside to my gardens. I had wanted our first wedding to be in a garden, among my plants, but I was overridden. The urge to jump Essos for this, for making sure my actual wants and desires were seen to, is strong.
“When did you do this?” I ask him, squeezing his hand.
“Cat asked me yesterday where you would want the ceremony to be held and what you really wanted for the wedding. She said you were rather distracted when she attempted to plan while I was gone.”
