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“I’m still waiting for you to explain why you can’t help me, and frankly, I’m getting tired of not having an answer.”
“I am the God of Memory. I can access memories and block them, and I can erase them entirely. What Posey did to you was a bastardization of my power, which means that I cannot remove the block she set in place for you. That’s what happens when someone tangles with powers that are not their own.”
“So, how did you do what you just did, and how was Posey able to use your powers?” Essos asks.
Rafferty snorts, then looks sheepish. “I can do it because I know that the memory exists. I pulled it from where it was hidden in Daphne’s mind. I don’t know all her memories, so I can’t mine them all.”
I shift and press harder against Essos, needing his strength. I never thought that my memories would stay gone. There was always the chance I would get them back. I had counted on that, to a certain extent. I feel bereft, thinking of all the things that I’ll never know are gone. Memories of heartbreak and loss, but also good ones, with Helene and Kai and Finn. Sweet moments with Essos.
“How have I been getting them back now?”
“Like I said, what Posey did was a sorry excuse for what I usually do. What do you know of Posey the Fate?”
Nothing. We know nothing of Posey the Fate, or even much about the role the Fates play. They used to be this entity we believed in, but after Galen’s Trials, we discovered that Posey had cloaked all three Fates and made it so no one remembered they were actual people we interacted with. During my failed wedding to Galen, Sybil and Estelle were revealed as their true selves—Fates.
Essos and I share a look and shake our heads, expecting Rafferty to continue, but it’s Luminara who steps forward and speaks.
“The sisters three, one to spin, one to measure, and one to cut. It was Sybil who would spin, Estelle who would measure their lives, and Posey who would cut the thread of life.”
Rafferty looks at us expectantly. “Right,QueenPosey, because that’s what she still is, unlike someone else.” Essos growls at Rafferty when he says this. “The queen hated the tedium of cutting and cutting, so she tried her hand at her sisters’ roles like she was Goldilocks, practicing each of their powers bit by bit, such as Sybil’s ability to provide a blank slate to each soul, including those meant for reincarnation. That was never meant to be her power. It got corrupted when she used it.”
“Corrupted.” The word tastes foul as I say it.
“Yes. That’s probably why your memories were so easily manipulated and why you’ve been able to tap into them a little at a time. From the rumors I’ve heard, the night you chose your ‘husband’s’—” Rafferty uses finger quotes here, and I want to break every last one of his digits “—brother, you received a rush of memories during the ball, my guess because Posey wanted you to get something, just enough of a taste to torment you further. It’s been a trickle since. Like I said, though, that’s not supposed to be within her power. I can’t explain it, other than to say that maybe there is something to the fairytales and true love’s kiss. But I’m sorry, kids, I can’t help you. If that’s all…” He turns toward the door.
He’s just pulling it open when it slams shut, vines wrapping around the knobs to hold it fast.
“We’re not through. Follow me.”
CHAPTER3
Ienter the library alone first, as I insisted I must, and pull the doors closed behind me. My last glimpse is of Essos, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, trying to look nonchalant as he watches me shut him out.
“You could have let him in. I don’t bite,” Cat calls from a window bench. I can barely see her through the stacks and stacks of books that surround her.
“I know. I wanted to see you first. Am I allowed to want some one-on-one time with my bestie?”
Her green eyes flick up to me as I approach her. I drop into the seat across from her, trying to bury the memory of Galen and me in these exact same seats as he spun a web of lies and deceit that led me away from my husband.
“No, because you’re not alone.” She’s wearing a gauzy red dress with a high chiffon neck. I can’t place what’s different about her—maybe her cheekbones are a little sharper, her eyes a little brighter. She has a more ethereal look.
“Rafferty is here to help you,” I tell Cat as gently as I can.
Cat snaps the heavy tome in her hands shut and finally looks up at me. I can see the streaks of energy from her magic etched along the floor around her. She’s still adjusting, still trying to figure out what she can do and how it works. When I got my magic back, using it was a matter of flexing old muscles. I was in touch with the parts of myself that summoned flowers, that brought them to life and killed them. I knew each thing that was unique to me, but magic is all new to Cat, and she doesn’t have any of that.
“Is that why he’s here?” Her sarcasm might actually burn me.
“Cat, I just want what’s best—”
“If you finish that sentence, Daphne, I swear I don’t know that I’ll be able to control what I do.” Tears brim in her eyes. My scrutiny must prove too much for her, because she pushes out of her seat and walks toward a broken vase.
“How can I help you?”
“You can leave me alone.”
“That’s not happening, so pick a different option. I left you alone plenty over the last few days, and it’s gotten us both nowhere.” I get up and stand beside her at the table. The vase was ugly, probably a gift shoved in here to be forgotten. I’ve tried to give her space to navigate becoming a goddess. I didn’t want to, but it was the only thing she asked me for, so who was I to refuse?
Standing in this room now, I’m realizing that I did the wrong thing. I should have pushed to stay involved more. She didn’t need space; she needed a friend. She pushed back when I demanded space; now it’s time to repay the favor.
