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Essos eyes her warily, his blue eyes narrowed. “Do you have something to add, Mother?” He lowers his fork and knife.
“Is my opinion being requested, now?” she asks, acting put out as she sips her tea with a pinky raised.
I open my mouth to ask if she needs an implicit invitation on letterhead, but Essos covers my hand with his, shooting me a look to be silent. I narrow my eyes.
“Gods, yes, Mother, that is what Essos is asking. Are you trying to make Daphne turn you into a plant?” Helene snaps.
“No need to be rude. My opinion wasn’t welcome yesterday, but today it is. I’m just making sure I understand when it is and isn’t acceptable.”
“Mother,” Xavier warns, looking at her.
“My point was just that your hopes mean nothing to the people who are suffering now because of Posey. Neighbors are turning on neighbors, and there is rampant fear. People are losing their businesses. Without a real plan for how to fix this, you’re going to be in much the same position as you were, disappointing the people who depend on you. The status quo was survivable before because that was just how things were, but for the few short weeks before Posey took things to such extremes, people had hope. Hope that they would be given a voice in how things were run.”
“What would you know of it, Octavia? You were never here,” Finn points out.
“I know that your little programs to help people start small businesses and pave roads were meager in the face of what people wanted—a government that would answer to them and rulers who did more than fuck all day.”
I slouch in my seat, looking at Octavia, hating that she’s right. “So, we have another thing we need to figure out, on top of overthrowing a tyrant Fate, installing a new Fate in her place, opening the gates to the Underworld, summoning the souls back to the Afterlife, shutting the veil between realms, and bringing my murderer back to life. But sure, let’s add developing a new form of government for our people.” I can’t stop the hysterical laughter that bubbles out of my throat.
“One thing at a time, my love,” Essos murmurs, kissing my temple.
“Besides, you forgot that we have to get the dagger and scepter back,” Finn adds. I can see the glint in his eyes—he wants to go for it. I can only hope that after we open the gates to the Underworld, I’ll be able to talk him out of the idea. Both he and my husband are obsessed with their desire to get this threat eliminated. Theyneeda cooler head to prevail.
I am not the only one that glares at him. Sybil, Estelle, and Zara drift into the room, all looking somber. Their usually bright tunics seem dull for the day, and I know that everyone is worried about what we’re about to do.
“We’re ready whenever you want to begin,” Zara tells me, and my whole body goes still. I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for what is being asked of me, but what ruler ever is? What ruler walks into every situation knowing what they’re supposed to do, and then going about it? A fake one; one that is posturing.
I rise, knowing that this is what I have to do.
The men all shoot to their feet when I get up and I want to hug them for it. People can say what they will about these gods, but I know they have my back. Essos literally touches my back, glancing at my plate, which I did a decent job of finishing. I feel like a child whose parents are checking to see if I’ve finished my peas before I can go play. Except this is eggs, and it’s not for playtime, it’s so I can nearly die and hope I don’t take my child with me.
“Only if you’re ready,” Essos whispers to me and only me.
I gaze into his blue eyes, wishing I could read his mind. “Let’s just get this over with, shall we?” I slide my fingers into his and lead our group to the stairs I took so long ago, most recently to adjudicate with Essos during the Calling, and to hear Steve’s case for why he should get a second chance with Tiffany. There has been some good and some bad in that room, and I don’t expect this will be any different.
I let Essos guide me with my hand in his, and we take the thin spiral stairs together. I try to take a deep, calming breath, slowly pushing it out, but I can’t find it in me to get the sort of depth that might help.
When we step into the room, I stall. I haven’t been down here since Steve came from the mortal realm with his guitar to plead for Tiffany’s soul. It looks very much the same as it did then, dark and cavernous. Once, I tried to breathe a little life into the room with flowers and vines, but nothing can live in this darkness.
Above us hangs a heavy metal chandelier. It’s all black with hundreds of candles dripping wax that never makes it to the ground. Directly underneath it is a circle of black and red wax candles. If I didn’t already feel like a human sacrifice, this would certainly seal the deal. My steps falter, and Essos waits for me to go forward again. Knowing everyone is at my back, I have to do it. I have to get this over with.
The makeshift altar has a book spread in front of it with a curved dagger waiting.
“What do you need us to do?” I ask, forcing a brick wall of strength into my words.
“Both of you need to move into the center of the circle.” Zara’s voice shakes as she instructs us. She brushes past me to look at the book again, ready to pour over the words, to make this perfect and precise. I have absolute faith in her and her ability to pull this off.
I notice two large gold bowls set on the outskirts of the circle, no doubt meant to catch our falling blood. I nearly choke on my own breath, unable to force one foot in front of the other. Essos patiently waits for me while our friends move to stand by the walls of the room. Only Zara, Sybil, and Estelle are gathered near the altar, with Octavia hovering close.
Cat is beside Xavier, and I notice her slip her hand into his. Good. He’ll be there to anchor her, because I have no doubt that this will be hard to watch.
I recognize the blade as the one that holds Galen’s soul in it. I wonder if Octavia can feel the presence of her favorite child’s soul in the room. Sybil shoots me an apologetic look as they handle it with the utmost care.
“No one but them can step inside the circle,” Estelle warns, giving pointed looks to Finn and Callie. She knows, of course, about Callie’s promise to act as a healer. I can only hope that Xavier and Callie, along with Octavia, will be enough to keep the small fragile heart in my womb beating.
My hands cradle my stomach, and Essos’s hand follows mine, pressing against the swell. The baby hasn’t quickened yet. I was told I should start feeling movement any day now, but I know they’re there, waiting. I just hope they’re strong enough to survive.
I take one, and then two steps forward, crossing the barrier of the circle. Essos follows me into the space. Sybil joins us in the circle; apparently, Estelle’s warning doesn’t apply to them.
