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She glares at me. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“I’m sorry, but honestly, I think I did more damage to Galen this morning than he did to me.”
“That’s not what I meant. Having to watch you bleed out was scary as fuck. Every time I think I have a handle on being a goddess, something like you dying happens.”
“Or you falling into a power rage that only Xavier can snap you out of?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she grumbles, but I get the feeling that, if I sit in silence, she’ll spill like a waterfall.
“Okay, but I think thereissomething you want to talk about.” I lean toward her, one eyebrow raised.
Cat turns scarlet. “I mean, you didn’t miss much. There was a lot of fussing over Finn and you and Essos, and I gave Xavier a blow job, and Kai has taken over my training since Finn isn’t up to it anymore, and Callie offered to help show me the ways of healing, and—”
“I’m sorry, way to try to bury the lead. You did what now with Xavier?” I conjure us drinks, hugging my tea close to my chest.
“Don’t you want to talk about my powers? Helene told me I better get control over the fertility part of my powers before she and Kai get pregnant again.”
“If you really don’t want to talk about Xavier, we don’t have to, but you wouldn’t have told me if a part of you didn’t want to.”
Cat stews over my words for a moment, taking a sip from her coffee. She flicks her hand at my fireplace, igniting it. The room is suffused with warmth, and I readjust, assuming that she’s going to start talking. The water on my skin starts to dry, reminding me that Idoneed to get dressed, but I don’t want to interrupt this moment, so I notch my towel tighter and sit.
“It was so shitty of me, and I really shouldn’t have done it, but I was crying, and he was comforting me because I was afraid you weren’t going to wake up, and I just felt like…like I was to blame. He was holding me, telling me that it wasn’t my fault, blah blah blah, and I could feel his dick pressing against my ass, and then I fell to my knees and licked him like a lollipop until he came in my mouth.”
I’m silent, waiting to hear if there is more. Cat huffs and continues. “Then this asshole is like, ‘If I had known you wanted me, I would have eaten some pineapple to make it sweeter for you.’”
“And did he reciprocate?”
“I didn’t let him. I literally ran from the room. Not my proudest moment.”
I study my friend in her rich purple gown as she tries to hide behind her drink.
“Do you want me to tell Xavier to get lost? He can be like a dog with a bone when it comes to women.”
“You mean a dog with a boner? No, he’s really been good about keeping his distance and listening to me and what I want. But what if he’s just chasing me because of what the Fates said when Galen died? That he and I were supposed to be together? I’ve just discovered this whole immortal life, and he’s already fucked his way through every woman and creature he’s not related to, present company excluded.”
“Are you saying you want to date around?”
“I’m saying he’s had thousands of years to fuck around, and deciding on me is easy because I’m the second-to-last piece of tail he hasn’t had.”
“If you want time to sleep around, Xavier is going to be the last person who will tell you not to. And if he tries to tell you not to, then he can go fuck himself.”
“I don’t know. It’s not like we’ve even talked about a future. And he’s not acting like he’s entitled to me; you know I wouldn’t stand for that. When this is all said and done, I was supposed to be Queen of the Pantheon, but what does that mean? Will I have to marry Xavier? Share his bed? Give him children? I just don’t know what I want. Rafferty actually propositioned me after he blocked my memories, and I scoffed. I told him if I wanted mediocre dick, I knew who to call. Probably not my finest moment, but I felt so out of control, and knocking his arrogant ass down a peg or two felt good.”
“He deserves it.”
“Rafferty couldn’t help you, right?”
“No, but I actually got my memories back during the wedding when Essos and I kissed. We were so focused on the wedding, and then opening the gates, it’s never felt like a good time to make confetti rain down because I can now remember that time Kai had no idea we were throwing him a surprise party, and he walked into the room dick out because he was ready for his birthday present.”
Cat scoffs. “But like, was it as big as I think it is?”
I laugh. “Bigger. I truly don’t know how Helene takes it. He’s definitely rearranging her internal organs.”
She and I are both in giggles when Essos steps into the room, fresh from his shower. His towel is slung low on his hips, and I can’t stop my gaze as it tracks a solitary bead of water moving down his body.
“I’m going to leave you twoalone,” Cat teases, getting to her feet in a rush.
Essos chuckles. “Don’t leave on my account.” He runs his hands through his wet hair, accumulating water and flinging the droplets at me. I giggle again, because it feels so much like how things used to be that I start to see hope. I start to see what life could look like when we’re on the other side of this.
