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“We…” I have to clear my throat because my voice breaks. “We will hear you. All of you.”
I grow two thrones, not of the Underworld, dark and terrifying, but thrones meant for a child of Spring and her king, and then an equally comfortable seat for each soul to sit with us and share their story.
I listen to every single one while my back cramps and my butt goes numb. I don’t move from my perch, even as Essos tries to catch my eyes between souls, even as I fight the urge to hold my stomach at some of the more gruesome stories.
“Daphne,” Essos urges quietly, and I know what he’s going to say. That I need to eat, that I need to get up and walk around, so occasionally, I do. I lead the souls through a garden and infuse it with alcoves for private grieving.
Essos follows, calming souls who are overwrought, but it doesn’t feel like nearly enough for all they’ve gone through. Dave, Spot, and Shadow are all there too, providing emotional support in the form of licks and resting their heads on laps.
Even when I’m dead on my feet, trying to come up with other ways to help, it doesn’t feel like enough.
Eventually, Essos puts his foot down.
“Daphne.” There is censure in his tone now, because the line of souls never seems to end. “We will come back. We have to. But you can’t keep going. You need rest, my love.”
“We understand.” I turn to the voice that said that, and my heart breaks all over again. Taylor Jade, a fourteen-year-old boy whose mother poisoned him, thinking that it was end times.
“How do you understand?” I ask him, choking down a sob.
“When I died, it was like my brain downloaded this whole ‘how to be dead’ guide that explained where I was and what happened. I know my mom is somewhere called the Deep, and I understand why, but I want to ask you to change that.”
Killing her child, regardless of the reasons, would have been enough to earn her a one-way ticket to the Deep.
“Why?” Essos asks, squeezing my shoulder.
“Because she wasn’t a bad mom. She didn’t let me play video games after I was supposed to go to bed, which wasn’t cool, and I know that what happened was her fault, but it also wasn’t. She was scared. I want you to reconsider sending her there. I’ll tell everyone why you have to leave for now, but please look at her case. Also, I think everyone is just excited to see you here. I mean, there was talk of a king and a queen, but to actually see you both in person…I mean, that’s cool too.”
“Who wrote this guide?” Essos mutters, mostly to himself. “We’ll take it under advisement. I’m sorry, we must go, but I promise we will be back.”
Before I can object, Essos pulls me flush to his chest and whisks me home. I don’t object as he undresses me and guides me into the shower, taking care to wash my hair and my body. I don’t object as he uses the towel to dry me before wrapping me in a plush robe and carrying me to bed. I don’t object as he holds me close to him, waiting for my anguish to break through the numb barrier I had to erect around myself so I could hear their stories without putting the burden on them to comfort me.
I don’t object as he squeezes me to him, and my own keening wail lets loose as the weight of what happened to the souls settles on my shoulders.
Taylor asked us to consider his mother’s punishment, and I’ll do that for the boy. “What are we going to do with Stacy Jade?”
“I’ll get her file tomorrow and review it. I’m inclined to honor his request. His mother acted out of fear, not malice. I can’t say a zombie apocalypse makes for clear thinking.”
“You’re not wrong,” I agree, wiping my eyes before snuggling closer. “I hate her.”
“Stacy?”
“No. Well, maybe a little bit. I can’t imagine taking my own child’s life. No, I want to kill Posey for this.” My voice is raw.
“I know. I do too.”
I press my face against his chest. “I don’t think I can do it, though.” Essos stays silent, giving me space to explain. “I thought I would feel better, having killed Galen, but sometimes I get flashes of his blood on my hands. I know he’s back, and he’s alive, now, but it feels like my soul is forever marked. I try not to think about it too much.”
I try not to think about it ever, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.
“I wish I could have taken that hit for you, because I would have. I would have killed him six or seven times over. Wewillfigure out a solution to the Posey problem, but you won’t have to take that hit again. You don’t have to be the one to kill her, if it comes to that.”
“How are we even going to kill her?”
“The God Killer blades. I don’t see why they wouldn’t work on a Fate just as well as they worked on the God Supreme.”
“I want to face her with more than just a maybe.”
Essos presses his lips to the top of my head. “I might have a trick or two left up my sleeves.”
