Page 32 of Orc the Halls


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You don’t want me to meet your mother?

I don’t know what to tell my mother about you.

A pause. Three dots came up. He was typing. Then,I’m the father of your child regardless, yeah? We’re going to be in each other’s lives because of that. Tell her the truth.

I can’t tell her we fucked at a naked party!

Yeah. How does she think you got pregnant?

I said I got ghosted on an app.

So, I’m the ghoster, huh?

You could say you lost your phone and then you couldn’t do two-factor verification and then you couldn’t log back into the app. So, it’s not your fault. And that now we’re back in touch.

I can work with that.Another pause.So yes? It’s a date tonight? Can we set a time to pick you up?

You’re picking me up?She grinned. She didn’t think she’d ever had a date come and pick her up, like it was the 1950s or something.

If that’s all right.

Yes, please.She gave him her address.

GUNNAR WASN’T SUREif he should be touching Hiljd.

She was wearing a red sweater and a headband with reindeer antlers. Her earrings were little dangling tear-shaped ornaments. She had put one finger in his face when he picked her up and said that if he had anything negative to say about wearing festive clothing, to keep it to himself.

He did not, though. She was adorable. He wasn’t good at that kind of thing, at decoration. He said so, and she said, “Obviously.”

What was that about?

“You want to deck my halls, is that what you’re saying?” he said.

She giggled. “Yes, yes, you are just the hopeless bachelor with the big, beautiful farmhouse in need of a woman’s touch. You’re like a woman’s HGTV wet dream.”

He furrowed his brow. “That’s a good thing, right?”

She ended up tugging him through the room where the Yule lunch was being held. There were several long tables set up in the middle of the room, but there were also a number of smaller round tables around the periphery, in front of huge windows that gave a view of the surroundings outside—a pond surrounded by pine trees, all decorated with lights and garlands.

Then, she pushed him in front of her mother and introduced them.

Hiljd’s mother looked like Hiljd but shorter and with more gray in her dark hair. She had a number of golden rings on her fingers, each sparkling with jewels. She gave him an assessing look as she said, “I’m still confused about this. He’s asked you on a date now, when before you said he wasn’t in the picture.”

“Well,” said Hiljd, “you know how when you sign up for stuff, it sends you a text to your phone, and you have to enter this code to get back in? Well, he lost his phone, and so—”

“Why didn’t he port his phone number over to his new phone?” said Hiljd’s mother.

He exchanged a look with Hiljd, who wrinkled up her nose. He turned back to Hiljd’s mother. “I couldn’t. I wanted to, but I started the process without that, and then I couldn’t get it undone. I was on the phone with customer service for seven hours. I mean, it seemed like that. It was this huge pain. I don’t recommend it, actually. Don’t lose your phone.”

Hiljd’s mother chuckled. “And then, why didn’t he start a new profile and look you up again?”

Hiljd glared at her mother.

Her mother clucked her tongue. “Oh, Hiljd, just admit you cut him off and ran.”

Hiljd twisted her fingers together. “Look, it wasn’t a good date, Mom.”

“I’m working to win her over,” he put in.

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