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“It’s not.” I dabbed more soda water on a clean paper towel and continued to blot. “He left this morning.” Thinking about his ultimatum, I pressed hard on the stain, applying so much pressure that I thought my fist would break through the cushion of the sofa.
The living room floor lamp, set on a timer, clicked on. Five thirty. I wondered what Kyle was eating for dinner.
Dana stretched her leg, accidentally kicking me and pulling me from my thoughts. “Do you really want kids?” She had never liked children and had always claimed she’d never have them. As a teenager, she’d even refused to babysit.
“Yes, I want a family.”
“You have a husband. Get a dog and call it a day. I’ll ask Marie when she drops off mine.”
I glared at her.
“The world is so screwed up. School shootings, terrorists, global warming. Wrong-way drivers on the interstate. Why do you want to bring a baby into it?”
I put down my wineglass and stared at her. “Do you really think that?”
“Do you ever watch the news?”
“Yeah, the world needs more good people.”
Dana laughed.
“I don’t want Mom’s and Dad’s genes to die with us.”
Dana’s lips quivered. “They would have loved being grandparents.”
“You’d be a fun aunt.” I pictured her on the slopes or at the beach with my and Kyle’s son or daughter. Of course, I’d have to keep her in my sight at all times. She might be all grown up, but she was still Dana.
She disappeared into the kitchen with both empty glasses and returned with them full.
“I still don’t understand why Kyle left.”
“I want to try another round. He doesn’t.”
“You’ve already tried?”
“Three times.”
“Three times.” She sank against the back of the sofa. “I would have been there for you, Nikki. If you had told me.”
I felt a pang in my heart. I had handled this whole baby thing wrong. It had already alienated me from Kyle and Sharon. I didn’t want to lose Dana too. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Dana sipped her wine. “Do you think Kyle will change his mind?”
I thought about how hurt he was when he found out I’d lied about the money. How he had said he didn’t want to have a baby with someone he couldn’t trust. The wine tasted sour. I put my almost full glass down on the coffee table. “No.” I didn’t want it to be true, but I knew it was.
“Well then,” Dana said.
“Well then what?”
“What’s more important, having a baby or staying married to Kyle?”
“That’s what he asked me to think about when he left, but it’s about more than having a baby. It’s carrying on Mom and Dad’s legacy. I already screwed up the restaurant.”
“We sold the restaurant to Hank. They’d be happy about that, and they’d be ashamed that you threw away your marriage trying to carry on their legacy.”
I sneaked a peek at my parents’ picture on the shelf. My mother’s smile didn’t look as big tonight, and my father had that same disappointed expression that I’d noticed earlier. How had I missed it all these years?
I buried my face in my hands. “I don’t want to lose Kyle.”
