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“Of course it is.”
I freed my arm from hers. “That’s a horrible thing to say.”
We walked in silence for a few moments, listening to the waves break on the shore.
“In every relationship, there’s one partner who loves more and one who is loved more. It’s just a fact,” she said.
Above us, a seagull cawed.
“Why do you think Kyle loves me more than I love him?”
We’d reached the part of the beach that was roped off to protect the nesting piping plover and reversed direction. In the distance, a group of surfers carrying their boards over their heads descended the stairs to the beach.
“The man dotes on you,” she said. “He moved to Stapleton to be with you because you didn’t want to live in the city.”
“I’ve made sacrifices for him too.”
“Name one,” Sharon said.
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t think of anything. A rogue wave crashed ashore, drenching my shorts with salt water.
Sharon laughed and wrapped her arm around me. “Consider yourself lucky that you’re the one who’s loved more. I sure do.”
I didn’t feel lucky. I was embarrassed and ashamed and promised to do better by Kyle. I hadn’t, though. Throughout our entire marriage, he was the one who sacrificed. It was my turn, and I was making the ultimate sacrifice. I would never be a mother.
Oliver jumped up on my leg, pulling me from my thoughts. His front two paws rested on my shin. I scooped him up and cradled him as if he were a newborn. “All I need are the two of you.”
Oliver bit my finger, his sharklike teeth breaking the skin, but the only pain I felt was in the center of my chest.
Chapter 25
The walls in my office closed in on me as I struggled to write the article on Hank. I reread my notes from the interview, but my mind drifted. I couldn’t stop wondering why my parents had never told me that Hank had invested in the diner. I decided they must have mentioned it at some point, but I had forgotten, so I called Dana to find out what she knew. It was after eleven, but I could tell by her groggy voice that my call had woken her. “Did you know that Hank gave Dad money to start the diner?”
Dana yawned. “What are you talking about?”
“When I interviewed Hank, he said he gave Dad money.”
“Okay,” Dana said. “So what?”
“Don’t you think it’s weird Mom and Dad never told us?”
Dana yawned again. “Your fascination with Hank is what’s weird. Who cares if he gave them money? It should make you feel better about selling the place to him.”
“Why wouldn’t they tell us?”
“Probably because it doesn’t matter,” she snapped. “Look, Nikki, the last thing Mom and Dad would have wanted was for us to run the restaurant if we didn’t want to. We did the right thing selling to Hank.”
“It’s never felt like the right thing.”
“It was a sinkhole that sucked money into it. There was no other option.” She paused and then continued in a gentler voice. “You should be focusing on Kyle, not Hank.”
The temperature in the room spiked. Beads of sweat collected above my lip. Dana was right. I was obsessed with Hank. Why had I started our conversation with my encounter with him and not the more critical news about Kyle moving back home? Somehow the sacrifice I was making for Kyle to come back home and losing the restaurant to Hank were knotted up in my mind. I had to find a way to untangle them. “Great news. Kyle moved back home.” I spoke softly because I felt ridiculous telling her now.
“What the hell, Nikki. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I forgot.I couldn’t say it out loud, so I remained silent.
“Never mind. Just listen to me,” Dana said. “Focus on Kyle and your marriage and forget about Hank.”
