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“Yeah, well, at least this screwup benefits us. We get a dog.” I usedusandwewithout thinking, but once the words were out, they hung in the air like a storm cloud about to burst.
Kyle brushed more dog hair off the chair and sat. “I told you months ago we should get another dog.”
I remembered how I had dismissed his suggestion out of hand, thinking a puppy was no substitute for a baby. While that might be true, having Oliver these past days was having someone else to love and be loved by. He taught me that life went on.
“I should have listened. We were happy when we had Cole.”
Kyle closed his eyes and nodded. I imagined scenes from the earlier years of our marriage, before we’d started trying to have a baby, played through his mind.
“I’m sorry I lied about the money.”
Kyle’s eyes opened and met mine.
“I wanted a baby so bad that I wasn’t thinking clearly. I mean, with all those hormones getting pumped into me, it’s no wonder.” I smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
He remained stone faced.
I inhaled deeply and blew out my breath. “You were right. We can be happy without kids.” I couldn’t even take care of a dog. Why had I thought I could handle the responsibility of being a parent?
“This change of heart seems sudden.”
“More like long overdue. These past weeks without you.” I shook my head. “I miss you. Being with you is more important than being a mother.”
“Even if I believe you’ve changed your mind, I’m afraid that down the road you’ll resent me.”
“No. Having a baby isn’t as important to me anymore.” I swallowed hard, trying to convince myself of that. “All I want is for Oliver to be okay and for you to come home.”
Kyle stood. I was afraid I had pushed him too far, that he was leaving. Instead, he slipped out of his jacket and hung it over the railing. He sat down next to me on the couch. “I miss you too,” he said. “Who you used to be. Before all the ...” He stopped and looked at the ground.
I finished his sentence in my head.Before all the craziness.I couldn’t defend my past actions, so we sat in a heavy silence until his phone rang.
“Dr.Drago.” Kyle jumped to his feet and paced as he spoke to the vet.
I stood too. After a few minutes, he smiled and gave me a thumbs-up. “The IV worked wonders. Oliver is fine. They want to keep him overnight to be sure, but we can pick him up in the morning.”
I threw my arms around him, not sure which made me happier: that Oliver was going to be okay or that Kyle planned to go to Dr.Drago’s with me to bring the little red fur ball home.
Chapter 24
The next morning, Kyle picked me up, and we drove to the vet together. Oliver was as happy to see me as I was to see him. He ran across the room with his tail slashing back and forth like a windshield wiper on the highest speed. I scooped him up, and he drenched my cheeks with doggy kisses. On the drive home, he curled up in my lap and fell asleep as I petted him. Every now and then, Kyle glanced over at us and smiled.
“What will you do with him today?” he asked.
“I can work from home, but I need to figure something out for the rest of the week. I don’t want to ask Mrs.Abrams again. Maybe Aunt Izzie will help out.”
Kyle reached over and petted Oliver’s head. “I’m doing a kitchen remodel at the Gunthers’. They won’t mind if I bring him. I can pick him up on my way.”
The next morning, Kyle stopped by at seven thirty. I had homemade cranberry-and-orange muffins and a thermos of coffee ready to go for him. Over the next week, we slipped into a pattern. Kyle would stop by in the morning to pick up Oliver. I always packed a lunch for Kyle. Throughout the day, he’d send pictures of the puppy. My favorites of the week included Oliver curled up in a ball and sleeping on top of Kyle’s toolbox with the caption,Someone’s sleeping on the job.In another picture, Oliver held one end of a tape measure in his mouth while Kyleheld the other end across the room. The caption read,Oliver’s reminding me to measure twice and cut once.
In the evenings, when Kyle dropped Oliver off, he’d linger, telling me how the project was going and asking about my day. Each night, he stayed longer. When I got home from work on Friday, I made chicken parm. By the time Kyle arrived with Oliver, the entire house smelled like tomato and basil, and I easily convinced Kyle to stay for dinner. Unlike the last few weeks that he’d been living in the house, we sat at the table with no television on and talked to each other, even making each other laugh.
That night when Kyle left, I walked him to the door. We stood there awkwardly for a moment, and I felt as if I were on a first date, waiting for him to kiss me good night. He didn’t, though. He thanked me for a delicious meal and pushed the door open. I stood on the landing, watching him back out of the driveway. He honked and waved before he drove off.
The next week, Kyle stayed for dinner most nights. On Monday when he left, he hugged me quickly. On Tuesday, he pulled me into a tight embrace. On Wednesday, he kissed me goodbye, and on Friday he paused by the door. “If this is going to work ...” He pointed to himself, me, and then Oliver, who was curled into a ball at my feet. “If we’re going to work, we have to be on the same page about having a baby.”
I closed my eyes and pictured myself saying the words I knew Kyle needed to hear, the words I needed to be true.I can be happy without a baby.All I had to do was make myself say them out loud, and he’d move back home. I thought about a time, years ago, when Sharon, Rick, Kyle, and I had been vacationing on the Cape. Sharon and I went for a walk on the beach while the guys grilled dinner back at the cottage. Sharon looped her arm through mine. “We’re so lucky we married men who love us more than we love them,” she said.
Her words brought me to a dead stop. “That’s not true.”
