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Dana lifted the sheet and blanket over me. “She is.” A hint of sadness tinged her voice. “Get some sleep.”
Hours later, muffled shouts drifting up through the floorboards woke me. I lay perfectly still, trying to listen. “Don’t go up there,” Dana said.
“It’s my house.” A set of footsteps marched up the stairs.
“Not for long,” Dana hissed. “Nikki will get it in the divorce, so don’t get any ideas about living here with your baby mama.”
I threw the covers off and scrambled into the bathroom, not wanting Kyle to see me in my current state. I eyed the window, wondering if I could jump. Maybe the boxwood bushes would break my fall. Probably not. I’d splatter on the flagstone patio. I imagined tomorrow’s headline on the front page of theStapleton View:Woman Leaps to Death Trying to Avoid Her Cheating Husband.
“Nikki.” Kyle’s voice called through the door.
“She has nothing to say to you,” Dana said.
“We need to talk,” Kyle said.
I turned on the shower to drown out their words. An urge to wash away last night and all that had happened during the past few months overwhelmed me. I tore off my clothes and jumped under the streaming water. I scrubbed my skin until it turned a fleshy red. Steam filled the room, loosening my muscles. I breathed in the rich scent of vanilla from my soap and felt my thoughts slowing.
By the time I dressed, the house was quiet. Downstairs, there was no sign of Kyle, Dana, or Oliver. As I poured a glass of seltzer, a squeaking sound came from the deck. Kyle slumped in an Adirondack chair, staring out at the mountains. I watched him through the screen door without saying anything. My heart ached. I so badly wanted to sit beside him, for things to be right between us, to have never tried IVF. Before everything went bad, we used to sit out there together every night, holding hands and watching the sun set or searching for shooting stars. When had we stopped doing that? Sometime after the first cycle. If only I had been able to get pregnant, we wouldn’t be in this mess. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
“I met Casey,” I said through the screen door.
Kyle flinched at the sound of my voice. “Dana told me you went to the Penalty Box.” He kept his back to me. “I don’t understand why you went there.”
“Did you know she works for my new boss? I actually met her at the office.”
He swiveled so that he faced me. I swallowed hard. His hair, usually cropped close to his head, curled over his ears. Golden highlights and a deep tan made it clear he’d been working outdoors the past few weeks. Several days of stubble blanketed his face. “He looks like Blake Shelton,” I remembered Casey saying. I’d never seen the resemblance before, but this unkempt version of my husband did remind me of the country music star.
Kyle set his jaw and studied me with a steady gaze. “She works for Elizabeth?”
I pushed the door open and stepped outside. The bright sunlight hurt my eyes. I squinted and tented my hand on my forehead. “She’s Elizabeth’s nanny. Came in with the kids last week.”
His eyebrows furrowed together, and he turned back toward the mountain. “I didn’t know.”
“She’s really young.”
He hung his head, but he said nothing.
I eased into the chair next to him. “How did it happen?”
Kyle sighed. “Does it matter?”
“Yes, it does.”
A rabbit scurried across the lawn as a hawk circled above. “Me and the guys. We always went to the Box after hockey, and her and I just started talking one night, and then every time I went there, she was so happy to see me.” He scrubbed his hand over his jawline. “For the past two years, I’d been thinking of myself as a failure because I couldn’t get you pregnant, and she had this way of looking at me like I was a hero. Because I scored a few goals.” He shook his head. “Honestly, she provided an ego boost when I needed it.”
A yellow jacket landed on the arm of my chair. I leaned away from it, toward Kyle.
“That day I found out you lied about the bonus. I was out of my mind with anger. Felt so betrayed. Casey sat down with us after her set and ...”
I held up my hand, not wanting to hear any more. “I was out of my mind with worry that night, thinking something awful happened to you.”
“I know. I felt so bad. I couldn’t face you. That’s why I left.”
The insect crawled toward the backrest. I stood, moving away before it stung me, and looked down on Kyle. “The entire time you were gone, I blamed myself for driving you away, but what you did was worse.”
I stepped toward the door, but Kyle grabbed me by the wrist. “Can we get past this?” His voice broke.
“I don’t know.”
