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“It said, ‘Just checking to see if you’re okay?’”
“And from that you think she knows what happened?” Dana laughed.
Her infectious giggle had the same effect on me as a good massage. My back muscles, which had been wound tight since seeing Kyle, all relaxed. “Why else would she be checking on me? She’s never texted me before.”
“First off, my version of the text is much more interesting. Second, she might not know, but even if she does, you can hold your head high. You didn’t do anything wrong. Kyle did.”
I twisted my wedding ring, thinking about the vows Kyle and I had made the day he slid it on my finger. “I still can’t believe he cheated.”
Dana sighed. “One of my roommates, her mom is a hotshot attorney at a big family law practice. She specializes in divorce. I’ll text you her contact info.”
My back felt tight again. “I’m not sure ...”
“You don’t have to decide anything now,” Dana said. “But it won’t hurt to know how to contact her if you want to later.”
“I feel like it’s partially my fault. Like I pushed him to it.”
“Unless you pushed him on top of Casey and told him to ...” Her voice trailed off. The line was silent for a few seconds. “It’s not even the tiniest bit your fault, Nikki. I would tell you if it were.”
I felt myself smile because I knew she would. Instead of blaming myself, maybe I had to accept that this was Kyle’s doing and try to find a way to forgive him.
There was a commotion on Dana’s end, and then someone said, “There you are.”
“I should let you get back to the party. Thanks for listening.”
“Am I a better listener than Sharon?” Dana laughed, but I cringed, feeling guilty for keeping so much from her through the years. “Don’t answer that,” she said. “I was joking.”
After we said goodbye, I stayed outside, watching fireflies light up the dark sky and listening to the crickets chirp. I felt as if they were trying to tell me something, but I had no idea what, just like I had no idea how to forgive Kyle.
Chapter 38
The scent of coffee became stronger as I walked down the hall toward the conference room. My coworkers all stood around a credenza in the back corner with bagels and a tub of cream cheese set up on top of it. The sound of their laughter bounced off the walls.
“Elizabeth brought breakfast.” Page tossed a crumb-ridden paper plate into the trash. “Why do you think she’s being nice to us?”
Because she feels sorry for me.
Today was the first time in the five months that Elizabeth had worked at the magazine that she’d done something nice for the staff. She sat at the head of the table, scrolling through her phone. I couldn’t help but think her kindness was directed at me because Casey had told her that Kyle was the father of the baby.
Elizabeth looked up from her phone and scanned the room. When she spotted me, her eyebrows rose slightly, and she nodded.I’m right. She knows.I reached for the wall to steady myself, wishing it would slide open to reveal a secret tunnel leading far away from Stapleton.
Elizabeth cleared her throat. “This was a good way to start the day, but we have lots to do. Let’s all get to work.”
One by one, my coworkers filed past her on the way out of the room. As I got closer to the exit, Elizabeth tapped my shoulder. “Can I talk with you for a moment?” Excuses floated through my head.I’m on deadline. I have a dentist appointment. I have to bring my car to the shop.Sooner or later, though, I’d have to face her, so I decided to get it over with. She pointed to the chair next to her. “Have a seat.”
Page stood statue-like in the hallway, looking back at me. She thought I was in trouble. I wished I were.
Elizabeth reached behind her and pushed the door closed. We were alone. “I’m not going to beat around the bush,” she said. “Casey told me everything.”
I slumped in my seat as if I’d been shot.
“It’s none of my business. But I wanted to see how you’re doing and tell you I’m here if you need to talk.”
Other than discussing my parents’ restaurant on the day we’d driven to Pendleton 88 for Hank’s interview, Elizabeth and I had never talked about anything personal. Why did she think I’d confide in her now?
“Thank you. I’m good.”
She leaned toward me and spoke in a low voice. “I have some experience being caught up in scandals not of my own making.”
