Page 20 of If Only You Knew


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“So, your mom won’t be home tonight?”

He already knows the answer to that, but there is no way in hell his mom will be okay with him spending the night.

“Yes, but Mrs. Philips will not let it slide if she sees that her precious son doesn’t come home tonight.”

“Oh, Mama won’t care because I said I was at Beau’s tonight. Don’t worry, it’s only partially a lie as I will have to set an alarm and head over around four-thirty a.m. to ensure I get out of my girlfriend’s bed before her mother returns from her night shift.”

How do I say no to an entire night of cuddling him?

He doesn’t wait for my response, quickly getting out of the driver’s seat and running to my side of the car. Before I can compute what’s going on, he has my passenger door open, belt unbuckled, and is throwing me over his shoulder.

He runs toward my front door, and I can’t contain the laughter as he smacks me on my ass. Once inside, he sets me down and I start running toward my room while Shane chases me with his sweet smile, and I still can’t stop laughing.

It’s all fun and games until we reach my room, and he closes my door. He locks the door because we’ve been nearly caught before when things got hot and heavy. Now it’s a habit of his, and I’m not going to complain. I do not need my mom to see anything between Shane and me in that way.

He makes his way toward me, throwing his shirt on the floor, then discarding his shoes, socks, and pants along the way as well. I just look at him, unable to take my eyes off this specimen of a man. He’s all man at this point if you ask me. I just keep staring because I feel like I need to pinch myself that I get to call him mine.

“Becs, you keep looking at me like that, and I’m going to come just from what I assume is going through your dirty mind.”

I smile, trying to feign sweetness but in reality, it’s true—my mind was conjuring all the dirty things I was planning on doing to his body tonight.

I bite my bottom lip and Shane gets close enough to grab me by the sides of my face and says, “The only one biting that lip tonight is me. I plan on doing something to some other lips before that though.”

Oh, dirty Shane is out to play. I can feel my panties get wetter than they were, and I start to pull at my jacket.

Shane looks up at me, “Let me unwrap my own gift, thank you very much.” He starts at my jeans, kneeling down and popping the button of my pants. He slowly pulls down the zipper while his gaze locks on me.

He’s no longer smiling or acting silly. He’s completely serious and he’s keeping his eyes on the prize—me. I let Shane take over because I already know he is well aware of what I like.

I watch, my breath coming out in short pants, and I find myself needing to remind my eyes to blink. I don’t want to miss a thing he does to me because each time we are together, it becomes my new favorite memory.

He slowly pulls my pants and underwear down together, leaving me bare to him. He looks at me like I’m his next meal, and I can’t wait for what comes next. His eyes still on mine, then he sticks his tongue out and swipes it through my folds.

I can’t help the moan that escapes me. I bite down on my bottom lip again, and this time Shane doesn’t stop me. He has me sit on the edge of the bed, puts his palm on my chest, and slowly lowers my upper body to lay flush with the bed, my chest rising and falling as he continues to eat me out.

He puts both my legs over his shoulders and makes sure my legs open a little more, so he has better access to me. He continues his strokes, making me see stars too soon. I wish this feeling could last forever, but I come down from my high, looking down at him with my pleasure all over his face.

He places open-mouthed kisses along the inside of my thighs, and I shiver from the connection. Every ounce of me is highly sensitive after my orgasm, and I feel everything he does as if it's a little electrical current coursing through my body.

He stands up and grabs a condom from my bedside table. We found ourselves in a few difficult situations in the past where a condom was not at the ready, and we silently sent a prayer above that my birth control was working. So far, so good. Sweet relief. I couldn’t admit it to him, but feeling him bare inside me was beyond anything I thought it could be. But the nervousness that sat with me after I came down from that high wasn’t worth it at my age.

Once the condom is on, he starts to pull my jacket off, kissing along my neck and down my collarbone. He’s unbuttoning my flannel shirt, letting it fall to the sides, and pulling my lace bra down to expose my breasts. He doesn’t even take my clothes off all the way before he’s entering me.

My legs wrap around his middle, and he pumps into me, telling me how much he loves me and how I complete him. I keep saying his name, unable to say much else as I already feel the buildup of another orgasm making its way up my spine.

I begin grabbing at my breasts, knowing how much this will drive Shane crazy. And sure enough, he’s pumping into me harder, while I pinch my nipples and feel myself lose to the impending orgasm that takes over my body. I shudder while Shane keeps pumping, now a loss of control of his movements. On the last pump, he calls out my name, and he falls on top of me, struggling to catch his breath.

“Every single time, Becs, it feels like the first. I never thought I could feel so much love for one person as I do for you.” He detaches from me and discards the condom in an old tissue box that’s in my trash bin.

In the meantime, I run to my restroom to clean myself up. We both return to bed, and I adjust myself under the covers as close as I can to him. He lays us to the side, putting my back to his front, while we look out the window at the stars. He is lightly stroking my arm, causing goosebumps with each movement, but also comforting me to the point I feel my eyes get heavy.

Out of nowhere, he says, “Do you see those clusters of stars over there?” He uses the hand he was stroking my upper arm with and points outside my window.

I nod, unable to form sentences after the sexual exertion he just put me through.

“Wherever we are in this world, always look toward that cluster and know I am looking at them too.”

I can’t help the tear that falls down my right cheek. If my life continues with moments like this while in Shane Philips’ arms, I will live my happiest life. With that thought, I close my eyes and dream about endless nights in the arms of the man I love.

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