Page 13 of Totally Blitzed


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PARKER: He left some stuff at my place before we went out last night—before you say anything, last night wasnota date—and I offered to drop it over to him, but he said he would come to grab it when I was home. So I offered to make us something to eat. To say thanks. You know. For taking me out.

KEIRON: Not a date.

PRESTON: Total date!

ADDY: You went out last night?

PARKER: To a club. No one knew it was me. I was sort of in disguise.

ADDY: That’s awesome, even if you weren’t in disguise. We keep telling you to get out there, have some fun.

PRESTON: That’s great. The fact you went to a club, not the disguise part. I mean, if you’re into that, okay, no judgment, but why do I think it had more to do with you wanting to hide?

PARKER: I just think you have enough on your plates with school. You don’t need reporters asking you about my sex life.

KEIRON: So there is sex?

PRESTON: There would have to be! No one can go that long without getting any.

ADDY: That doesn’t matter. We’re off track, as always.

PRESTON: So what’s this guy like?

PARKER: He’s fun. Maybe too young for me.

KEIRON: You’re not that old.

ADDY: So you went out with the fun, young guy and then asked him to dinner the next night. This might be a date. Do you want it to be a date?

PARKER: I think I do.

ADDY: So make it one.

PARKER: What, like, get flowers and stuff?

KEIRON: And candles, they are romantic as fuck. Plus, if you can get his shirt off, candlelight makes muscles look even hotter. This guy has muscles, right? Tell me it’s a player!

ADDY: He isn’t wrong. Candles, flowers, soft music. Set the scene for a date.

PARKER: And what if he walks in, sees all this romantic shit, and hewasn’tthinking ‘date’ when he agreed to come over?

PRESTON: Hit him with the Lane charm and make him see he wants it to be.

ADDY: Oooor, you can just apologize for getting your wires crossed, change the music to the latest hits, and turn on the lights. Maybe you can be friends?

Could we be friends? Chances are, either way, he won’t be my agent for long. If he doesn’t want this to be a date, he’ll probably ask Terry to reassign me for making shit awkward. If he does feel the same way as me and wants to, I don’t know, date me, Terry will probably insist on reassigning me due to the conflict of interest. Fuck. What am I even doing?

KEIRON: Just go for it. And, dude, please don’t let us hold you back. You already do everything for us. We’re almost done with school. Wecan cope with whatever comes. You do you.

PRESTON: What hesaid. Except try to do this guy, too.

KEIRON: Ahh, I like that better. You do him. Yep, go for it!

ADDY: Good thing you can’t choose your family. But they aren’t wrong, Big Bro. We all agree it’s about damn time you went and got a little bit of that life everyone else seems to be enjoying. We’ll be just fine.

PARKER: Thanks. Will I see you next weekend?

ADDY: Wouldn’t miss it.

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