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"I made some phone calls. Asked some questions."
"Why didn't you ask me?"
He smiles like he's proud of himself. "I want to fix this for you, Dani. Obviously, it's something you don't like to talk about, so I figured I'd do what I could to make it go away, so you never have to talk about it again."
"Right." My heart sinks. "You wanted to fix this for me because I'm incapable of fixing my own life."
His smile fades. "What she did to you was wrong. I want to make it right before she does more damage. You ought to be able to open a new bakery in Atlanta if that's what you want."
I stare at this man I thought I knew. "I want to open a sanctuary farm, Grant. I want to be my own boss. Abby can't ruin that for me."
He presses his lips together hard and looks away.
A cold blade of dread sinks through my flesh and deep into my gut. "You don't think I can do it either. You don't think I can make this sanctuary farm a success."
He sighs and his jaw tenses. "That's not what I said."
"But it's what you think." I'm sure of it. "I'm the train wreck you've had to rescue twice. Of course, you don't think I can run my own business. You probably think you're saving my whole family by giving me an out, right? Maybe you're even saving Lazy. You never thought it was a good idea for him to hire me."
Grant growls and runs a hand through his hair. "Stop twisting everything. You showed up in town less than a month ago with no plans and just decided on a whim to open a sanctuary farm. It's a ridiculously hasty decision. You could have saved Skidmark and Mari without opening a sanctuary farm. It didn't make any sense until I found out about Abby. You shouldn't start a new business just because you feel you don't have any other options. I want to give you back your options."
On one level, I understand what he's saying, but on another, the one that's raging and insecure, he's just one more person telling me I'm taking on more than I can handle with this sanctuary farm. At least that's what I'm hearing. That and he'd be fine with me moving back to Atlanta and working for someone else in a bakery.
I know.
I. Know. He thinks he's helping me. He thinks he's protecting me. But…
Why does there always have to be a but?
"Did you ever consider, before rushing in like a hero, to ask me what I want?" I shake my head and take another step back from him. "You're so hyper focused on saving everyone else. Do you ever think about saving yourself?"
He crosses his arms over his chest. "Saving myself? I don't need to be saved from anything."
"Really? You're happy being alone and riding to everyone's rescue all the time? Spending so much time solving everyone else's problems that you don't even see your own. Don't even see what the people you claim to care about really want."
"Is that what you think? You think I don't see you? I see you well enough that I'm trying to make your life better."
"And you must feel so good about yourself for rescuing train wreck Dani from herself, don't you? You saved my life and now you're going to save my career. Were you just 'dating' me to do the right thing for the poor lost girl who has no one else?" I use air quotes around dating. I'm fully aware I'm now spiraling, but I'm not stopping. Because I'm getting close to the truth here, I can feel it.
"What the hell are you talking about? Dani, I care about you. I'm helping you because I—"
"You care about me so much you want me to move back to Atlanta and get a job working for someone else in a bakery?"
"I just want you to have options. I don't want you to ever feel like you're trapped in Catalpa Creek. Why are you twisting this into something it isn't?"
Maybe I am twisting everything, but it doesn't feel like it. I put my hand on the doorknob, ready to be done with this conversation. "Maybe you should ask yourself if you would care so much about me if I hadn't needed my life saved. Maybe you only care about me so much because rescuing people and doing the right thing makes you feel good about yourself."
"That doesn't make any sense, Dani. I'm trying to help you."
He doesn't get it and he never will. Sadness makes me exhausted. "If you really wanted to help me, Grant, you would have asked what I wanted first like I asked you to. You didn't, because you think you know what's best for me. You think I'm the kind of person who needs someone to pull me off the cliff's edge, when really I'm perfectly okay on my own."
"You've been through a lot, Dani. It's hard to see the right path when you're upset or in transition."
My heart cracks. He just proved my point, and he still doesn't get it. "What I needed from you, Grant, was a partner, not a fixer, not a white knight. I needed you to talk to me and really listen, but you haven't been listening at all."
I turn and pull the door open.
"You know what I think, Dani?" Grant asks, his voice a low rasp. "I think you never intended to give me a real chance. You were just waiting for an excuse to end things because you're terrified of getting close to anyone."
