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Fortunately, I am stronger than my physical urges.
Even if it has been more than three months since I've had sex and longer than that since I've hadgoodsex. And I have a feeling sex with Xavier would be better than good.
There's so much sparking between us and we haven't even kissed. If we rubbed up against each other, I just know there'd be fireworks.
Cherry from three years ago would give in to her physical urges. She would have fun with Xavier and continue to chase RJ with no guilt. Cherry of three years ago was all about fun.
But I'm not that girl anymore. I'm trying to be a responsible adult. I have a plan to set my future in motion, and I won't mess it up by letting fun and good feelings get in the way. Being an adult isn't about having fun, being an adult is about making good choices and sticking to them, no matter what.
Being an adult means setting aside what I want for what I need.
Carefully, I roll out from under Xavier's arm. At least I try to, but as soon as I move, his arm tightens around me.
I freeze, sure he's woken up, but his breathing doesn't change and he doesn't say a word. Since I'm stuck, I settle in and enjoy the moment.
He's holding me so tight, like he never wants to let me go, and it feels better than fifty weighted blankets. It feels so good, tears sting my eyes.
I breathe through the urge to cry until it passes. I close my eyes and memorize the feel and sugary sandalwood scent of Xavier. If he made this feeling a candy, he'd be a billionaire. No one could resist it.
After several long moments, his grip loosens, and I roll slowly free. I get out of bed and look down at him, sleeping so peacefully. I ache to curl up against him again, but he's not the right guy for me.
I've chosen my man and someday I'll wake in his arms every morning. And I'll be secure in the knowledge that he can never hurt me.
I'm desperate for coffee, but if I bang around the kitchen in this small space, I'll definitely wake Xavier. I need time to settle my body and my heart before I talk to him.
I grab my laptop, find a seat on the floor against a wall, and lose myself in plans for his website.
"Cherry?"
I blink up at Xavier, taking a moment to drag myself out of my thoughts. He's sitting on the edge of my bed, wearing only the boxer briefs he wore to sleep, his arm muscles flexing as he rests his elbows on his knees. His hair is mussed, his jaw stubbled, his eyes half-lidded and sexy. Whatever calm I'd managed to bring to my body vanishes in an instant. My heart pounds, my clit throbs, and my throat goes dry.
I want this man. I want to do dirty things to him.
It would be okay. If RJ's going to believe we're dating, he'd believe we're sleeping together. What can it hurt to sleep together for real?
"Cherry? You okay?"
I blink and push down my lust. Adults don't give in to base desires. Adults are responsible.
"I'm just not awake yet. I didn't want to make coffee and wake you up."
His expression softens. "That's sweet of you." He gets up and walks to the kitchen in only his briefs, completely oblivious to the effect he's having on me. "I'll make coffee. I need it if we're putting on a show at the diner."
I clear my throat, unable to take my eyes off the firm muscles of his back or the way his ass flexes as he walks. "How about you get dressed first?"
Xavier freezes and looks over his shoulder at me. "Am I making you uncomfortable? You didn't seem to mind last night when you were clinging to me like a spider monkey."
"I didn't. I woke up with you wrapped around me like I'm your favorite stripper pole." Although, I tend to be a sleep clinger. Even when I've shared a bed with my cousins, they've complained about me hugging them all night. It's possible Xavier woke in the middle of the night with me plastered against him. "Besides, we can't control what we do in our sleep."
He turns fully around. "A favorite stripper pole? Who has a favorite stripper pole?"
I smile fondly. "My friend Francis is a stripper. He let me play on his favorite pole at the club where he works. It's covered in pink rhinestones way up at the top, where he never needs to hold on, and they sort of make the whole pole glitter pink."
Xavier appears to be at a complete loss for words. "You hang out with male strippers and you're asking me to get dressed?"
"I don't want to have sex with Francis."
His eyes heat and it's clear the bulge in his boxer briefs is growing. I slap a hand over my eyes. "Please. I'm trying to be a responsible adult here. Please get dressed."
