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I take a step back and wrap my good arm around myself. "I have good reason to be cautious, RJ. The last time I tried to have lunch with you, you sicced your secretary on me."
His smile seems forced. "You're right. Of course you're right. I want to take you out to lunch today as a first date. I want us to start over, Cherry, to give us another shot, without your mother interfering. You said she's not in your life anymore, right?"
I can't help my smile. He's serious. This is really happening. I don't feel the overwhelming joy I thought I would, but that's the point, right? No passionate emotions mean no drama and no room for heartbreak. "I haven't seen her in over a year." He doesn't need to know how recently I've spoken to her.
He nods. "Good. That's great. I was wrong to let your mother come between us. She's not you, and I know you'd never behave like she does."
Finally. He's finally seen how I've changed. "I'm helping Josephine turn her farm into a tourist destination. It was actually all my idea and I—"
"That's great. You have such a good heart. It's one of the things I've always loved most about you." He grins and winks. "That and the way you look in a cocktail dress. You'll be the most beautiful woman in the room when you're on my arm at the country club."
A twinge of foreboding hits me. "I'm also a career woman, RJ. With a successful branding business. I've already got requests from local businesses to—"
"You've proved your point." He moves closer. "You're a competent woman. You can do more than shop and look pretty. I get it. You'll be an amazing wife and mother, too." He puts his hands on my waist under my coat. "We had a dream once of you taking care of the home while I work. You would love to get involved with a worthwhile charity or two, wouldn't you? That's still what I want."
I move out of his reach, my eyes burning. I've worked so hard to prove to him I've changed that somewhere in the middle of it all, I really did change. And what I want out of life changed too. "What if I want to work? What if I want to have my own career?"
He rubs his eyes and squeezes the bridge of his nose like I'm exhausting him. "You can do your little branding make-overs until we have kids, Cherry, but I'm sure you'll be ready to give it all up and just be a mom by then. It's a fine hobby for a girlfriend, but it's not something I want my wife wasting her time on."
I stare at him. This man once promised me everything I ever wanted. It's what I still want, isn't it? I want to be a wife and have a family, and maybe I will decide to cut back on work or quit all together to raise my kids, but I want it to be my choice and I want a man who'll respect me and my decisions, whatever they are. "I'm sorry, but that's not what I want anymore. I thought it was. I thought you were who I wanted, but I don't—"
His smile twists the tiniest bit, anger flashing in his eyes. "I get it, okay? I screwed up. Can we skip the part where you punish me and move on to starting our future together?"
God, I'm an asshole. "I'm so sorry, RJ, but I can't date you. You're going to have to find someone else to be your future."
His expression morphs in an instant, from kind to furious. There's hurt there, too, underneath it all, but I suspect he doesn't feel any more for me than I do for him at this point. "I should have known you'd be as fickle and selfish as always. You ruined my relationship with Alice, pitched your little temper tantrum, and then you changed your mind? You just changed your fucking mind?"
"I'm sorry." He might not deserve it, but I really mean it. "I should never have interfered in your relationship with Alice. But when I came here, I really believed—"
His laugh is harsh and brittle. "I should thank you. You've saved me from falling for you all over again when it's clear you can never be the kind of woman I want."
He turns and stomps away. I watch him go, feeling more sad about giving up a dream for my future than I do about losing him.
"Do I need to call Xavier and tell him to have a word with the douche bag?" Josephine asks, walking up to stand next to me.
"No. I was the asshole this time. I realized I don't want to be with him."
Josephine nods like she's not surprised. "What changed?"
"I think I did." RJ drives away and relief floods me. Relief that he's leaving without things getting ugly and relief that I avoided a terrible choice. "I still want a family and a man I can count on not to walk away, but I want more. I want someone I love with my whole heart." I turn to look at my friend and boss. "For the first time in my life, I'm thinking maybe I can have a happy and loving relationship." I swallow hard. "I'm thinking maybe I could deserve a life like that."
Josephine's brow crinkles. "Of course you deserve it. Who said you don't?"
"I guess it just seemed like a fairytale, and I'm no princess."
"Princesses are overrated," she says. "And so are fairytales."
"Believe me. I thought the same for a really long time. I thought RJ was the safe choice because he can't break my heart again, but it's too late for my heart."
She smiles sadly. "Xavier?"
"Yeah. Think I've got any chance with him?"
She pats my shoulder. "I don't think you'll know until you ask."
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Xavier
