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“Yes,” he admitted. “But not like this.”
“Kiss me.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, turning his face away for a moment, and then looked back at her, speaking very clearly. “It’s not me you want—you don’t know me. It’s the drugs.”
She felt like she was going to cry. She saw his face breaking with a mixture of regret and longing. She looked down at his body. His cock was rock hard and thrusting up past the waistband of his briefs. Bianca moaned to see him so ready.
“Can I touch you?” she asked, dipping her head down to take him into her mouth.
“That’s not—no,” he said, trying to move away from her, but he was trapped by the dimensions of the boat. Finally, he pushed her shoulders away roughly. “Stop it!”
He didn’t mean to push her so hard, but he sent her flying back. Bianca was sprawled out on the bottom of the boat.
“Fuck, I’m sorry!” he said desperately, shifting over her to help her up. “Are you hurt?”
She looked up at him, holding himself over her, and touched his mouth with her fingertips. “You won’t touch me. You won’t let me touch you,” she whispered. She opened her legs beneath him and trailed her fingers down from his mouth to his chest, to his stomach and then she brought her fingers down between her legs. “Can we touch ourselves then?”
He leaned back onto his heels but stayed between her opened thighs. She moved her thong out of the way so he could see all of her. She dipped a finger into the swelling folds and he let out a deep, guttural moan. He watched her stroke her clit for a moment, and then, suddenly, he gave in. He slid his hand down behind his waistband and wrapped it around his cock.
“Slower,” he whispered, watching her as his hand moved over the shaft of his cock in sweeping motions. “That’s it. I want to feel you open up for me.”
“Like this?” she whispered as she sunk two fingers inside herself, moving them in and out at the same rhythm as his hand.
“Just like that. Now pull out and rub your clit,” he said, his voice shaking. “I can see how stiff it is.”
She obeyed him, high, gasping sounds coming out of her as she did everything he said.
“Harder. Faster.”
They increased the cadence of their strokes together, their eyes locked on each other, until they both arched, their bodies wracked in orgasm at the same time.
Bianca laid back, breathing hard, as the constellations reeled overhead. The world was coming at her in waves. She could hear Elias’ breathing, could hear water splashing as he rinsed himself off.
“Can I come over there and hug you?” she asked.
“Yes.”
He was lying back in the boat, his head facing the opposite way from hers. She sat up and shifted over her legs to come and lie down next to him. She put her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, feeling his heart.
“That was the best non-sex I’ve ever had,” she said.
A huff of regretful laughter escaped him. “Me too. But it was still sex, Bianca. And it was still wrong of me. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Bianca had no idea what he was talking about. She nestled herself against him, trying to keep warm. “Is the air throbbing right now?” she asked.
He growled in frustration. “You are so fucking high,” he said, but not in a good way. “Idiot,” he whispered under his breath.
Bianca was starting to feel like he didn’t want to be there, which made her sad because she had been enjoying herself immensely. But not anymore. Not if he was regretting what they’d done and wishing he could get away from her. She eased away from him, sensing that he didn’t want her to touch him. She felt an ache replacing the warmth that had been building in her since she saw him chasing along the riverbank in the dark, coming to save her. He’d been so kind and so gentle. Now he was angry.
The boat bumped up against something and she heard Elias whisper the word, “Finally,” to himself, then say louder, “We’ve run ashore. We can get out now.”
Elias wouldn’t meet her eyes as he climbed out of the boat, and then held out his hand, helping her disembark. He dragged the boat up to higher ground and started walking upstream without even turning to see if she was following him.
The thrilling sensation under her skin was starting to wane, only to be replaced by shivering cold and a creeping feeling of doubt. Bianca had no idea how long they were walking. Sometimes it felt like they had only just started and sometimes it felt like all she had ever done in her entire life was trail behind Elias’ set shoulders and angry profile.
They made it back to his pile of clothes and the first thing he did was check his phone, even though he was shivering. “I had the station call your brother when I went out to look for you,” he said still looking down. “He’s back at the station, waiting.”
“My brother?” she asked, dread suddenly overwhelming her. “Which one?”
