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As if this once-in-a-generation event really is something to be celebrated, rather than feared. I can barely wrap my mind around me.
The inn is run by a person with pale skin, dark hair, and a truly impressive mustache. They start shaking their head the moment I tell them what we need. “I’m sorry, but there’s only one room available. You might try your luck with another inn, but to be honest, I’m surprised we have any rooms left at all. I’m certain the other establishments don’t.”
Frustration threatens to drown me. This is one stumbling block too many. The pottery on the shelves rumbles as my power slips the tight leash I keep it on. Evelyn puts her hand on my arm, and despite everything, that allows me to get a handle on myself. She smiles at the innkeeper. “That will be fine. Could we get a bath and a meal?”
“Of course.” They eye me nervously. As if I’m the monster they fear. “The room has an inset hot spring and we have an agreement with the bar next door to have them bring over meals for our current guests. It’s all part of the price.”
Evelyn squeezes my arm. “Perfect. My friend has had a hard day, but we’re grateful for the service.”
“O-of course.” They slide a key across the counter and snatch their hand back as if they’re worried I’ll throttle them.
The worst part is that I’m not sure if it’s because of my display of anger or the crimson coat I’m wearing. I wasn’t displaying any power at all when we walked through the crowd earlier. Evelyn might not think I noticed how people skittered out of our path, but it was impossible to ignore. Their fear rankled. It always rankles.
Evelyn leads me back to a surprisingly large room, complete with a decent-sized bed and the promised pool of steaming water. It’s a nice space, but I’m not in the mood to appreciate it. She moves around the room, touching things and humming a little to herself. Even the sight of her isn’t enough to chase away the horrible feeling rotting away inside me. My entire life, everything I’ve worked and fought for and believed in … It feels like it’s teetering on the edge of a massive wave. One wrong move will suck me under and I might never surface again. “Don’t steal anything.”
She gives me a sharp look. “I don’t steal from normal people just trying to keep their business afloat. That’s evil.”
“You steal from me.”
“Yeah, I do.” She comes to stand before me. “You’re not a normal person, Bowen. You’re the villain in so many people’s stories. Us villains have to stick together.”
“I don’t want to be the villain,” I say quietly. I don’t know what to feel or think. All I can see is my ship sailing off to the horizon without me, taking the people who were as close to family as I’ll ever get. Not Dia, but I’m not foolish enough to think Dia will stick around. She’s always moved to her own beat, and that may take her away from me. Even if it doesn’t, she’s not immortal.
Eventually she’ll sail on seas I can’t reach.
Evelyn reaches up and tentatively cups my face. “Most people don’t want to be the villain. That doesn’t mean they don’t stumble into it by accident. I know you try to do good, and this hurts right now, but maybe you should use it as an opportunity to look around and see how things truly are.”
It’s too much. I understand what she’s saying, what the evidence of the last few days is starting to point to, but it’s too big to grasp. And under it all is the horrible suspicion that Ezra knew exactly what everyone believed the Cwn Annwn to be and intentionally carved off those bits in his teachings as he raised me. I can’t think about it. I’m tumbling beneath the surface, and if I start swimming one direction, I’m just as likely to be moving away from the air I desperately need as toward it.
So I don’t think about it.
Maybe that’s the coward’s way out, but I don’t give a fuck. All my problems will still be there in the morning.
I glance at the bed. I’ve been so wrapped up in my misery that the implications are only now settling in. A single room at the inn. One bed. With Evelyn, who I haven’t stopped thinking about since I tasted her.
I take an abrupt step back. Honor didn’t keep me from touching her before, but she’s essentially trapped here with me. I clear my throat. “You can take the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“Bowen.” The reproach in her tone is nearly enough to make me smile. “You can’t be serious.”
“Actually—”
“If you’re making that offer because you regret the kiss in the forest and want to establish some boundaries, that’s one thing.” She moves with me as I turn, not allowing me to hide my gaze from her. “But if you’re trying to sleep on the floor out of some misguided paladin guilt, then I won’t have it.”
“I do not have paladin guilt.”
“You’ve been lashing yourself so intensely since your crew sailed off that I’m surprised you’re not bleeding out on the floor.” She crosses her arms over her chest. Well, under her chest. Her breasts aren’t particularly large, but they’re very present, and they press becomingly against the thin fabric of her shirt and …
Gods, I’m staring at her chest again.
I almost take another step back, but that would be running from her, and I’m not capable of doing that. I don’t want to do that. “You don’t have another choice but to room with me.”
“For all the—” She rolls her eyes. “You might drive me batty, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to strip you down and have my filthy way with you. For fuck’s sake, Bowen, you made me come without taking off any of my clothes. If I didn’t want you, I wouldn’t be here.”
“I’ve wanted you from the moment you stole that flask off my hip. That kiss in the forest was barely an appetizer. I couldn’t justify doing more while I was still your captain, but my ship is gone and we’re just two souls lost at sea.” I shrug out of my cloak and toss it over the chair situated next to the desk. “Never think I don’t want you, Evelyn.”
Her lips curve and her gaze heats. “You sea captains love your water metaphors.”
“Evelyn.” Over the course of a single day, everything has changed. I’d be a fool to throw caution to the wind and fall into bed with her. I don’t care. Everything is spinning out of control, and she might be a force of chaos adding to it, but she’s also the person I find myself turning to again and again.
