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It was a mistake to come.I could tell by the deep, haunted look in his eyes that I should have left the past alone. Seeing him brought all of it back. Memories I’d been trying to forget forced their way through my head. He was still the dark-haired, dark-eyed man I’d fallen for all those years ago, but there was a hardness about him now, too.
“I’m sorry.” I could barely say the words before my eyes filled with tears and emotion choked my throat.
“How did you find me?” Shock seemed to have given way to curiosity. He cocked his head and waited for me to respond.
I didn’t owe him a thing. He was the one who’d ended things between us. I’d been willing to give up everything for him, and even that wasn’t enough. I should be the one demanding answers, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that. Not while he was looking at me with a heat in his eyes that could chase the late fall chill away. A heat that made me wish things had been different between us.
“Ainsley. What are you doing here?”
There was always a chance I’d run into him. I’d told myself it wouldn’t matter, that I’d be able to keep it casual and pretend like it was a happy coincidence. That was before I knew anything about Mustang Mountain. Now that I was here, way after the tourism season ended, it would be ridiculous to pretend that I would have picked this tiny town as a destination for a weekend away.
My mind raced, grasping for words. “Um, I was in the area and Ruby invited me to her Friendsgiving dinner.”
“But why were you in the area? Last I heard, you were still living in London and putting in twelve-hour days at the office.” He looked away and shook his head slightly, like he was mad at himself for letting on that he’d been keeping tabs on me.
“I’m home for Thanksgiving. My boss gave me a few weeks off, so I decided to take a few days and do some exploring. There are supposed to be some decent trails around here, and I want to check out the hot springs.” My voice cracked as I offered up the half-truths.
“Why Mustang Mountain?” Eyes narrowed, he searched my face for clues as to why, after all this time, I’d shown up in his world again.
I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat. This was what I’d wanted, wasn’t it? To find him and see if there were any signs that he regretted pushing me away all those years ago. Based on the gruffness and grumpiness he’d shown me so far, he wasn’t happy to see me.
Suddenly, tracking him down didn’t seem like such a good idea. I’d wanted closure, but the rough mountain man in front of me wasn’t the same man who’d held my heart in his strong, capable hands.
“This was a mistake.” I opened the door to the truck and stepped down onto the pavement. Eager to put distance between us, I didn’t know where to go. Ruby had driven me into town, so I didn’t have my car. I could either head back into the community center and hope Nate would leave, or try to call a taxi or ride share to take me back to the cabin.
I didn’t look back when I heard his door slam. He caught up to me easily since he only had to take one giant stride for every two or three steps of mine.
“Ainsley, wait.” His hand landed on my shoulder. I wanted to turn toward him and bury my face in the soft flannel shirt he had on under his jacket. Years had passed, but he still had the same grip on my heart as he did back then.
I shrugged off his hand and turned. “What’s left to say?”
Cold drops started to fall from the sky. Great. I’d left my jacket inside.
Nate glanced up at the desolate gray clouds. “I just want to ask you one question. Will you answer it?”
With nothing left to lose, I nodded. “What is it?”
“Are you happy?” His forehead creased as his brows knit together. The rain fell harder.
Icy cold drops slid down the back of my neck. “What kind of question is that?”
He grabbed my hand and tugged me back toward the truck. “Come on, you’re getting soaked.”
“I’m not getting back in that truck with you.” It was too much. Being that close to him made me wish for things that weren’t possible. I switched directions and pulled him toward the porch of the community center so at least we’d be out of the rain.
Nate leaned against the building, his dark eyes full of emotion. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or feeling the same mixture of loss and regret that filled my chest. “Just tell me, are you happy?”
“Work is great. I’m up for a big promotion. And I love living in London. I’ve got the cutest flat that’s just steps from the underground, so I can get anywhere I need to in minutes. Sure is different than having to drive for an hour just to get to the next ranch like you do around here.” I was rambling, but I couldn’t stop myself.
He nodded. A raindrop slid down his cheek, and he reached up to wipe it away. “I’m glad everything’s turned out so well for you.”
“Thanks.” Forcing my lips into something I hoped resembled a smile, I hugged my arms into my chest. “I’m going to go back inside and see if I can find something to use to dry off. It was nice to see you, Nate.”
He didn’t try to stop me. I left him standing on the porch, his wet hair plastered against his forehead, and headed inside.
“What happened?” Ruby rushed over as soon as I entered the room. “Honey, you’re soaked right through.”
“I’ll be okay, but I’m not feeling very well. Is there a ride share in town I could call to take me back to the cabin?” The thought of sitting around with a bunch of strangers and trying to make small talk for the next few hours appealed to me just about as much as walking back to the cabin on foot did.
