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I don’t wanna talk about it.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
A lone tear treks down my cheek. I smear it across my face with my thumb.
Fuck.
I’m.
Sorry.
* * *
Gunz
The last to exit church, I close and lock the door behind me.
Fuck.
What a shit show.
Plans are made for Runner’s wake. Big sent him to be cremated. More Remy findings. Despite my heated opinion, Prez wants me back at it tomorrow morning. Just my luck, hours behind a desk for the foreseeable future. Not even a day home, and I’m already picking up the broken pieces left by my lack of presence here. Money, security, and a laundry list of other shit has been added to the to-do list, none of which I wanna do. I’m old. I wanna kick back, relax, ride a bit, and rest. Spend some time getting to know Adam and Kit. Reconnect with my family. Cuddle Harley and Dom. The simple stuff. Maybe take up gardening, woodworking, or some other bullshit. Not be at war. Not spend hours in my windowless office.
Rubbing the pulsing vein in the middle of my forehead, I snort. Things change, huh? A year ago, I wouldn’t have felt this way. I’d be content to spend my days working. I’d be happy to go on runs and takin’ care of business. Funny how going to war, meetin’ someone, having a son, losin’ a brother, and gettin’ shot can put life into perspective.
Heading toward the rear door of the clubhouse, I stifle a yawn. If the loud music from the common room is any indication, our homecoming party is in full swing. Booze, pussy, and a bar lined with alcohol. Brothers are hootin’ and hollerin’ already. Not much has changed. Same shit, different day. What isn’t the same… me. I need sleep. About a year’s worth, and I wanna do it lying beside a bald, tatted-up, beaut, who’s waitin’ on me to come home to her.
Turning left at the corner, I find Kai and a topless Niki arguing. Gripping his cut in both hands, her eyes bugged wide, Niki tilts her head back to look up at our new VP.
“Please! Kai! Please!” The woman shoves her tits at him, hitting him in the gut harder than I’m sure she intends. Kai rocks back on his bootheels to maintain balance. Havin’ none of what she’s offering, he raises both hands in surrender.
“Not happenin’. I’m sorry.” Kai’s head shakes on repeat, doublin’ down on his stance.
If her flinch is any clue, that one stung a bit. She’s not used to bein’ passed over by single brothers. But that doesn’t seem to stop her. In the next breath, Niki steels her expression and clenches her tiny jaw. “I’ve sucked your dick before. I can suck it again.” She tilts her head to the side in challenge, those tits smashing against Kai’s abdomen. Damn woman doesn’t listen. That much is clear.
Red. Ass. That’s what she deserves for this kinda behavior if times were different. If she hadn’t been abused, and this wasn’t an obvious display of some mental issues she’s gotta work through. The woman needs help, not cock.
Giving zero fucks, Niki does what Niki does—drops to her knees and attempts to make fast, sloppy work of Kai’s belt buckle. That’s when my brother notices me watching from afar, trying to get a bead on what’s goin’ down. Looks like someone might also be drunk. Where her keeper is, I dunno. I’ll find out later and kick their ass for not doin’ their job by keepin’ her outta trouble. Niki can’t be left to her own devices. They raped the woman just like the rest of them. She wears the same bruises. This shit is messed up, even to me, and I’m usually down for this level of kink. Hell, I’ve participated in this exact scenario at least a hundred times. Face fucked a club whore in the hall, makin’ her mascara run, as she chokes on my dick. She always played with her clit. Got herself off in time with me wreckin’ her throat.
Christ.
This is… sad.
This is… just… fuckin’ wrong.
Kai makes eye contact. Desperation clings to every inch of the stock-still man. He doesn’t know what to do. Most wouldn’t.
Handlin’ business, ’cause that’s how I roll, I approach and carefully remove Niki from pawing at our VP’s privates. Kai sighs in relief and cards a hand through his long hair. Niki wobbles as I hoist her off the ground by her armpits. She sways even more when righted on both feet. She uses the wall to keep herself steady and snaps an infuriated gaze at me, ignoring Kai’s presence. When she speaks, Niki’s breath fans my face in moist heat and the potency of strong liquor. Tequila, if I had to guess.
“What the fuck, Gunz?” she seethes and stabs a finger to the center of my chest. I grab the digit and hold it there as I gesture for Kai to get lost by the flick of my chin. There’s no need for him to stay. Whatever’s about to go down shouldn’t be clubhouse gossip. The fewer witnesses the better. I don’t gotta tell him twice, and he’s gone without so much as a parting word.
Niki. Niki. Niki… What am I to do with you?
The fury that emanates from this beautiful creature should be boner-inducing. Only I’m more concerned about her state of mind. Not what’s between those thighs.
