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“I thought you hated dances?” She scrunches her nose. I shouldn’t find that adorable, but it’s hard not to appreciate how her expression makes her freckles bunch together.
“Why would you think that?”
“You haven’t been to one all year.”
“We had other things to do. The football game for one, then the wedding.” I hold up my fingers as I list off events.
“True, but we both know you could’ve made time for the dances if you wanted to go.” She stares into my eyes, daring me to object.
“We both know why I didn’t want to go.” I stare right back.
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. It makes me hate how my honesty causes her pain, but I can’t lie either.
“Why do you want to go to this one?”
“Well, I feel bad about not spending much time with the guys this year, and as long as I stay away from the after party, this is something I can do without putting myself in a position to jeopardize my scholarship. Plus, I don’t think the guys will take no for an answer.”
“Makes sense.” She nods her head absently. “But why bring me?”
“Because it will be more fun if you’re there.” I stroke my thumb along the back of her hand.
“It will be just like the wedding,” she laughs sarcastically. “We’ll have to be on our guard the whole time.”
“The wedding wasn’t all bad. We got to dance.”
“If we dance at prom, it’ll start rumors.”
“So, we’ll dance with other people too. Look, I know this isn’t the perfect situation.” I rub my jaw, searching for the words I want, and coming up with nothing better than the truth. “I can’t stomach the idea of you going with someone else, and I can’t stomach the idea of going if you stay home alone. I shouldn’t tell you that but not telling you feels just as wrong. All I know is I need to go, and I want you with me even if you can’t be with me. A group date seems like a happy medium. Besides, we’ve already got the fancy clothes from the wedding, why not wear them one more time, right?”
“Those clothes match. They make us look like a couple.”
“No one will think twice about that when we tell them we’re re-using the wedding clothes.”
“That will just remind everyone we’re related.” She pulls her bottom lip under her teeth.
“Then we’ll remind them we aren’t.” Against my better judgement I take her hand. “Tell me what to do, Sawyer. Tell me how else to handle this. You’re avoiding me, and I hate that I’ve done that to you. But avoiding you back feels just as wrong as spending time with you.”
Sawyer runs her thumb over mine but doesn’t speak. It’s the first time we’ve touched in weeks, and the slight movement makes my body wake up, though I manage to stay focused.
“The way I see it,” I continue, “when I go to school in a few months this problem will be solved for us. Before then, we have Mexico for spring break, prom, and graduation. You won’t be able to avoid me through all that, and if you try to our parents are going to notice. So, let’s just hang out like we always have. That’s better than not hanging out at all, right? Because that’s going to happen soon enough, whether we want it to or not.”
Once again, I have a pang of regret that our parents met before we did. True, I might not have come to know Sawyer otherwise. If I had, maybe things between us would be more typical, smiles and laughter instead of sadness and tension. Still, I’d take what we have now over nothing. That’s how much I like her.
“Okay,” she whispers.
“Okay you’ll go?”
“As you wish.”
This is the first time she’s said those words to me, and the significance isn’t lost. But I can’t bring myself to acknowledge them.
“Thank you.” I give her hand a quick squeeze and get off the bed before I’m tempted to stay any longer.
Sawyer
“Areyousureyouknow where you’re going?” I take Wes’s hand so I don’t lose my balance as I step down from a large rock.
“No, but these are the directions the concierge gave me.”
