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Sitting in a car with Wes is the last thing I want, but causing a scene would be worse, so I say my goodbyes and follow him to his car.
“Is this how you force a conversation?” I snip.
He grips my arm loosely above the elbow and steers me to his car. “This is how I make sure you’re safe, and while I’d like to have a conversation, I won’t force it.”
“You’ll just imply I drank too much?”
“I only implied it's safer if I drive you home.” He unlocks the car and opens the door for me. I get in without a word to make sure he knows I could care less about his good manners. Even though I don’t want to talk, curiosity gets the better of me.
“What was up with you and Ryan?” I ask as he gets in.
“What do you mean?”
“You aren’t worried about drag queen bingo causing a scandal, and Ryan knows it. What were you really objecting to?”
Wes turns the car on and backs out of the space before answering, his jaw firm. “Ryan wanted to take you out. I said no.”
“Excuse me? Now you get to decide who I date?”
“If it’s Ryan, yes. I can’t handle you dating my best friend.”
“Not your call to make.” I don’t want to date Ryan, but I feel like being difficult.
“You think you’ll see me any less if you start dating him?” I cross my arms and look out the window. “That’s what I thought,” he mutters.
We drive in uncomfortable silence, and I wonder if he’s plagued by memories of all the times we rode together, like I am.
Between houses, friends, cars, TV shows, it seems there’s nothing in my life that can’t be traced back to a memory with Wes. It’s suffocating. I can’t decide which is worse, the loneliness in DC or the barrage of memories here.
It’s as we pull into Dad’s neighborhood that I realize he hasn’t tried to plead his case from all those years ago, and that puts me on edge.
“You haven’t tried to talk to me about us.” I accuse.
“You said you didn’t want to hear it.”
“I didn’t think you’d listen. You said you’d let me have my space ‘just this once.’” I mock that phrase with air quotes.
“I also said nothing was just this once with you. Apparently, that means I’ll keep giving you space in the hope that one day you won’t need it anymore.”
“You’re that sure of yourself?”
“I’m that sure of us.” He pulls up to the gate and enters the code, pulling ahead when it swings open.
“There is no us.”
“If that were true, don’t you think one of us would’ve moved on by now?” He maneuvers the car around the circular drive, stopping by the front door.
“You’re not the reason I’m single.” I shake my head, determined not to let on how right he is.
“You’re the reason I’m single,” he replies softly.
“I fell for your lies once. I don’t repeat my mistakes.”
“Neither do I.” He shifts so he’s facing me with unflinching eyes. I force myself to meet them and to ignore the flutter in my belly as I do.
“So we’re on the same page?”
“Not even close.” His jaw is set firm.
