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“The paper said you did.”
“And those are always right,” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “Wait. You read about me?” I try to keep the optimism out of my voice.
“Heisman winner, national champions.” She raises her fingers as she goes. “Kind of hard to avoid.”
“Okay then, what do you think you know about me?” I cross my arms.
“You’re always photographed with some blonde.”
I smirk, knowing where this is going. “Did you catch her name?”
“No. Why would I care what your girlfriend’s name is?” She turns her back and starts folding the blankets Sam likes to keep down here.
“Kaylee was my roommate’s little sister. They’re from Oregon originally so she was always around, and their family took me in since mine was so far away. I took lots of pictures with her, but I doubt there’s a picture of us her brother Kyle isn’t also in.”
“Never saw him.” She fluffs a throw pillow.
“Then you weren’t looking. Or you saw a cropped picture.”
“What about the redhead? The one next to you for all your big awards and stuff.”
“Harper? You don’t remember her from our parents' wedding?”
“Huh?” She finally looks at me, confusion etched on her brow.
I shake my head to cover up the laugh brewing, which would piss her off. “Not only is Harper about fifteen years older than me, she’s married to Pop’s attorney, Jason. She’s my agent, and a family friend. There’s lots of pictures of us, but not because I dated her.”
“You really expect me to believe you haven’t dated for eight years?” Her frown is less intense now, a sign that her anger is fading, although she’s trying like hell to hold onto it.
“Did I go on dates? Yes. A few. Did I date anyone? No. I couldn’t see the point in that when I was still in love with you.”
“There you go, putting on an act again.” She tries to storm past me.
“Dammit, Sawyer.” I grab her arms. “Haven’t you realized by now the only person who never gets the act is you?”
“What?” she hisses.
“Yeah. In front of my friends, I was the serious athlete who walked a straight line so I wouldn’t jeopardize my scholarship. In front of our parents, I was the doting step brother who was always looking out for you. Even today, I’m pretending I’m happy hanging out with a bunch of kids when all I really want is to be with you. Everyone else gets the act. Pretty sure they don’t buy it,” I let go of her arms and rub my jaw, “but that’s what they get. You never have.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Why?”
“Because if I was so important you would have picked me.” Her green eyes glisten with unshed tears.
“Don’t you see that I did?” I object. “I wanted to give you a future, but I didn’t have a plan outside of playing the game you hate. I didn’t want to put you through that. I thought I’d put in my time, build a life you’d be happy with so that when we did get together, you’d have everything. ”
“You never told me that.”
“You didn’t give me a chance to.”
“You didn’t give me a chance either.” She blinks back tears. “I knew football was your dream when I fell in love with you. You think I would’ve asked you to give up your dream for me? You think I didn’t want to see you happy?”
“I think you didn’t want a repeat of what happened with your dad.”
“I believed you, of all people, wouldn’t have put me through that.” She scowls. “I guess you’re more like him than I ever realized.”
“I idolized him, Sawyer. As a player, anyway. I hated how unreliable he was off the field, but I loved how he was on it. I couldn’t take the chance that mirroring his commitment would make me as unreliable as him. I knew I’d lose you forever if that’s what I became. I thought we’d have a chance if I spared you that part of it. That I could get through it and come out without you hating me on the other side. How was I supposed to know you’d end up hating me anyway?”
