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“Humor me.”
“The hunger is there. Making it to the playoffs and getting knocked out in the first round is a good driving force.” I drop to my back and pull my right leg toward me to stretch my hamstring.
“Our sprints were a little sluggish.” He mirrors me as I switch to the other leg.
“It’s day one. If we still look like this on day five, I’ll worry.”
“Fair enough.”
I drop into the splits to stretch my groin, and out of nowhere I’m hit with the memory of Tripp spreading his legs wide that first night, giving me an unobstructed view of his hand sliding over his cock. I enjoyed that encounter far more than I expected to, enough that I’d like to repeat it, but can I do that without developing feelings? I’m not usually a casual sex guy, but I also haven’t tried it. And with my demanding hockey schedule, chances are, casual is the only option.
“Earth to Noah. I asked what you thought about the rookies,” Luca says.
“Sorry, I was distracted.” I press my hips lower to deepen the stretch.
“I got that. Where were you just now?”
I’ve never had to ask Luca for advice, personal or otherwise, and I’m not sure how comfortable I am doing it now. At the same time, the only other person I could talk to is Tripp, and since this is about him that’s not an option.
“Is it possible to sleep with someone without developing feelings for them?”
Luca lets his leg crash back to the ground as he sits up to face me. “I thought you preferred to only sleep with people you have feelings for.”
“I thought so, too,” I mumble as I revisit my past partners, most of which I was dating when we slept together.
“Not anymore?” When I don’t answer, a sly grin spreads across his face. “Okay first, it’s about fucking time you have some fun, so hell yeah. And second, you see me do it all the time. Of course, it’s possible.”
“I see you hook up with different puck bunnies. Maybe a few of them are repeats, but you don’t have a regular…arrangement.” I swing my legs in front of me and press the soles of my feet together like a butterfly to get my inner thigh.
“Are you talking a friends with benefits thing or a fuck buddy thing?” Luca runs a hand through his hair, pushing the sweaty strands away from his eyes.
“There’s a difference?”
“Of course. Friends with benefits is someone you’re already friends with and you add sex to the mix. Fuck buddies is someone you just see for sex. So, which situation are we dealing with?”
While I follow that logic, it doesn’t make things any clearer. “It could go either way I think. We sometimes bump into each other socially, so I’m tempted to say friends, but we’ve never made a deliberate attempt to make plans or anything.” Unless you count Tripp extending the invite to stay at his house, but even that came about through a fluke meeting.
“So, this is more like a friend of a friend that you’re attracted to?”
I shift into a low lunge to stretch my hip flexors as I roll that idea around. “I guess you can say that, yeah.”
“Okay, that makes it easy. As long as you don’t get together without your mutual friend—unless it’s for sex—you’ve got the perfect fuck buddy setup. And yeah, I think it’s possible to have that without catching feelings since you’d only need each other for the physical release, not like grabbing a drink together or anything.”
He makes it sound so simple, when the reality is the fact that I’m staying with Tripp could blur the lines a bit. Although, I’ve only got one night left before I can move back into my place, and after that, things could go back to the way they were. We see each other only when there’s a group event, unless we meet up strictly for sex. That seems a little cold and impersonal to me, but I think I’d rather go that route than try to explore this with anyone else. After all, Tripp’s the one who helped me open this door, and I already know I can trust him to be honest and patient and even encouraging.
“Hey, I lost you again,” Luca interrupts my thoughts. “Are you gonna get yourself a fuck buddy?”
While this conversation didn’t go the way I expected, it did end up helping. “Yeah, I think I am.”
Chapter 12 – Tripp
I turned down sex. With Thor. A hockey god I’ve wanted to defile since the first time I saw him, yet when he begged me to do it, I said no. Who am I right now?
Noah’s emotional state should be none of my concern. He’s a hookup, not a boyfriend. It’s neither my job nor my place to make him think twice about asking for sex. I should’ve just bent over and dropped my pants. Let him fuck me to his little heart's content. And if he turned that into something more than just a good time… Not my problem, right?
That’s how these things usually go. You screw around, you go your separate ways, end of story. Yeah, having mutual friends complicates matters, which is why I’ve made some concessions for him I wouldn’t make for a random stranger, like lots and lots of talking. But telling him to think on it instead of falling onto his dick when he pleaded for me to… I don’t recognize myself right now, and that’s a little scary.
I don’t want to make changes for Noah. I don’t like what that implies–that he’s special–or means something to me. And while I genuinely like the big guy, I can’t let whatever this is become more than platonic. I can’t let him in. Not even Xander has achieved that.
