AllFreeNovel
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“Spectacular, remember.” He waggles his eyebrows.
“I don’t have any. And if I did, I wouldn’t share them.” Damn, I wish my voice didn’t sound so small, but I’m having a hard time reconciling the fact he wouldn’t care if I showed people such an intimate picture of him.
“You wouldn’t share your dick pics with me?” he pouts.
“I meant I don’t have any pictures of you.” I shake my head back and forth. “And like I said, if I did, I wouldn’t share them.”
“Well, I guess bragging about your fuck buddy’s incredible cock loses some luster when your only gay friend is already spoken for.”
“No, I mean if I had any pictures, they’d be just for me. I wouldn’t want anyone else to see you the way I get to.” Though Tripp doesn’t move an inch, his whole body seems to tense up, and I can tell I’ve said too much. “You know, since you said you wouldn’t sleep around while we’re… I figure that includes dick pics. No sharing.”
“Uh, huh.” His head bobs once, slowly. “Is Luca freaking out because you won’t be around to play voyeur?”
I recognize his attempt to change the subject, but I figure since he’s still here after my slip up I’ll play along.
“You caught that, huh?”
“Kind of hard not to,” I admit.
“Yeah, he probably is.”
“That whole thing seems like a weird superstition, and that’s coming from me.” Tripp points to his chest. “How does that even become a pregame ritual?”
“I never asked. When he first told me about it, he said it was something he’d been doing for years, and that’s all I needed to know. You don’t mess with a guy’s superstition or ask for details, you just accept it.”
“What’s yours?” Curious green eyes meet mine.
“I just told you, you don’t ask for details.” I bite back a grin.
“Can’t blame a guy for trying.” He grins back. “So, why didn’t you ask Niko for advice about...things?” He swivels his wrist to finish the thought. “Is it because he’s so young?”
“He may be young in age but mentally he’s so much more mature than most of our teammates, and it’s clear he’s pretty comfortable with who he is. He would’ve been a good person to talk to if I knew what questions to ask. Although, asking my rookie teammate to help me figure out my sexuality probably wouldn’t have made the best impression.”
“Because you’re the captain?”
“And one of the older guys on the team. I’m supposed to have my shit figured out by this point in life. That’s what the new guys expect.”
“I know guys who didn’t figure their shit out until their mid-forties.” Tripp snorts. “One of them raised two kids before he sorted himself. And it’s not just sexuality either. Some people don’t find their calling until later.”
“I hear you.” I play with the hem of my shorts while I get my thoughts in order. “The thing is, it’s sort of my job to take care of the new guys. Show them the ropes and make them comfortable and stuff. The coaches rely on me for that. And everyone looks to me as the example of what to do. How to train and what to eat and how to behave. How can I be anyone’s good example when I can’t even answer a basic question about who I am? That’s why I couldn’t ask Niko, or any of them, to help me.”
“You know when I compare you to Thor that’s mostly an appearance thing, right? I’m not actually calling you a god.”
“I… What?”
“Gods are perfect. People aren’t. Flaws are what make us interesting. Not that having questions about yourself is a flaw, but if you were perfect, all your little hero worshippers would be suffering crippling anxiety from trying to live up to your greatness. Being less than perfect but still trying to set a good example gives them something achievable to work toward.”
When I do little more than let my jaw hang open Tripp points to his hair. “Dye job, not a state of mind. Oh wait.” He frowns. “I forgot it’s not blond anymore.”
I can’t help but smile at his defeated expression as he realizes his punchline missed the mark. “I’m not speechless because you said something insightful.”
“Really?” He arches a skeptical brow.
“No. I’m speechless because I just now realized I’ve spent years setting the wrong example. And because that’s the most words I’ve heard you string together without saying dick.” I bite the corner of my lip to temper my grin, hoping that gesture will lighten things up since I know serious Tripp is prone to getting skittish, and I don’t want him to go anywhere.
He grabs a throw pillow and hucks it at me. “Dick.”
“Uh, you ruined it.”
