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“I don’t really dwell on it. Hockey is sort of all-consuming, and I figure I’ll have plenty of time after I retire to focus on other things.”
“Other things being sex.” His jaw still doesn’t shut all the way, which is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. It’s not that strange to be indifferent about sex, is it?
“Sex, hobbies, travel,” I rattle off the first things that come to mind.
“Hold up.” He raises his hand like it’s a stop sign. “Have you ever had sex?”
“Of course, I have.”
“Then you’re not asexual.”
“I don’t think it works that way.” I pull my brows together.
“How does it work then?” He tilts his head to the side, giving me a critical once over.
“I don’t know. If I feel the need to have sex, I do, I just don’t feel the need often. I’m not sure if that makes me asexual or…something else. Like I said, I’ll have more time to figure that out when I’m done with hockey.”
“Still not following.” He shakes his head. “If you’re not interested, why do you rake your eyes over my body when you think I’m not looking?”
“I didn’t know I was.” Tripp rolls his eyes, forcing me to protest. “Seriously. I admire the way you move on a skateboard, I think because it’s similar to skating on ice in some ways. But guys on the ice are covered in pads so they’re kind of a solid blob whereas you’re usually shirtless so I can see how your body moves.”
“So, you’re watching a body in motion, not necessarily my body?”
I sip my drink while I consider the question, feeling my face heat slightly as I answer. “I don’t watch Xander the same way I watch you, and I’m not sure if that’s because he’s my friend’s boyfriend and I deliberately avoid focusing on him, or because he doesn’t hold my interest. I’ve never really analyzed it.”
Tripp studies me as he chews on his lip like he’s mulling over what to say next. “Why do I hold your interest? And don’t say that I’m pretty, you know how I feel about that word.”
This isn’t a conversation I expected to have today, or ever really, though it’s not as embarrassing as I expected. A little awkward maybe, but not embarrassing. Plus, I half wonder if sharing my thoughts aloud might give me some clarity.
“The first time I saw you, I wondered if you were a model. You have the angular bone structure and lean physique the industry looks for, and you project this confidence that reminded me of a model I once dated.”
“You watch me because I remind you of an old girlfriend?”
“At first.”
“And now?”
My brows draw together as I search for the right words. “That’s harder to answer. Obviously, you’re an attractive—”
“Hot,” he interjects.
“Hot man.” I try not to smile. “And I like your confidence. It makes you seem authentic, not superficial, which I respect.”
“Oh my God. Are you about to give me the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ line? I have all these great qualities, but I don’t get your dick hard?” He huffs out a breath of air and drops his gaze to his lap, muttering softly, “You better snap the fuck out of it because I am way too young to be celibate.”
Now it’s my jaw that drops. “Celibate?”
“I’m sorry, what?” Tripp sets his drink on the coffee table and looks at me like he didn’t say anything at all, but the flush creeping up his neck says otherwise.
“I just confessed something I’ve never told anyone because I don't even understand it. I was willing to tell you since you’re the only person I know who might be able to help me figure this out. You're open-minded and aren't afraid to say anything. Don't change that now. What did you mean by celibate?”
Tripp’s eyes narrow just a fraction, making me think he’s about to clam up, but his features seem to soften as he flops back against the cushions. With a groan, he drapes an arm over his eyes and gestures to the bulge his shorts are doing little to hide. “This only happens around you, big guy.”
My chest suddenly feels tight, like it’s too small to hold my lungs. “What only happens around me?”
Tripp lifts his arm just enough for me to see his exasperated look. “You stop pucks at a hundred miles an hour, don’t tell me you can’t see what you do to my cock.”
“I mean, yeah, of course I can. But I thought that happened around lots of people.”
