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“Oh, youareawake. May I come in?”
He widened his eyes, knowing well what Darcy would see in them:Fuck, fuck, what do we do?
He didn’t have time to answer before the doorknob slowly turned. Darcy lunged to the floor on the opposite side of the bed, successfully hiding himself from view.
When Ada stepped in, she clung to the door and poked her face into the room, as if to scrutinize the scene. He made as though he were just emerging from the bathroom, tying the loop of his belt.
“What, what is it, Ada?”
“I had a bad dream.”
“Is that all? Don’t worry, you know that’s just what they are—dreams, not real.”
“I know, I know, but it was really scary.”
“A nightmare, then. Come on.” He motioned toward the door, as if to escort her out.. “Let’s get you back to bed now.”
“I can go alone,” she said. “I might just check on Papa again.”
“Your papa’s not too well right now, Ada. He needs all the sleep he can get. Maybe Darcy will come and check on you, how does that sound?”
She pondered that for a moment. Through the silence, he could’ve sworn he heard a cough emanating from under the bed, and felt his ears burn red. He was shaking under the folds of his toweled gown.
“Well, alright. Good luck trying to get him to bother withme.”
“You’re not a bother, Ada. You know that. I’ll rouse him from his slumber if I must. I promise he’ll be with you soon.”
“Alright then, goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
When he shut the door, Darcy rose from the floor, started brushing at his person. “Well, that was a close one.”
Bron went immediately to his side and encircled him. “You could have hidden in there, you know.” He gestured to the bathroom door, mimicked the turning of a key. “And closed the door?”
“Alright, smart arse. Now I’ll know for next time.”
“Next time. Oh really?”
“Yes, now, where were we?” Darcy grabbed him by the face and kissed him, but Bron pulled away.
“Didn’t you hear any of that? You need to go to Ada; she’s waiting for you.”
“Christ in heaven, why?” Darcy whined.
He poked him in the chest. “Stop. Moaning. It’s the right thing to do.”
“Fine,” he agreed, as Bron helped him to do up the buttons of his shirt. “You’re right. I’ll go.”
“And I’ll be right here waiting for you when you get back … to undo these again.”
“I’m sure you will, my—” he stopped, smirked, kissed him on the cheek, and rushed out of the door in a movement that said,“I’ll be back quickly.”
Bron sat with his legs crossed in the middle of his bed and noted the time on the clock. NinePM. He smiled at himself, having never felt such happiness. He stood again to tug at the bedspread that Clarence always tucked too tightly, so that when Darcy came back, the bed would be easily accessible. They would climb under the covers, and he’d allow himself to be undressed again. Their figures would touch, and he would feel Darcy’s warmth on his skin, on his body, which yearned, yearned to be filled. He flicked on the bedside light in anticipation, then turned it off again, preferring to wait in the darkness.
But soon nine turned to ten, ten to eleven.What’s happened? Why hasn’t he come back?He curled himself up into a ball, paced his bedroom up and down, only to curl back up again and wait.Did I say something wrong? Do something wrong? Have I fucked it up again?Like a ghost haunting the corner of a room, his thoughts, digesting the intimacy he’d just encountered, dissolved into memories of another. Of Harry, whom he missed so much. It didn’t matter where he was, or how much Darcy set his heart aflutter, Harry was always on his mind. Memories of Harry danced across his eyelids. And as he waited for Darcy to return, he remembered the moment that had changed his relationship with Harry forever.
They had gone upstairs to Star of the Sea. Neither of them had been very much interested in talking about anything, not even the movie,Maurice, which they’d just seen. It was something about the way it made them feel that kept them silent. He remembered the stir of inspiration, how his mind was full of romance: stolen glances and transgressions. And Harry—well, there was something off-ish about Harry, about the way he stared into the shadow of black space like a lifeless entity, or the way his chest rose and fell like a vessel.
