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‘Anything that I can help with?’
Edie glanced over at her and shook her head. ‘No, but thank you for asking. This is one dilemma I need to try to figure out by myself.’
She stood up, tugging at Molly’s lead, before Amelia could ask anything else. ‘Right, we’ll leave you in peace and be on our way. Come on, my pup, let’s go and find some rabbits.’ Molly’s ears pricked up and she wagged her tail excitedly. ‘See you later.’
‘Bye.’ Amelia watched the woman continue to make her way along the shore, Molly at her heels.
Amelia’s phone pinged and she pulled it from her pocket, smiling when she realised it was a WhatsApp voice message from Suna. She pressed play and listened.
‘Hi honey, I am so sorry it’s taken an age to call back. Work’s been so busy . . . and, well, no excuses, I should have replied by now. How are you? By the looks of all the pictures you are sendingyou’re having an amazing time, which I am so glad about. You deserve to. I hope you’ve found somewhere that sells decent coffee!’Suna sighed.‘You aren’t missing anything here. Same old, same old. Work is manic but not in a good way . . . it’scold and raining. But I expect it’s the same with you in the middle of nowhere.’Amelia could hear the sound of some muffled talking.‘Sorry about that. Another crisis. I’d better go. Let’s talk soon. Miss you. Bye.’
Amelia shook her head as she looked at the blue sky and enjoyed the sunshine on her face, once again relieved not to be in damp London. The thought did not appeal. Mind you, even if the sun wasn’t shining she had no desire to go back anytime soon. She couldn’t help but be disappointed by Suna’s hurried words and her slightly off tone. She had to remember Suna was at work and life was hectic and very different for her. And she was calling from the office.
Yet something about her message niggled at Amelia and left her feeling deflated. She frowned and looked ahead at the horizon. The wind had picked up and the sun disappeared behind a cloud. Suddenly she wanted to be back in the comfort of the hut. She tucked her phone away and stood up, gathered her things and slowly made her way rather forlornly back to Edie’s garden.
Chapter Thirteen
The next day Fergus woke early again. He had actually always slept well until . . .ithad happened. The seagulls swooped and screeched outside, and he threw the covers back, stood up and stretched. Once awake, just lying there wasn’t an option, otherwise his thoughts became overwhelming.
He vaguely wondered if Amelia was up and walking along the beach. Pulling open the curtains to let the morning light seep in, he looked out and narrowed his eyes. A solitary figure stood in the distance watching the waves. Could that be her? He shook his head, wondering why he even cared.
He made himself a mug of tea and walked to the window seat, one of his favourite spots to sit and watch the sun rise. This time of year, the days only got shorter, and as a guy who loved being outside he sometimes found the lack of daylight hard.
Winter was the time he found most challenging, with the countdown to the festive fair and then Christmas itself. But he would never admit that. Plastering on a smile and mustering up as much enthusiasm as he could was easier.
He frowned as a memory of Ellen floated into his mind. She no longer constantly dominated his thoughts, though she was never far from them. They’d met when they’d both worked as ski instructors in the lively resort of Whistler. It was one of the most popular resorts in the world, with a small-town vibe and loads of events and festivals over winter. The staff came from all over the world — Australia, Europe and New Zealand, where Ellen hailed from. One morning Fergus had gone heli-skiing with a group of mates and she’d joined when someone had dropped out at the last minute.
Heli-skiing wasn’t for the faint-hearted and his interest had been immediately piqued when he’d set eyes on her. As she’d overtaken him on her snowboard, carving tracks in the snow ahead, he’d been smitten. Later, when they’d been out at a bar celebrating their day, they’d struck up a conversation, which had led to a kiss and then him falling head over heels in love. Ellen had loved extreme sports and hadn’t been afraid of a challenge. But she’d also had a sensitive side, which not many other people had experienced aside from Fergus.
Christmas had always been her favourite time of year and she’d embraced every aspect. The shopping, careful wrapping of presents, decorating the tree, cooking and all the chaos that went with it. A wave of grief hit him. How he missed her.
Four years had passed since she died, yet the pain of her loss could be so visceral and raw, there were days it felt like yesterday. At times he wondered how he’d managed to rebuild his life here. Sometimes it felt like he had sleepwalked through the past couple of years. Keeping busy was the key to coping. That was why he always kept active and on the move, working or helping Edie or anyone else. He’d also joined the local RNLI crew last year. That made him feel useful, especially when he felt so utterly responsible and guilty about Ellen’s death. They should have been married now and maybe have started the family they’d always planned to. Feeling the horrible, unsettling emotions that still visited him regularly descending, he drained his tea and glanced out at the figure now making her way along the shore.
Moving was the best way of making sure his mind was distracted, and there was no shortage of things to do.
Chapter Fourteen
Later that day, Edie and Thea sat at the long table at Cèic waiting for Doris to arrive. Even though Doris ran a successful gin distillery on the island, exporting its brand around the world, her timekeeping skills were terrible. How she ever managed to get anything done, Edie had no idea. Thea, who had put a ‘Closed for 20 minutes’sign across her shop door, kept checking the time and muttering that she couldn’t hang around much longer.
‘Sorry I’m late.’ Doris ran in, letting a cold rush of air whoosh through the door. Her cheeks were flushed pink and she pulled off her pale green hat. Dumping a pile of papers on the table, she asked if anyone would like a drink and dashed to the counter before they had the chance to answer.
Edie gave a nod in Cano’s direction and he mouthed, ‘Same again,’ to her. She nodded her thanks.
The women were gathering to discuss the Christmas fair, which kicked off at the start of December with the switch-on of the festive lights. All the local traders played their role in making sure the event went smoothly. But Edie, Thea and Doris were the regulars at the meetings and executed the plan. Although things were mainly sorted, there were still plenty of details to take care of and discussions as to whether it would snow or not. This happened every year. Doris was a tremendous organiser, although Edie thought ‘control freak’ a more accurate description. She was far too controlling and spent too much time worrying over tiny issues like the size of the cups for hot chocolate and how much they should charge for a visit to Santa’s Grotto.
Doris finally sat down at the table with her mug of peppermint tea. She avoided caffeine as it ‘played havoc with her nervous system’ ? though she didn’t have any problem with alcohol. She browsed through her notes. ‘How are we getting on with this? Thea, do you have the checklist?’
‘Yes,’ said Thea, listing all that had been done and the few things that needed to be finalised, including who would be Santa.
‘Davey, as always.’ Edie saw a look flit between Thea and Doris.
‘I did mention it to him the other day, but he was a bit non-committal,’ said Thea.
‘Oh, I wonder why that is?’ Edie looked thoughtful. ‘I’ll speak to him.’
Edie’s mind was heavy with thoughts and her focus began drifting off from the discussions about the fair. She knew all about how easy it was to try to plan everything in life, only for it all to be upended and turned inside out. Look what had happened to Jim. If only he hadn’t been on the train that day. If only he’d sat in a different carriage. If only . . . and so on. If only he had or hadn’t done something, perhaps he would still be here with her today. Or would he? Would their life together have carried on as normal? Edie now doubted that would have been the case.
Everything that was familiar to her had disappeared in a flash and she had had to get on with life without him. Afterwards she’d sunk into a depression, which followed her around. Her grief had overwhelmed her and more often than not she had woken up in the middle of the night struggling to breathe. After she’d had bereavement counselling, which had helped her adjust and adapt to the monumental life changes, the panic attacks had subsided. She’d come to the conclusion that she owed it to her memory of Jim to try to make the most of her life and seize the moment. She’d let go of the past and tried her best to keep moving forward.
