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He skimmed a final pebble and listened to it plop into the water, and decided he would go to her and try to explain. Surely she’d understand once he’d told her the whole story? When he reached the gate, he pushed it open and walked quietly towards the cabin. But his heart sank when he saw it in darkness. Letting out a heavy sigh, he turned and walked back home.
Chapter Fifty
Amelia didn’t sleep well at all and spent most of the night tossing and turning. She stretched out her arms and lay thinking about Fergus, wondering if and when he might be in touch to offer an explanation. But her imagination started to run wild as she pictured him with Kelly, kissing her the way he had Amelia a few hours ago. She traced her fingers across her lips, remembering how good it felt.
Eventually she got up and cleaned the entire cabin. She wiped down the bathroom, sorted out the kitchen drawers and scrubbed the sinks, and organised her few items of clothing. After that she couldn’t help pace restlessly. She remained furious, despite her attempts to keep busy. A girlfriend? Fergus and a girlfriend? Why had he lied to her? He’d had every opportunity to tell her the truth, yet managed to miss out that tiny but explosive detail. Honestly, what an eejit. Though perhaps it said more about her? She obviously attracted all the tossers.
A sharp knock at the door made her jump. Who on earth could that be? Her heart started to race in anticipation. Fergus? Could it be Fergus?Oh, for God’s sake, Amelia.Pull yourself together. Maybe he wanted to explain. Might there be a logical explanation? There had to be. Why would he kiss her like that if he hadn’t meant it? Even the thought of it sent tingles down her spine. Those kisses feltspecial. They definitely shared a connection; she hadn’t imagined it. Yes, she told herself, Fergus was at the door to smooth things over and explain. She rushed over to open it, but as the door swung back, she gasped.
‘What . . . wh-what are you doing here?’
‘Well, that’s not quite the reaction I expected,’ he said, looking Amelia up and down. ‘I thought you might be a bit happy to see me.’
‘But . . . why? What are you doing here?’ Amelia frowned in disbelief at Declan, who stood in the doorway of the cabin.
Declan had a nervous and worried expression on his face. ‘I came to see you.’
‘But how . . . how did you know where to find me?’
‘Let’s say that I have my sources.’ He grimaced.
Amelia couldn’t quite get her head round the fact Declan was stood here at her door in Arran. Oh God. Why was this happening? He was the last person she’d expected to turn up.
‘Well, you might have called first to tell me you were coming, rather than turning up like this, Declan. I don’t think this is fair at all.’ Amelia knew she wasn’t being particularly welcoming but what did he expect? He shivered and she noted, with disapproval, that he wore a thin jacket, hardly appropriate for the island’s climate.
‘Can I come in? Please?’
She stepped aside to let him in.
‘Thanks. It’s bloody freezing here.’ He ducked under the doorframe as he came into the cabin. She’d forgotten how he filled a space with his height, and he seemed out of place here in her sanctuary, with his designer jeans and boots. He looked like he should be heading to a city wine bar. Yet it was Declan. Familiar Declan. And . . . what should she do? Was she supposed to hug him or kiss him?
‘It’s good to see you.’ He smiled, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. ‘I’ve missed you. A lot.’ His eyes flickered around the cabin as he took in her new surroundings.
They stood in awkward silence. Amelia’s head began spinning. She couldn’t work out why he had appeared so suddenly, after everything, and how he’d got here and what he wanted. Suddenly overwhelmed, what with last night’s events and now this, her temper flared. ‘What makes you think you can swan in here like this?’ Her hands were firmly on her hips. ‘After everything you’ve done.’
‘You are right, and I can’t even begin to apologise.’ The corners of his mouth turned down, but his eyes were warmer.
As she looked at him, she remembered their wedding day and the way she’d gazed into those eyes. This was the man she’d promised to spend the rest of her life with. ‘You broke my heart, Declan. You walked out on me and ignored all my calls. I hadn’t even finished writing the thank-you notes for our wedding presents.’
‘I know,’ he said, clutching at her. ‘I monumentally cocked everything up and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’ He clammed up and wiped a tear away from the corner of his eye.
Declan had never cried in front of her before and his tears unsettled her. Being emotional was so unlike him. She let herself be drawn into his arms.
‘Oh God, I am so sorry, Amelia. I love you.’ His voice shook with nerves and he stroked her hair as he choked back another sob.
Then tears began to slide down her cheeks. After thinking that she had cried every last drop for this man, she surprised herself. Perhaps it was the mixture of pent-up hurt and sadness from these past few months and the emotion of last night. But standing there in his arms, she realised to her horror that she still had feelings for him.
He tightened his arms around her for a moment before he pulled away. Without another word, he reached down and kissed her gently on the lips. ‘I’ve booked into the hotel at the bay.’ He stood back from her. ‘I appreciate this is a shock and I took a risk turning up like this. But I wanted to come and hold you and say sorry . . . and to ask if you would give us another chance.’
Amelia’s mind whirred. ‘But you owe me an explanation, Declan. You upped and left.’
‘What I did was wrong. I panicked. I am a complete tool, Amelia. I realise that now. I just needed some space and some time to think.’
‘But you should have done that with me. You should have been able to speak to me. I’m your wife. No, sorry, correct that. I used to be your wife . . .’
He looked at her intently. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you. I had to figure things out for myself.’
‘But . . .’
