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‘Mmm. She can tell you.’
He looked at her thoughtfully. ‘The thing is, Edie, I don’t like to put two and two together and make mistakes but . . .’
‘Then don’t, Fergus,’ she snapped, more in frustration at her inability to throw him off the scent. ‘This is none of our business and Amelia will tell you what she wants to in her own time.’ She stretched her arms up and yawned, looking at her watch. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I had better go to bed. I will tell her you called in when I see her tomorrow and I’m sure she’ll be in touch.’
‘Okay, I hear you,’ he said, draining his mug. ‘Thanks for the tea. Just tell her . . .’
She gave him a knowing smile. ‘I will.’
Chapter Sixty
The next morning, after a night at a hotel next to the airport where she’d slept surprisingly well, Amelia made her way back to Arran.
Once again she stood on the deck of the ferry, gripping the handrail, thinking about the surreal turn of events. Was it really only yesterday she had made this journey in reverse with Declan? Whathadshe been thinking? It seemed like a bad dream. Now, as she tasted the salt air on her lips and watched the cormorants dive into the water, she was certain she had made the right choice. Her thoughts no longer swirled, and a sense of calm had descended when she boarded the boat.
She’d pulled her journal out on the train to the port and scribbled down some of her thoughts, which she reflected on as the boat sluiced through the water.
That was a gift. If he hadn’t come for me I would always wonder what more I could have done. Now I know I did everything I could. And with that knowledge I can truly and freely move on with my life. Today is the day that I start to love myself completely and unconditionally. I deserve great things to happen and this has been a gift.
She opened a magazine on a page with a feature on infidelity, and laughed as she read an article that may as well have been written for her.
WHY I CHEATED ON MY NEW WIFE
Suzie and Thomas were newly married when he found himself in bed with another woman.
We were only married for a few weeks when once again I found myself in bed with one of my wife’s friends. There had been plenty of flirting before the wedding, and we had a one-night stand. Then after our wedding I bumped into her at the local pub near my office and I realised I still wanted her. It was never meant to be anything serious, just a little fun. I still loved my wife and had never cheated on her before we were engaged. Some of my friends had been with their partners for ages and had never felt the urge to cheat. And I had never been tempted before. Perhaps it was just the pressure of the wedding or having to settle down. I guess I felt a bit trapped. We carried on our affair after the wedding. Even though we had an amazing honeymoon and I swore to myself it would never happen again, it did. My wife was never suspicious. She trusted me completely. I don’t think she ever thought I would cheat on her, never mind with a mutual friend. For that I felt awful and had to do something. Except I didn’t want to end our marriage. I loved her. But I couldn’t sleep for worry. I hated myself.
So I left and said I wasn’t happy. I didn’t tell her that I’d been having an affair as I didn’t want to hurt her. Her friends and family were furious at the way I had ended things. But how could I stay with her when I had acted so badly. It was only when I left that I realised what a huge mistake I had made. I wanted her back. But she found out from someone else that I had been unfaithful and wouldn’t speak to me. Our marriage never got off to a happy start because of the affair and though I finished things, it also meant the end of my marriage.
The words resonated with Amelia, and she knew she wasn’t entirely blameless for the demise of her marriage. Maybe she should have noticed that Declan was acting weirdly. He hadn’t been sleeping well and she’d put it down to his stressful job. That’s when she realised her head had been in the sand. She’d been so focused on having a perfect wedding and happy ever after that she didn’t notice what was right in front of her. It was better she’d found all of this out sooner rather than later. What would have happened if she’d found out after they’d had kids?
She smiled as the ferry sailed into Brodick. She looked up at Goatfell, which was still on her to-do list. There was so much she wanted to do, and she choked back a sob as happiness surged through her. The announcement of their imminent arrival at the pier drew her from her thoughts. She couldn’t wait to hug Edie.
As soon as she stepped off the gangplank and saw Edie waiting for her, she was absolutely certain she had done the right thing.
Edie flung her arms around her. ‘It’s wonderful to see you.’ When they got into the car, Edie reached over and patted her arm. ‘You should be proud of yourself. Look at what you’ve done. You uprooted from your life and came here to this wee place in the middle of winter. This is about you now and settling whereyouwant to and whereyou’rehappy.’
Amelia smiled, feeling hugely reassured by her words. As they joined the procession of cars waiting to exit the car park, she looked at Edie in the driver’s seat and gave her a quizzical look. ‘Did you say anything to anyone else?’
The older woman shook her head. ‘Fortunately not . . . so your secret is safe with me. Although . . .’
Amelia looked over at Edie with a wary expression. ‘Yes?’
‘Fergus realised you’d gone to the mainland.’
‘But how?’
‘Mmm. He came to see you but you weren’t there. I said you’d gone to Glasgow on business but would be back. I didn’t tell him any of the details and nobody else knows you left.’
‘Did he think I went away with Declan?’ Her voice was slightly wobbly.
‘It’s none of his business. He can think what he likes,’ Evie said dismissively.
‘That’s true.’ Amelia reminded herself that she didn’t owe anyone an explanation, least of all Fergus with his secret girlfriend.
‘Don’t worry about him. I’m sure you’ll think of something.’
‘Did you meet his girlfriend?’
