AllFreeNovel
Share Us
17
MEG
Two months prior to Howard search
June 2003
Feather River
Meg, Danny, and Silas all graduated high school on an unseasonably warm afternoon in mid-June. They were back to their old trio, though something felt off, like the three of them were out of stride. Or maybe they were just out of practice, because since Meg and Silas’s disastrous Jeep ride, there had been no new adventures. Silas had spent less time in town and more time at the lodge since breaking up with Jessica, leaving Meg as Danny’s audience of one as he continuously and incredulously analyzed why.Why Silas had ended it, or why he was practically ghosting them?She finally had to beg him to let it go; she was too busy asking herself the same thing.
Jessica took the breakup better than any of them, it seemed, though it was probably just as well the alphabetical seating chart had them all dispersed around the grad platform today. By the time the school band finished playing “Pomp and Circumstance,” Meg had already wilted into the framework of her hot metal folding chair, and their assortedparental figures, a rare showing by Silas’s mom and dad included, didn’t seem to be faring much better up in the football-field bleachers. Sweating through her rented black gown, she wiped the beads of moisture that dripped from under the tight band of her mortarboard.
Silas was voted “most likely to succeed.” Not only had he snagged the title as a newcomer to the school; he’d been the sole nominee. True to form, he strode up the main aisle to the podium to give the customary opening welcome to raucous applause.
Meg wondered how it looked to Danny: Silas, top student. Silas, most popular. Silas, who turned everything he touched to gold, and made it look easy. Meg knew what was whispered when Danny wasn’t in earshot, and sometimes when he was: that Silas overshadowed Danny, everywhere but at the fire station.
“I’m not jealous,” Danny scoffed, when Meg had—just once—brought up Silas’s golden-boy status.
“Of course not. You don’t need to be.” She’d said this too swiftly, and she’d felt her face flush. Yet another example of the awkwardness that had encroached on their dynamic since the Jeep ride.
At the podium, Silas stood before the assembly with careless grace, the sun shining hotly off the crown of his sandy hair peeking in a near-halo around the stiff edges of his mortarboard. His face upturned, his blue eyes shone bright with enthusiasm; somehow he was the only person not melting in the heat. Meg shifted in her seat, peeling the damp fabric of her dress from the backs of her knees, and counted down the minutes until she could finally cross the stage to the podium herself, receive her diploma, and get the hell out of the sun.
They cooled off with half the class at the river afterward, where the Feather widened just outside of town to form a swimming hole surrounded by granite blasted out of the nearby mountainsides, remnants of the area’s gold-mining days.
“Which reminds me that westillhaven’t found that old mineshaft up by Long Lake,” Silas said as they laid towels out on the smooth rock.
“Enough with the constant challenges,” Danny said. “You have nothing more to prove, you know. You’ve won, like, all the awards. Just chill out and relax for a change.” He nudged Silas in the ribs, gesturing across the boulders to where Jessica lay tanning in her bikini. “Or you could fix things between the two of you,” he said. “Since youaremost likely to succeed.” He added a good-natured eye roll, but Meg didn’t miss the sarcasm it masked.
Silas tensed, too. “Let it rest, man.” He flung an arm over his eyes to block the sun, adding into his elbow, “She deserves a way better boyfriend than me.”
Danny muttered that he couldn’t disagree there, but Meg frowned into the brightness of the afternoon, her thoughts still ensnared on his previous dig. Because it wasn’t that Silas tried to prove himself, exactly. It was more that he had to channel himself. Find outlets for his endless energy and curiosity. Take all those maps pinned to the walls in his room, for example, leading him down so many paths. Take his efforts during science class at the creek, or his enthusiasm on the mountain trails, or his stupid prank he’d pulled on the ice.
Her mind shifted back to their Jeep ride and stalled there. Wassheone of those outlets, too? The energy had been almost electrifying that day, in the mud, as the sun had set behind them, chilling her to the bone. His gaze had drawn her right into his orbit, always set at such a frenetic pace. Ever since, the steady rhythm of Danny’s casting and reeling at the river seemed faster. At school, she had worked harder. Silas wanted to see everything, wanted to go everywhere. Could never leave any stone unturned. And it was contagious.
“That boy is a good influence on you,” Meg’s mother had declared, the day Meg had checked “accept” on her UC Davis offer—at least to hold her spot—a few weeks after their muddy Jeep ride.
But it wasn’t just that. Silas’s passion—for the mountains, for adventure, for achievement in all its forms—brought out an answering note in Meg. It illuminated something that was, apparently, alreadyinside her.Like recognizes like,Les used to say, though he was usually talking about the mating calls of birds.
Her eyes swept over Danny, sunning himself next to Silas. He’d apologized following their fight about college, but much like with their trio, an unfamiliar discomfort lingered between the two of them. Meg wasn’t used to swimming against Danny’s current. She could always defer enrollment, but if she actually decided to go to Davis, would he applaud her the way she knew her mom and Silas would? Or would he see it as a betrayal? A lack of loyalty? She looked away, already knowing the answer.
She let her gaze sweep downriver, out of the glare of the sun, startling when she accidentally caught Jessica’s eye. She lifted her hand in an awkward wave, which Jessica returned shyly, as if embarrassed to have been caught watching the three of them. Jessica was alone, not surrounded by her usual gaggle of friends, and Meg felt a little stab of remorse. She could have made more of an effort with Jessica when she and Silas had been together. Tried to get to know her better. She frowned to herself.Hadshe actually preferred to think of Jessica as a two-dimensional concept, just as Silas had accused her of doing? That remorse deepened into something closer to guilt, bringing her to her feet. She made her way between the rocks toward her.
“Hey,” she said, and when nothing more insightful came to mind, she added, “Okay if I ...” She indicated the space on the rock next to Jessica.
Jessica seemed surprised to see her, but made room for Meg’s towel, scootching over while adjusting the spaghetti strap on her shoulder to even out a tan Meg couldn’t hope to achieve by August, let alone June. Her jewelry gleamed metallic in the sun: a couple bangles on her wrist and a pendant at her throat. “It’s great to be out of school finally, huh?”
Meg nodded. But she was still thinking about how easily she, Danny, and even Silas had erased Jessica from their group, how little an impact she’d made on them when she’d been included in it, for thatmatter. “Listen, Jessica,” she began, not quite sure how she’d end this sentence.I’m sorry you’re not with Silas anymore?No, she wasn’t.We miss you?No, they really didn’t. God, it was all so messed up. Silas was right: Jessica did deserve better.
She was still reaching for the right words when Jessica came to the rescue of both, interjecting, “So, what’s everybody up to?”
“Oh, you know,” Meg said. “Glad to have that graduation program finally over.” They all had that in common. But Jessica just nodded slightly, waiting for more. “And just hanging out at the lodge, helping with chores, all that.” If she underplayed it, maybe Jessica wouldn’t feel left out.
“Silas still have that Jeep? I haven’t seen it in the school lot.”
Meg hadn’t anticipated Jessica asking about the Jeep. “Yeah, he still has it,” she said slowly. “Though you’re right, he hasn’t been driving it much.” Because it had proven so unreliable in the mud? Or because of her? She changed the subject. “I love your necklace,” she said, leaning forward to cast her shadow across them both.
Jessica brightened a bit. “Oh, this?” Her fingers reached up to idly toy with the pendant nestled against her bikini top. Up close, Meg could see it was a flat silver disk, a large letter J etched across the surface in sweeping calligraphy.
